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Is the Community digging its own grave

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prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
vgane and 2 members who liked it,

did you practise this yourselves or in your family?

i think the ideas are unworkable because they discriminate against the child who is send to a religious school, and also 'excommunicating' is illegal in today's indian hindu law. the law infact says, even if the child converts to another religion, you cannot disown re property inheritance.

i think each one of us, as they face the situations in life, will muddle along to our satisfaction. no standard formula is applicable. any more. atleast that is what i think.

Mr. K, is right.
According to the Hindu Law of inheritance:
Any person who commits murder is disqualified from receiving any form of inheritance from the victim.


If a relative converts from Hinduism, he or she is still eligible for inheritance.
 

sravna

Well-known member
Dear Shri Praveen,

I do not think the thread has served its purpose yet. The problem and cause have been discussed at some length though of course there have been a number of diversions. I think the solutions from those who see it as problem need to be discussed in greater depth. We will also then know whether any solution is viable at all and if viable what steps need to be taken to realize it?
 

sangom

Well-known member
Here is a new fodder for all the guys who were active in this forum.

Caste bar on marriages became entrenched 2000 years ago, genetic study finds - The Times of India

Perhaps, a new thread may be? LOL :)

If some member can get a copy and see the relative position, chronologically, of brahmins vis-a-vis other groups which were studied, it will be helpful to find whose culturally purified genes are older. Shri Nara and Palindrome may be able to secure the issue of AJHG.
 
OP
OP
V

vgane

Well-known member
vgane and 2 members who liked it,

did you practise this yourselves or in your family?

i think the ideas are unworkable because they discriminate against the child who is send to a religious school, and also 'excommunicating' is illegal in today's indian hindu law. the law infact says, even if the child converts to another religion, you cannot disown re property inheritance.

i think each one of us, as they face the situations in life, will muddle along to our satisfaction. no standard formula is applicable. any more. atleast that is what i think.

Iin case your child goes away from you on his or her own volition and chooses partner on his or her own accord then you can decide to leave a will stating that the wealth earned by you (not hereditary) can be distributed without giving a penny to the person who has run away...This was done in some known cases and the will is also registered...This is completely legal

I think sitting in US you do not appreciate or empathize with the Tambrahm parents in Tamil Nadu toiling in dificult circumstances to educate their kid who give 2 hoots to the parents and choose a partner (IC/IR)..

I gave the example of Marwari (Vaishya) community as I have interacted with several of them
 

C RAVI

Well-known member
After reading through the posts i am at a loss to understand why this post was made in the first place. There was nothing from Prasad which, even remotely, looked like an "instruction / comman / order" and tried to "control" the other members from posting their views.

Please do not misunderstand the posts and jump to conclusions.

All i can say is the post that i have quoted in this reply is completely a misunderstanding and is not at all warranted for.

We are all adults and we need to act/behave like a grown-up.


Dear Mr.Praveen,


You are finding my post irrelevant, unwarranted, jumping to wrong conclusions, outcome of misunderstanding and utter childish. And, I am not clear if Shri Kunjuppu is agreeing with your observations on me OR he is finding your observations on me as Hilarious?

If you say my post was childish and unwarranted, kindly let me know how matured and fair are the below highlighted statements by Prasad, personally mocking at me that you could find as the most warranted, sensible, appreciable and highly matured..


Ravi you know what you are.
If I call you that name I will be banned, so I am not going to call you that. In addition to being young you are ..........


I called for a truce not a surrender, but then again you are not capable of understanding that.

The above post of Prasad clearly represents his anger and outburst on me for not heeding to his call for truce and making my post.

How many members have accepted his call for truce and have put an end to this debate? Why he is picking up on me and making such a vengeful personal comment on me? How can you justify his post against me as Most Rational, Most Warranted and Most Matured?

I am terribly disappointed!!

 
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sangom

Well-known member
Iin case your child goes away from you on his or her own volition and chooses partner on his or her own accord then you can decide to leave a will stating that the wealth earned by you (not hereditary) can be distributed without giving a penny to the person who has run away...This was done in some known cases and the will is also registered...This is completely legal

I think sitting in US you do not appreciate or empathize with the Tambrahm parents in Tamil Nadu toiling in dificult circumstances to educate their kid who give 2 hoots to the parents and choose a partner (IC/IR)..

I gave the example of Marwari (Vaishya) community as I have interacted with several of them

Dear Shri Gane,

FYI, I am living in India and not anywhere abroad. One of my distant relative's (tabra, of course and now aged around 80 or so years) only daughter, a highly paid software engineer could not be married due to horoscope matching problems for some years. The girl chose (fell in love? I don't know) a Scheduled caste man, her colleague, informed her parents that she was marrying him by means of a civil marriage. The father, an orthodox tabra of my generation, could not bear this news and immediately threw his daughter out of the house. She took a room in a local hotel, got married as scheduled and went to live with her husband in Trivandrum itself in a flat.

This father-daughter enmity went on for a few years during which the father wanted to disinherit his daughter of the house property and bequeath it to his brother's son who it was hoped, would also do anthyeshti for the couple (periyappa & periyammai). The news somehow leaked to the daughter who promptly sent a lawyer's notice stating that her moneys had been utilized in acquiring the plot, building the bungalow and also maintaining it from time to time and so, if there is any scheme for disinheriting her, she would file a criminal complaint and get her parents, chithappa's family, the document writer, etc., implicated and also claim one crore of rupees as compensation for loss of her prestige plus return of all the moneys taken by her father with court interest (this principal amount was shown as some 70 lakhs) and she claimed that she had all the bank records to prove her case. (I came to know of such details because this old man's nephew is a friend whose daughter loved a Nadar Christian boy and, after initially trying to talk her out of that alliance failed, my friend and his wife agreed to that marriage in a church, etc.) The old father simply had to drop his vengeful idea. After a year or so of this episode, the daughter got pregnant, the mother disregarded her husband's order not to have any contact with the daughter and went to help her during her days of morning sickness, and later during delivery, etc. Today the daughter, her husband and their child are living with her parents in her flat!!

That is how the reality of the world is. I am giving you this true incident so that you as also all readers will think of the many aspects of emotional decisions and their practicability in the real situations of the society and the laws governing us today.
 

sangom

Well-known member
I am attaching a pdf file relating to paucity of girls among Kannada Brahmins and how they are now coming to terms with IC marriages for their boys. The head of one of their mutts accepts it and agrees that caste purity cannot be maintained any longer. Kindly read.
 

Attachments

  • Brahmins in Karnataka~Article.pdf
    1.4 MB · Views: 263

Nara

Well-known member
...How many members have accepted his call for truce and have put an end to this debate? Why he is picking up on me and making such a vengeful personal comment on me? How can you justify his post against me as Most Rational, Most Warranted and Most Matured?

I am terribly disappointed!!

Ravi, just a couple of days back you justified your smiley face for a post that I thought was insulting and mocking. Now that the shoe is on the other foot you are "terribly disappointed". We all tend to be blind to the offence we give and manage to acquire 20/20 vision to take offence. I wish you will think about that instead of offering justifications to me.

BTW, please take a look at who have refused to sign on to prasad1's truce suggestions and that would show you who the initiators of ill will in this forum are.

Thank you ....
 

kunjuppu

Well-known member
Dear Mr.Praveen,


You are finding my post irrelevant, unwarranted, jumping to wrong conclusions, outcome of misunderstanding and utter childish. And, I am not clear if Shri Kunjuppu is agreeing with your observations on me OR he is finding your observations on me as Hilarious?

If you say my post was childish and unwarranted, kindly let me know how matured and fair are the below highlighted statements by Prasad, personally mocking at me that you could find as the most warranted, sensible, appreciable and highly matured..






The above post of Prasad clearly represents his anger and outburst on me for not heeding to his call for truce and making my post.

How many members have accepted his call for truce and have put an end to this debate? Why he is picking up on me and making such a vengeful personal comment on me? How can you justify his post against me as Most Rational, Most Warranted and Most Matured?

I am terribly disappointed!!


dear ravi,

i just find it hilarious that praveen wants us to behave maturedly. :) i find this funny. if you dont that is ok too. i have a warped sense of humour. :)

btw i am not really following your quarrel either with prasad or praveen. not interested.

only got attracted by praveen's comments. hope this clarifies.
 

C RAVI

Well-known member
Ravi, just a couple of days back you justified your smiley face for a post that I thought was insulting and mocking. Now that the shoe is on the other foot you are "terribly disappointed". We all tend to be blind to the offence we give and manage to acquire 20/20 vision to take offence. I wish you will think about that instead of offering justifications to me.


BTW, please take a look at who have refused to sign on to prasad1's truce suggestions and that would show you who the initiators of ill will in this forum are.

Thank you ....


Shri Nara,

I thought you can honestly figure out what exactly I have taken offence and why is that justifiable.

The smilie that you are referring to, that you took offense of as insulting and mocking (which I said it's more of my expression of laughing in pain) was in response to Shri Vaagmi's post what was to sarcastically/ironically counter your posts.

Both posts of mine and Shri Vaagmi though found to be hurting you, the fact is, our response were against the ideas/views/opinions presented here in form of a forum post and was not an attack/insult on a Member, personally.

But this was the response of Prasad on my post no.609 (by quoting my post)-


Ravi you know what you are.
If I call you that name I will be banned, so I am not going to call you that. In addition to being young you are ..........

My post no.609 was in response to Shri Sangom's post where he stated that, "C Ravi, Shri Vgane and Shri Vaagmi are probably feeling like winning a war in a battle field"

Was that my post no.609 unmindful of Prasad's call for truce was so arrogant, atrocious and insulting to Prasad that he had a compelling need to hit me back with such a statement? Was such a hateful personal attack with insult was most warranted and fair?

My post no.609 was made at IST 2:30am, that is Dubai time at 1am (midnight). At that late time when I was exhausted too, I was not going through each and every post, just happened to find Shri Sangom's post (As I like to read his posts and feel free to counter him considering his disciplined and civil attitude of countering me, if need be, though I am much much younger to him. As well I was sure of Shri Kunjuppu's sense of humor and his attitude with which I referred his name as well as "side actor or Oorgai touch" for fun ) and posted my counter.

And I am sure, if you wish to pass on your judgement about that post (post no.609) of mine without prejudice, you certainly would not find it as an insult and attack on an individual member.
 

C RAVI

Well-known member
dear ravi,

i just find it hilarious that praveen wants us to behave maturedly. :) i find this funny. if you dont that is ok too. i have a warped sense of humour. :)

btw i am not really following your quarrel either with prasad or praveen. not interested.

only got attracted by praveen's comments. hope this clarifies.

Thanks for your clarification Shri Kunjuppu. Happy that I was not wrong in what I was considering.

I have no quarrel with Mr.Praveen. I have no quarrel with Prasad either.

But, I am been personally attacked by few members for quit some time now just because of my Views and Opinions that I register here like any other member.

Considering my Age which is less in comparison among the most active elderly members here, some are making personal attack/insult on me in some way or other.

In future, when I happen to be a victim of such atrocious attack on me, instead of taking offence on them I should fee pity of them for their weakness!!
 

Nara

Well-known member
......Was that my post no.609 unmindful of Prasad's call for truce was so arrogant, atrocious and insulting to Prasad that he had a compelling need to hit me back with such a statement? Was such a hateful personal attack with insult was most warranted and fair?.
Ravi, I am not interested in adjudicating your differences with prasad1. All I wanted to point out was how we as individuals are so ready to see our own actions that are seen as offensive by others to be perfectly justifiable, and at the same time never give an inch when others do the same. So, when the shoe is on the other foot everything changes.
 

C RAVI

Well-known member


Dear Shri Gane,

FYI, I am living in India and not anywhere abroad. One of my distant relative's (tabra, of course and now aged around 80 or so years) only daughter, a highly paid software engineer could not be married due to horoscope matching problems for some years. The girl chose (fell in love? I don't know) a Scheduled caste man, her colleague, informed her parents that she was marrying him by means of a civil marriage. The father, an orthodox tabra of my generation, could not bear this news and immediately threw his daughter out of the house. She took a room in a local hotel, got married as scheduled and went to live with her husband in Trivandrum itself in a flat.

This father-daughter enmity went on for a few years during which the father wanted to disinherit his daughter of the house property and bequeath it to his brother's son who it was hoped, would also do anthyeshti for the couple (periyappa & periyammai). The news somehow leaked to the daughter who promptly sent a lawyer's notice stating that her moneys had been utilized in acquiring the plot, building the bungalow and also maintaining it from time to time and so, if there is any scheme for disinheriting her, she would file a criminal complaint and get her parents, chithappa's family, the document writer, etc., implicated and also claim one crore of rupees as compensation for loss of her prestige plus return of all the moneys taken by her father with court interest (this principal amount was shown as some 70 lakhs) and she claimed that she had all the bank records to prove her case. (I came to know of such details because this old man's nephew is a friend whose daughter loved a Nadar Christian boy and, after initially trying to talk her out of that alliance failed, my friend and his wife agreed to that marriage in a church, etc.) The old father simply had to drop his vengeful idea. After a year or so of this episode, the daughter got pregnant, the mother disregarded her husband's order not to have any contact with the daughter and went to help her during her days of morning sickness, and later during delivery, etc. Today the daughter, her husband and their child are living with her parents in her flat!!

That is how the reality of the world is. I am giving you this true incident so that you as also all readers will think of the many aspects of emotional decisions and their practicability in the real situations of the society and the laws governing us today.


Shri Sangom,

Your story is well taken. Such cases do happen where you will find girls opting for IC marriage as a final resort. The reason being, as you said, getting aged at 30+ or so due delay in marriage, reasoning horoscope mismatch, Gothram issue etc..etc..

When a guy or girl take such a decision as a final resort to live a Married life with a companion of liking for a life time, it is reasonable and justifiable. Every one wish to have a companionship for a life in a marriage institute and lead a family life with spouse and children. As such, taking such a final resort makes sense for an individual.

IC/IR marriages in our community are generally found to be a big issue and a matter of serious concern when young girls with in the age group of 24-30, willingly and systematically opt of such IC/IR marriage, after being in relationship/love for a couple of years. They are the girls who can very well get a guy from TB community as per their wish BUT they chose to avoid them and go for such IC/IR marriage out of their own belief and convictions. I myself have come across couple of cases in which Brahmin girls of that age group eloped with NB guys. I also got to know the painful story of such a Brahmin girl who is now wailing on her plight, marrying a guy from a particular cast. The poor girl is now terribly under distress due peculiar and atrocious practices of that community.

That's the reason why TB community is much worried and associations like ******* are doing their part to create awareness among young guys and girl to know our values, traditions etc and wish to educated them about many possible issues in their IC/IR marriage, in due course of their married life. All these efforts are not only to keep the dignity & sustainability of the Brahmins community in tact BUT to guide the girls as well for the smooth and safe life for themselves and their offspring.

Some of we members here and many of our people in our society are in line with the initiatives of such of our Brahmins associations and are voicing their views accordingly.

 

C RAVI

Well-known member
Ravi, I am not interested in adjudicating your differences with prasad1. All I wanted to point out was how we as individuals are so ready to see our own actions that are seen as offensive by others to be perfectly justifiable, and at the same time never give an inch when others do the same. So, when the shoe is on the other foot everything changes.


Sir,

You are missing my point again and again!!

Attacking a Post for its substance is different than Attacking a Poster as an individual. This point has been made very clear among we members and by moderators, much often.

My terrible disappointment is, justifying the act of personal attack with insult on a member.

I have never personally attacked/insulted a member. If at all I did in rare instances, I did in retaliation to serve them equally, that is obvious for a person to give back, who has self respect and self dignity.


Unfortunately you are giving your deaf ear to what I am pointing out.

I think, I should not be Surprised!! I rest my case with you.
 
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praveen

Life is a dream
Staff member
This thread is now closed. Whether it has served its purpose or not, the last few pages of discussing is so apt with the title - "
Is the community digging its own grave".

Sometimes one should let bygones be bygones.. Instead if we decide to jump on all trivial matters, after a while there will be no one to listen to us.

For the others, who are interested in keeping the discussion alive, please open a new thread.
 
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