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Humour

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sravna

Well-known member
Folks,

The users of this forum would benefit from some diversion. The topics discussed in the recent past have been heavy indeed. I think some dabbling in light topics would help. And it's time to test the humor quotient of the members. I am sure it will be as good as their wisdom quotient.

Humor has its own logic. Generally when some humor is interspersed in the discussions it goes a long way in making the point of view acceptable. People become less resistant. I have seen some members use this in an adept manner but the nature of the topic does not allow for wit most of the times.

Learning is important but with the fun ingredient missing, it is missing something important.
 

renuka

Well-known member
Dear Sravna,

Ok I will start off with a real funny incident in my life.
When I was younger there was marriage proposal(arranged marriage) that came for me and the guy was a doctor also and his family came to view me only bringing a picture of their son.

His parents were saying that their son will abide by their choice and I was not too happy to hear that cos I felt for such an important decision in life I felt a guy needs to be present to view the girl at least.

Ok so this is the funny part.Ok there a very few vegetarians non brahmins out here and so this guys family was very unhappy that I am a vegetarian and they told me directly that we want you as our daughter in law but you must start eating non veg to be able to blend into our family.

The guys father was telling me repeatedly that this is his youngest son and all elder daughters in laws could even cut life chicken,chop mutton into small pieces etc and he was asking me repeatedly.."Tell me what can you cut? can you even cut anything?"

I didnt answer him as I thought he was being dumb and he asked me again..

"All my other DILs can cut meat,chicken,fish what can you cut..answer me Ma?'

So I looked straight at him and said in "I can cut humans..I do post mortems well"

You should have seen the look in his face..real shocked..

Anyway I didnt kind of like their dominating outlook and neither did i like the guys looks from the pic so I said no to this proposal..
 
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sravna

sravna

Well-known member
Dear Sravna,

Ok I will start off with a real funny incident in my life.
When I was younger there was marriage proposal(arranged marriage) that came for me and the guy was a doctor also and his family came to view me only bringing a picture of their son.

His parents were saying that their son will abide by their choice and I was not too happy to hear that cos I felt for such an important decision in life I felt a guy needs to be present to view the girl at least.

Ok so this is the funny part.Ok there a very few vegetarians non brahmins out here and so this guys family was very unhappy that I am a vegetarian and they told me directly that we want you as our daughter in law but you must start eating non veg to be able to blend into our family.

The guys father was telling me repeatedly that this is his youngest son and all elder daughters in laws could even cut life chicken,chop mutton into small pieces etc and he was asking me repeatedly.."Tell me what can you cut? can you even cut anything?"

I didnt answer him as I thought he was being dumb and he asked me again..

"All my other DILs can cut meat,chicken,fish what can you cut..answer me Ma?'

So I looked straight at him and said in "I can cut humans..I do post mortems well"

You should have seen the look in his face..real shocked..

Anyway I didnt kind of like their dominating outlook and neither did i like the guys looks from the pic so I said no to this proposal..

Renuka, Good reply. The reply was indeed a cut above the rest!
 

renuka

Well-known member
I have one more funny incident..if my younger brothers sees this here he will surely yell at me..hehehehehe

When we were small we stayed in a small town and my dad being a Government Director we we given a government house to stay one real old but beautiful British house which was very big and situated on a hill surrounded by a dense jungle.

Every night we would have all sorts of animals come up to the house and we would watch from the window.

One night we saw a group of wild boars and we were watching them from the window from the top floor and all of a sudden my younger bro aged 11 then started pulling my mum away from the window.

He was saying dont stand there..and was almost in tears..and my mum said why are you crying..
He said they will harm us dont stand near the window.

My mum said we are in the top floor..they cant reach us and then my brother said

"Ma..Varaha avatar jumped into the skies..dont stand by the window they will jump up"

All of us had a good laugh and till today we tease him..
 
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sravna

sravna

Well-known member
I have one more funny incident..if my younger brothers sees this here he will surely yell at me..hehehehehe

When we were small we stayed in a small town and my dad being a Government Director we we given a government house to stay one real old but beautiful British house which was very big and situated on a hill surrounded by a dense jungle.

Every night we would have all sorts of animals come up to the house and we would watch from the window.

One night we saw a group of wild boars and we were watching them from the window from the top floor and all of a sudden my younger bro aged 11 then started pulling my mum away from the window.

He was saying dont stand there..and was almost in tears..and my mum said why are you crying..
He said they will harm us dont stand near the window.

My mum said we are in the top floor..they cant reach us and then my brother said

"Ma..Varaha avatar jumped into the skies..dont stand by the window they will jump up"

All of us had a good laugh and till today we tease him..

Dear Renuka,

Young kids possess the ability to make others laugh. When you think of it we mostly laugh at childishness. In the case of adults it is at the immaturity . The former would correspond to your second incident and the latter, the first incident.
 
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sravna

sravna

Well-known member
Here's some humour:

A guru wanted to test the wisdom of his two disciples. He showed them a room each and asked them to place in it something that would fill it. The next day when he saw the room assigned to the first disciple , he saw a lamp was lit that filled the room with light. Next he went to the room assigned to the second disciple. He was totally surprised. The reason: The room was totally filled with hay!
 

renuka

Well-known member
Here's some humour:

A guru wanted to test the wisdom of his two disciples. He showed them a room each and asked them to place in it something that would fill it. The next day when he saw the room assigned to the first disciple , he saw a lamp was lit that filled the room with light. Next he went to the room assigned to the second disciple. He was totally surprised. The reason: The room was totally filled with hay!

First One filled it with a Ray
Second One filled it with some Hay,
Dear Guru now will have to Say,
The first one is Bright and the second one needs to Bray.
 

Brahmanyan

Well-known member
Here is a fresh one from today's edition of "Times of India", under "Laugh Lines":

Sherlock Homes and Dr. Watson were camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Some times in the middle of the night, Home woke up Watson and said: "Watson look at the sky and tell me what you see". Watson replied:" I see millions and millions of stars." Homes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, its quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are few Planets like earth out there, there might also be life." Homes said: "No, you idiot, it means some body stole our tent."

Enjoy,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
 
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Haridasa Siva

New member
Reg post 1: It is a good attempt to bring in humour into a forum where people often engage in heated discussions. Thanks Sravna sir. I agree with your comments @ post 5.

Reg post 2: What a wonderful reply that was, Mrs.Renuka? You perhaps literally gave them a run for their life. It is nice to see a doctor with good humour and interest in religion. And you can also write poems (post 7 above)??!!

Here is my contribution:

In an interview, the interviewer asked was 2 + 2
A maths Graduate answered as follows: "if you add them, you get 4; if you divide them, you get 1' if you subtract, you get 0............... "
An arts graduate answered, "I guess it is 4"
A commerce graduate (accountant) answered, "how much you want it to be?" (meaning accountants can "cook" the books).
Needless to say, the Accountant got the job. Btw, I am also an Accountant. hehehehe..
 

renuka

Well-known member
Dear Haridasa Siva Ji,

You know many have told me that..hard to find a doctor with interest in religion but you know when I used to work in the hospitals before i opened my own clinic..each time any one of us doctors had difficulties handling a serious case you can be sure to be hearing murmurs right across the room from any docs and even nurses calling out softly names of their Ishta Dev be it Hindus or Non Hindus and when we manage to handle the case and patient is "saved" almost every doc will be looking up as a gesture to thank god.

At the most critical hours when handling a patient most of us can feel its not always us that decides.

coming to poems..I do love to write but not too regular its more like a sudden flash of thoughts that sometimes wakes me up from sleep too and thats why I keep a pen and notebook beside my bed..write it and go back to sleep.

renu
 

Visalakshi Ramani

Well-known member
A poem my father told me!

"God and the doctor we alike adore,

But only in danger not before;

When the danger is over,

God is forgotten and doctor slighted."

 

renuka

Well-known member
Ok giving a new twist to your joke dear accountant:


In an interview, the interviewer asked was 2 + 2
A maths Graduate answered as follows: "if you add them, you get 4; if you divide them, you get 1' if you subtract, you get 0............... "
An arts graduate answered, "I guess it is 4"
A commerce graduate (accountant) answered, "how much you want it to be?" (meaning accountants can "cook" the books).

Dvaitin says: How can 2+2 =4 ? there is always 2 only(him and God)

Vishishtadvaitin says: Even if 2+2 =4 ..all belong to 1 only.(all belong to God)

Advaitin says: Sir,everything is an illusion so your question and the answer both dont exists.
 
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saidevo

Well-known member
The words of our English professor about the definition of humour, still echo in my mind:
Humour is the quick perception of lack of proportion and kind expression of it.

I like humour of many kinds, including harmless practical jokes, but I like humour with wit and wisdom more. Here are some such quotes:

• "The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work."--Emile Zola

• "A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday."--Thomas Ybarra

• "A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author."--G.K. Chesterton,

• "Hollywood is like being nowhere and talking to nobody about nothing."--Michelangelo Antonioni

• "You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising budget is big enough."--Ed Rollins

• "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."--Franklin P. Jones

• "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on."--Carl Sandburg

• "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."--Oscar Wilde

• "A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch."--Hermione Gingold

• "Your eyes are always bigger than your stomach."--Confucius

• "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."--Martin Luther King, Jr

• "A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company."--Gian Vincenzo Gravina

• "If only bad habits could be broken as easily as hearts!"--Christopher Spranger

• "Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you will cease to be so."--John Stuart Mill

• "Alas, fortune does not change men; it unmasks them."--Stephen T. Steve

• "If you cannot convince them, confuse them."--Harry S. Truman, 33rd U.S. Presiden

• "The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters."--Jean-Paul Kauffmann

• "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."--George Santayana, U.S. philosopher

• An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today."--Laurence J. Peter

• "Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."--Wilson Mizner

• "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."--Andy Rooney
 

Iyyarooraan

Well-known member
Humour - PG

4 Aspirants for MBA came late to final test. They had not prepared for the test, but they said they were late because of a burst car tyre. And requested the examiner to allow them to do the test next. The examiner thought over and then asked the four to come to test tomorrow. The guys went happy and returned next day. They were asked to sit in four different rooms. The question paper was served to each. The question was: 1) Which tyre burst yesterday?.......The aspiring MBAs were foxed!!
 

Haridasa Siva

New member
Ok giving a new twist to your joke dear accountant:


In an interview, the interviewer asked was 2 + 2
A maths Graduate answered as follows: "if you add them, you get 4; if you divide them, you get 1' if you subtract, you get 0............... "
An arts graduate answered, "I guess it is 4"
A commerce graduate (accountant) answered, "how much you want it to be?" (meaning accountants can "cook" the books).

Dvaitin says: How can 2+2 =4 ? there is always 2 only(him and God)

Vishishtadvaitin says: Even if 2+2 =4 ..all belong to 1 only.(all belong to God)

Advaitin says: Sir,everything is an illusion so your question and the answer both dont exists.


Sorry for late response. From (my) academic definition to (your) philosophical definition. We have problems even with 1+1 (you know what I mean.. Marriage). So, 2+2 could be worse!

Most of my poems are also flash (you can read my poem in the Literature forum) but I am too lazy to write them down immediately. Luckily, I can recollect the knot when I sit down sometime later to give shape to that flash.
 
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