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Bullying at work places

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pannvalan

Well-known member
Let me share these points, from my own experiences.

1. Never show outwardly that you are afraid of him (the bully). But, take
care not to rub him on the wrong side.

2. Do not react, even if provoked.

3. Develop rapport/intimacy with someone whom that bully respects or
is afraid of (caution: that someone should not become an evil force
himself).

4. As Mr. Hariharan told, all persons who try to bully others suffer from
low esteem and a feeling of insecurity. They must have been ill-treated
in a different setting or context and received deep scars. Reach out
to them voluntarily.Try to ameliorate and assuage their wounded feelings
by developing friendship with them and provide the much needed warmth
and comfort. Here also, tread cautiously. The stigma attached to the bully
should not stick on to you.

5. Sharing some positive experiences and by giving small, inexpensive gifts
on important occasions - new year, birthday etc. - will win anybody's heart
and will work wonders.

6. Keep some trustworthy people - one or two preferable - informed of
progress or development at each stage.

7. If you can, keep check to that bully indirectly, without you getting
exposed or caught under any circumstances. (This is a last resort and
not parallel to other steps described above).
 
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vijisesh

Active member
Communication process as all would've known could be a) passive b) assertive or
c) aggressive.

An average person with GOD's given 6 senses can well understand the motives of the other person and

more often the advise given is " Dhustarai kandal dhoora vilagu !"( in tamil ).. for a passive person who takes the kicking all the time !

An assertive person , however may explicitly tell the bully on his face that he is not at all impressed by his pranks and should be brave enough in giving the bully clear signs that on continuation of the irritating behaviour , he WILL report the matter to the superiors / law makers .. ( Should be a moderate brave heart !)

An aggressive person will react by giving back a blow first and then talk --( Following the path of tamil film hero's ) ... but on being an aggressive person , you should have packed suit cases as you may be forced to switch jobs quite often !!
 

drsundaram

Active member
Sir, I admire and appreciate your advise. Can I seek a help from you. My son who has just got into a job at chennai is being bullied and unable to cope up with. Therefore he performs not well and emotionally suffers. Will you be able to pour your suggestions on him and enable him to come out of his shackes. We will be much grateful. Kind Regards Dr Sundaram
 

ambes

Active member
Dear drsdm, I think ur son must be more positive. Let him open out & be assertive. Bullying is a very relative term.It could be just light joking to get closer to him.Let him not get offended for every small thing and find fault. Ask him to get out of the Shell, not to be reserved ,talk to others, join them in convesations and fun, ignore small comments and be a man. Those whom he thinks r bullying him would ultimately be his good friends
 
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RVR

Well-known member
Sir, I admire and appreciate your advise. Can I seek a help from you. My son who has just got into a job at chennai is being bullied and unable to cope up with. Therefore he performs not well and emotionally suffers. Will you be able to pour your suggestions on him and enable him to come out of his shackes. We will be much grateful. Kind Regards Dr Sundaram
My second son had similar problems almost four years back. It was his first job and I sent him mainly to learn something inspite of low salaries in a financial services sector job. Since most of the fellow staff were also getting low salaries,. Due to low salary,the fellow staff were from slums practically. My son was not interested in the job and the financial sector field.

Within few months I withdrew him and he managed a job on his own. He was working very hard in the job including holidays and sundays. After few months, he wanted to pursue further studies and he managed to join NUS, Singapore for higher studies. He finished the course successfully, got a temporary job in an MNC in Singapore and got Permanent residence status also at Singapore. Few months back his contract was over and was terminated. However he is very enthusiastic and is confident of managing himself.

I suggest you consult a Psychologist cum HR consultant and assess his mind. May be change of job or change of place or change of field will help him get out of the problem

Since I am in Chennai, I don't mind meeting him and helping him get out of his problems.

All the best
 

vijisesh

Active member
Dear Dr.sundaram,

i Will be more than delighted to offer help !

Please ask him to participate in the forum ( this thread ) to enable us to identify what really bugs him !

Try and be optimistic , sometimes it's worth dealing with situations / confrontations , smartly , rather than avoiding it !

Let him begin narrating incidents at workplace and we all can jointly chart an action plan of " How to get rid of such elements !"

Sir, I admire and appreciate your advise. Can I seek a help from you. My son who has just got into a job at chennai is being bullied and unable to cope up with. Therefore he performs not well and emotionally suffers. Will you be able to pour your suggestions on him and enable him to come out of his shackes. We will be much grateful. Kind Regards Dr Sundaram
 

drsundaram

Active member
thank you. He works in night and sleeps most of time in day and he hardly gets time to cometo browsing.. He shuns some stranger to confide with his problems and does not open up. He has to be befriended thro some way and then mostly starts sharing after securing confidence level. On one to one basis he is very intellgent and smart. But he shudders in group and tend to wthdraw. By the by are you in Chennai.
Kind Regards
Sundaram
 

ambes

Active member
Dear Mr. Sundaram.
I had sent u a pvt. message. I am in Chennai. I suppose ur son is working in a BPO.
Kindly try to find him a day time job. I have found that many who work in the night and spend sleeping in the day are a depressed lot.this children r found withdrawn and easily get irritated. This is from experience as i run a ladies hostel in chennai Mandaveli with 100 girls. In fact nowadays I do not admit night shift lodgers.
 

Spiri2al

Member
Fear within attracts your nemesis without.

A bully needs someone to bully.

Remove fear at the cosmic level of your consciousness. You will pass him by (note difference).
 
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