Dear Renuka,
Actually i am getting that balance. And what you call as seeking success is wanting to translate that balance to the external world. Yes I have gone through very difficult times but have tried to be positive about it. I have learnt some lessons. After those experiences i very well understand what is fundamentally wrong with our thinking. I genuinely feel the need for edification in the society and genuinely feel that my experiences and lessons over the decade can be of value to the society.
We humans can only heal the day we realize we need to gulp the medication first.
Sravna, in an aeroplane when the cabin pressure drops we are asked to put on the Oxygen mask first before we put it on others.
Have you realized ,you are trying to put the mask on others except yourself.
Why is so hard to get well first?
Do you realize you do not take any advice from anyone? Be it your parents or anyone else.
Honestly ask yourself, does anyone in the world actually think you can save the world?
India is full of Gurujis who are well established in saving the world, some are true gurus and some are good bussinessmen.
Why would anyone think you would have something different to share.
Some part of you still cant see reality, I word my sentences politely as I do not wish to stress up anyone..you should follow the advice of your parents and shift to the USA.
Have you thought how stressed up they would be worrying about you?
A lot of people with your medical condition end up being abandoned by family, you are so lucky still that you have a supportive family..yet???
As harsh as it sounds, no one is going to see your story as an example for the world.
99.9999% of people are only going to think on the same lines as what Prasad ji wrote.
Prasad ji was being point blank honest.
You really need to be with your parents..your life would change for the better..join some sat -sang there, learn Vedanta/ Gita etc..be a bhakta, no need to save the world..save yourself.
Nahi Nahi Rakshatin Dukren Karane.
Your "Dukren Karane" here is the desire to save the world.
Drop that.