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Age difference for best married life

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prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
Generally, in India, marriages are fixed in such a way that the groom is always a few to many years older than the bride. This has been an age-old practice or custom and a bride older to the groom is considered blasphemous. This practice had gained significance back then because a woman in those days would give birth to 10 to 14 kids and with each delivery, the ageing process in a woman increased exponentially. After a few deliveries, if there was no age difference between the husband and wife, the woman would start looking much more older than the man. To gap out this difference, the big gap between ages of man and woman had been formulated. But, nowadays, since women are no longer giving birth to dozens of kids, the big age difference between man and wife has lost its relevance.

But, does this age difference or the lack of it between spouses affect the relationship in anyway, which one is better? I may not be a relationship expert, but I am trying to find out logic and pinpoint about which one is better, when the man is older than the wife, or when the man and wife are of equal ages, or when the woman is older than the man.

In the first situation, where the man is much older than the wife, I will take my example. My husband is exactly 10 years older than me, that’s a decade between us, but when the proposal came, everything fell into place and the only drawback was this age difference factor, but since everyone felt that I was immature and childish, my husband would be the best life partner for me and yeah, I didn’t have much say at that time, but then our marriage has turned out to be a real good one and even though my husband regrets marrying me, I don’t regret marrying him .

The second case scenario is where the husband and wife are both of the same age. Coming to the positives, if there is no age gap, most probably, the man and wife will be having matching wavelengths in thinking and attitude. Since age won’t be a factor, these kinds of relationships can be friendship based. Decisions can be taken together and there may be a lot of common friends from each side to hang out with. Spouses can understand each other’s psyche and point of view better in such marriages. In such marriages, spouses are able to cooperate with each other better and handle responsibilities of running the house equally. The compatibility quotient among same-age partners also may be high.

The third case scenario is where the wife is older to the husband, although, such marriages are rare even today, but most of them are successful. When a woman is older to a man in a relationship, she is able to handle the man sensitively and cleverly. Most of the time, the reigns and command of the marriage are in the wife’s hand and she pulls the strings effectively and efficiently to make the relationship work. In such relationships, the guy receives a lot of pampering and affection, and that makes him stick to his spouse for long. These women are sometimes called as cougar, but that’s a bad word to describe women. The best example for an older wife and younger husband is that of Anjali and Sachin Tendulkar. I think theirs is an almost perfect marriage. There are no hitches and Sachin and Anjali’s marriage seems to be going great guns even after so many years.

In spite of pros and cons in each category detailed above, differences do crop up between couples and divorces do happen. What works is the compatibility factor between the spouses and the levels to which they are willing to compromise and adjust to make the marriage work.

https://makeupandbeauty.com/age-difference-matter-relationship-marriage/
 
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krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
In most marriages , men would like to believe that they are bosses as they are brought up that way in paternalistic homes.Girl irrespective of age or economic status,

academic credentials get forced to play a second fiddle.Any girl who is forced to be that way cannot be a friend or imagine to have same wavelength in attitude or

thinking.

One cannot scientifically analyse grouping them age wise.

One lives with what one has chosen and tries to make the best of it.

Most are lucky if they get a few good years of living together harmoniously.

Afterwards they live under the same roof doing their own things.
 

Brahmanyan

Well-known member
Interesting subject to discuss. But biologically it does not make much difference, whether woman is older than man. Socially it affects the status of the children.
Brahmanyan
Bangalore.
 

tbs

Well-known member
hi

in history....many women married younger men....they are great leaders too....
 

Raji Ram

Gold Member
Gold Member
In most marriages , men would like to believe that they are bosses as they are brought up that way in paternalistic homes.Girl irrespective of age or economic status,

academic credentials get forced to play a second fiddle. ...........
Old story, Krish Sir! May be true in illiterate groups!

Most of the tambrahm girls are 'THE boss of the house'! :thumb:
 

Raji Ram

Gold Member
Gold Member
Interesting subject to discuss. But biologically it does not make much difference, whether woman is older than man. Socially it affects the status of the children. ..........
Dear Sir,

How does it affect the status of the children?

I saw a clipping, in a movie hall,
which shows Sachin having a merry time with his wife and kids. :)
 

renuka

Gold Member
Gold Member
Old story, Krish Sir! May be true in illiterate groups!

Most of the tambrahm girls are 'THE boss of the house'! :thumb:

Dear RR ji,

Its easier for the mind if the male is the King of the house and the female is the minister.

That way it works best.

I remember when my husbands side came to view me..that time I was working in an interior region where I was the head of the unit and other staff were support staff.

So my husband asked me "so do you like being in charge since you are the head of the unit?"

Now..I was thinking I have to answer this carefully cos I would not want to come across as dominant and want to be in charge.

So I replied "I wish there were others of my rank working with me so that I do not have to make all decisions but at the same time being the solo in charge exposes me to new situations and decision making"


I really played safe in the reply cos I feel a dominant woman is a turn off!LOL
 

renuka

Gold Member
Gold Member

You know RR ji...I have noted..Most dominant women lose their beauty very fast..they also age rapidly and become very masculine after they hit menopause.

Just see all the female politicians..does anyone look feminine?
They might have big breasts or wide hips but face look very masculine!LOL
 

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
If you understand chess, women behave like Horse [ called knight by some} in a chess board.

They move two steps forward and one step right or left.

They manoeuvre adroitly side stepping the male to always win.

Men try to move like the camel [Bishop] in one direction and get tripped by the horse.Lol

Even king can move only one step .The queen has her right of way and checkmate the rival king.
 

tbs

Well-known member
You know RR ji...I have noted..Most dominant women lose their beauty very fast..they also age rapidly and become very masculine after they hit menopause.

Just see all the female politicians..does anyone look feminine?
They might have big breasts or wide hips but face look very masculine!LOL

hi renu

really.....some are better looks....
 

renuka

Gold Member
Gold Member
If you understand chess, women behave like Horse [ called knight by some} in a chess board.

They move two steps forward and one step right or left.

They manoeuvre adroitly side stepping the male to always win.

Men try to move like the camel [Bishop] in one direction and get tripped by the horse.Lol

Even king can move only one step .The queen has her right of way and checkmate the rival king.



When I was young..I had a chess set that used to have faces painted on it.

I would create all sorts of scandalous situations by trying to link a queen with the opponent king or the knight etc.

Winning was never on my agenda.

I didnt like the idea of any Shah Dying(Shat Mat..Check Mate)
 
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