சில தர்மோபதேசங்கள்

[psnarasimhan]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp Email Share Link

சில தர்மோபதேசங்கள்

முன்னுரை :

நம் ஆசார்ய புருஷர்களால் ஸ்தாபிக்கப்பட்ட பல ஸ்தாபனங்களில் ஒரு ஸ்தாபன
மாதாந்திர ஆன்மிக பத்திரிகையில் ஒரு சுவாமி எழுதியுள்ள கட்டுரையின் கடைசி பாராவை அப்படியே தட்டச்சு செய்து உங்கள் முன் சமர்பபிக்கின்றேன் . இதை நன்றாக படித்து புரிய வேண்டியவர்களுக்கு புரிந்தால் சரி.

"தை மாதத்தில் பல பெற்றோர் எதிர்பார்ப்பது நம் குழ்ந்தைகளுக்கு விவாஹம் கை கூ டுமா என்று..அதிலும் தற்காலத்தில் ஆண்பிள்ளையை வைத்து இருப்பவர்களின் ஏக்கம் பெரிது . ஏக்கத்தில் உள்ளவர்களுக்கு பெருமாளிuன் அனுக்ரஹம் கிடைக்கட்டும்.நான் அடிக்கடி எழுதி வருவதை போல் பெண்ணை பெற்றோர் பையனின் குல கோத்ரத்தை பாருங்கள்.உயரம்,பருமன்,சம்பளம் இவைகளை பார்க்கவேண்டாம் .அதிலும் முக்யமாக வைதீக பிள்ளைகளை ஒதுக்காதீர்கள்.உயர்ந்த கம்பெனியில் உயர்ந்த சம்பளம் பெற்று பெண்ணை உயர்ந்த நிலையில் வைத்திருக்கும் மற்ற ஆண் பிள்ளைகளை விட வைதீக பிள்ளைகள் ஒரு படி அதிகமாகவே வைத்திருக்கக்கூடிய வருமானம் அவர்களுக்கு உள்ளது.சாதாரண பையன் ஹனிமூனுக்கு ட்ரெயினில் ஊட்டிக்குத்தான்
அழைத்து செல்வான்.இவன் ப்ளைட்டில் சிம்லாவிற்கு அழைத்து செல்வான். என்ன வித்தியாசம் .வைதீகனுக்கு தலையில் முடி.லௌகிகனுக்கு உதட்டில் முடி. ஆகவே வைதீகத்தை மதித்து நடப்போம்."

what you think about the above may kindly be posted in a
decent,polite,not offending anybody in their approach , language, after understanding the main point about the difference in income between an well paid professional and a purohit.

 

[tbs]

hi sir,

உங்கள் தர்மோபதேசம் கேக்க நன்னா இருக்கு...ஆனால் நிஜ வாழ்வில் கொஞ்சம் கஷ்டம்

தான்....பண மோஹம் இந்த காலத்தில் அதிகம்......பணம் பந்தியிலே ....குணம் குப்பையிலே ..

உங்க ஆதங்கம் புரியுது.....

 

[psnarasimhan]

Mr.tbs,
What I expected from you is that you must understand the present day's trend and nothing more.
Please also note that I do not have any AAthangam'.

 

[kunjuppu]

PSN,

dont you think what is happening re our attitudes towards vaidheehas, is a reflection of what has been our practice? how many of us truly respected our vathiars? to me, it was more the norm, that after having spent lakhs for weddings, we will grudge a few extra rupees for the sambavaNai. how many weddings have their been fights about this? may not be now, but definitely when i was young, 1950s through 80s.

even now, look at the complaints against the prices charged by the priests. including from yourself. as long as a community, we discount the services of the vaideeha, no father will be willing to give, and no girl willing to, marry the priest. no matter even if he charters a plane for honeymoon and takes her to switzerland. that is what i think.

our attitude towards businessmen have been the same. we never trust them. we think they are crooks. and we envy them.

our focus has always has been on desk jobs. managerial jobs. engineering jobs. and now I.T. jobs. even medicine and armed forces is discounted.

the jews hold their rabbi with utmost respect. to go through a rabbinical college, it takes hundreds of thousands of dolla. and the rabbis are well paid by their congregation. same goes for the roman church. the evangelists make millions by preaching the unpreachables. whereas our poor vadhiar, often, is a target of fun not only for the street urchins, but also for the teenagers of both sexes within our own family.

now do you wonder, why anyone should marry these guys?

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Sir, Though there are nice experinces with Vadhyars, in times of sudden death in a family, for funeral rights, there is no time left. Time will be running out. After great effort, you can find Vadhyar for other Vedhas but not for Samavedham. Finding a Vadhyar for Samavedham is nothing but a Kuthiraikombu. At that time, when all the members of the family were in deep sorrow, the Vadhayar will be behaving like a Shylock/villain and will be demanding exorbitant Sambhavani which will be certainly unreasonable and unfair. There is a word in English 'emphathy' and this will be missing in their deal. It would be nice if they behave with bit sense of emphathy at the hour of sorrow.OM SHANTHI SHANTHI SHANTHI

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

You said it right! The daughter of most of the vaidheekAs get the engineering degree and look for

well placed I T guys only. I think I wrote about one of my experiences, sometime back in forum.

One highly placed vAdhyAr sent his daughter's horoscope to me, when we were trying for a good match

for my son. When we hesitated to proceed, he got terribly annoyed! He told that he is known to every

brahmin in Mumbai and we should be proud to have him as sambandhi! I politely said 'no'.

So, when the vAdhyArs themselves hesitate to marry off their daughter to another affluent vAdhyAr,

what will others do?

 

[sangom]

PSN,

dont you think what is happening re our attitudes towards vaidheehas, is a reflection of what has been our practice? how many of us truly respected our vathiars? to me, it was more the norm, that after having spent lakhs for weddings, we will grudge a few extra rupees for the sambavaNai. how many weddings have their been fights about this? may not be now, but definitely when i was young, 1950s through 80s.

even now, look at the complaints against the prices charged by the priests. including from yourself. as long as a community, we discount the services of the vaideeha, no father will be willing to give, and no girl willing to, marry the priest. no matter even if he charters a plane for honeymoon and takes her to switzerland. that is what i think.

our attitude towards businessmen have been the same. we never trust them. we think they are crooks. and we envy them.

our focus has always has been on desk jobs. managerial jobs. engineering jobs. and now I.T. jobs. even medicine and armed forces is discounted.

the jews hold their rabbi with utmost respect. to go through a rabbinical college, it takes hundreds of thousands of dolla. and the rabbis are well paid by their congregation. same goes for the roman church. the evangelists make millions by preaching the unpreachables. whereas our poor vadhiar, often, is a target of fun not only for the street urchins, but also for the teenagers of both sexes within our own family.

now do you wonder, why anyone should marry these guys?

My dear Kunjuppu,

Can there be a just comparison between the rabbi & the roman catholic priest on the one hand our vAdhyArs on the other? The former I think caters to a whole population of jews and RCs without any restrictions about the sub-classes whereas, our brAhmin vAdhyars serve only the minuscule brAhmin community; again, the vadagalai & thenkalai iyengars will prefer a vAdhyAr from their own sub-sect, or a vaishnava vAdhyAr and will not engage a smArtha vAdhyAr, a sAmavEdi will have first preference for a sAmavedi vAdhyAr and only if such a person is NA, will a sAmavedi engage another, non-sAmavedi vAdhyAr (especially for SrAddhams). Hence when we refer to "vAdhyArs" we should bear in mind that they can at best serve only a very limited population.

On the flip side, we find that the vAdhyars reflect the general trends in the larger society and there are many vAdhyArs with "chinna veeDu", extra-marital affairs on the sly, (last saturday or so, the wife of a vaideekan died under suspicious circumstances and now it has become known that his illegal second wife has also beel living in the same house and both the vAdhyAr and this second, illegal wife had been threatening the first wife of dire consequences if she even uttered a word of disapproval!) drinking habit and even gambling habit (in lottery ticket purchase without limit and beyond their saving capacity, for example.) In such a situation, I feel the general reluctance to give one's daughter in marriage to a vaideekan is very much commensense.

Your views please.

 

[kunjuppu]

My dear Kunjuppu,

Can there be a just comparison between the rabbi & the roman catholic priest on the one hand our vAdhyArs on the other? The former I think caters to a whole population of jews and RCs without any restrictions about the sub-classes whereas, our brAhmin vAdhyars serve only the minuscule brAhmin community; again, the vadagalai & thenkalai iyengars will prefer a vAdhyAr from their own sub-sect, or a vaishnava vAdhyAr and will not engage a smArtha vAdhyAr, a sAmavEdi will have first preference for a sAmavedi vAdhyAr and only if such a person is NA, will a sAmavedi engage another, non-sAmavedi vAdhyAr (especially for SrAddhams). Hence when we refer to "vAdhyArs" we should bear in mind that they can at best serve only a very limited population.

On the flip side, we find that the vAdhyars reflect the general trends in the larger society and there are many vAdhyArs with "chinna veeDu", extra-marital affairs on the sly, (last saturday or so, the wife of a vaideekan died under suspicious circumstances and now it has become known that his illegal second wife has also beel living in the same house and both the vAdhyAr and this second, illegal wife had been threatening the first wife of dire consequences if she even uttered a word of disapproval!) drinking habit and even gambling habit (in lottery ticket purchase without limit and beyond their saving capacity, for example.) In such a situation, I feel the general reluctance to give one's daughter in marriage to a vaideekan is very much commensense.

Your views please.

sangom,

actually vadhyars are used by all. the sri lankan tamils use vathiar even for puberty celebrations. they come and do some pooja.

even though the focus on caste is deplorable, i find all castes use vadhiars for weddings if not for anything else. including the affluent dalits these days, which is a welcome sign, from point of inclusivity alone.

there are black sheep in any group. though rabbis may be more pure, the RC and protestant priesthood is rife with corruption. RC priests are more penchant to have a soft corner for little boys, as is evidenced by the numerous scandals plaguing western catholicism, and the effort of Rome to suppress it or bribe it off.

on the whole, i think, we should open up priesthood to all castes, and include them in our invite. and go for more group functions like avani avittam, where the priest can get little more money than from an individual grahastha.

the trouble is most of our important sentimental functions like amavasai or shradham is very oriented towards the family, though i think we could have group amavasai tharpanam. shraddham, we want the ceremony, satisfy the pithrus, and pay pittance to the vathyar. is that not our mentality, all along?

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

You said it right! The daughter of most of the vaidheekAs get the engineering degree and look for

well placed I T guys only. I think I wrote about one of my experiences, sometime back in forum.

One highly placed vAdhyAr sent his daughter's horoscope to me, when we were trying for a good match

for my son. When we hesitated to proceed, he got terribly annoyed! He told that he is known to every

brahmin in Mumbai and we should be proud to have him as sambandhi! I politely said 'no'.

So, when the vAdhyArs themselves hesitate to marry off their daughter to another affluent vAdhyAr,

what will others do?

dear raji,

please dont mistake me. and i dont mean to be rude.

but most of us dont want to have any sambandam with vathiars or cooks anyway. no wonder they get miffed, even when these are millionaires, and are shunned by the genteels.

n'est pas?

i am quite sure my mother was the same, when reviewing varans for me, 35 years ago ....

 

[zebra16]

dear raji,

please dont mistake me. and i dont mean to be rude.

but most of us dont want to have any sambandam with vathiars or cooks anyway. no wonder they get miffed, even when these are millionaires, and are shunned by the genteels.

n'est pas?

i am quite sure my mother was the same, when reviewing varans for me, 35 years ago ....

If one cannot give up the bias of just 35 years, then why advise the community to give up the supposed bias of more than 4000 years?

 

[Raji Ram]

........... the trouble is most of our important sentimental functions like amavasai or shradham is very oriented towards the family, though i think we could have group amavasai tharpanam. shraddham, we want the ceremony, satisfy the pithrus, and pay pittance to the vathyar. is that not our mentality, all along? ...

Now a days there ARE group 'amAvAsai tharpaNams' happening in many cities, Sir.

I think one of our members mentioned in another thread that group srAddhams are arranged in Mumbai.

 

[kunjuppu]

Now a days there ARE group 'amAvAsai tharpaNams' happening in many cities, Sir.

I think one of our members mentioned in another thread that group srAddhams are arranged in Mumbai.

dear raji,

i love the communal ceremonies anyday.


but group sradham? how's that? you mean sradham for all that falls on a particular day? or like avani avittam - everyone gathers and does sradham irrespective of the day? hmmmmmmm

 

[Raji Ram]

Sri. Sarang wrote:

There are institutional facilities available - sampradayic mutts or small temples, for the sraddam on individual or collective basis. In Ragavendra mutt, about ten to twelve do sraddam with individual sankalpam.
The charges were Rs 150 some years ago, now rising to 450.

I hope S. Chennai too has such facilities.

Ref: post #29 in தற்கால சமையல் கலைஞர்கள்

 

[Raji Ram]

I think Sarang Sir lives in Mumbai!

 

[kunjuppu]

Sri. Sarang wrote:

Ref: post #29 in தற்கால சமையல் கலைஞர்கள்

thank you good lady!

 

[psnarasimhan]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

You said it right! The daughter of most of the vaidheekAs get the engineering degree and look for

well placed I T guys only. I think I wrote about one of my experiences, sometime back in forum.

One highly placed vAdhyAr sent his daughter's horoscope to me, when we were trying for a good match

for my son. When we hesitated to proceed, he got terribly annoyed! He told that he is known to every

brahmin in Mumbai and we should be proud to have him as sambandhi! I politely said 'no'.

So, when the vAdhyArs themselves hesitate to marry off their daughter to another affluent vAdhyAr,

what will others do?

Dear Mrs.Rajiram,

We must be proud of our vAdhyArs, whose daughters get engineering degrees and look for IT guys
from elite families like yours. Why then you said NO ofcourse politely when an highly placed
vAdhyAr sent his daughter's horoscope to you for an alliance with your son. Did anybody inform
you that the same vAdhyAr refused to consider the horoscope of another reputed vAdhyAr's
son's horoscope.If that is the reason then what you said is 100% correct.

 

[psnarasimhan]

Dear Mr.Kunjuppu sir,

I also wonder how group srathams are now arranged in Mumbai when a number of srathams may fall on different thithis. Oh my God!! where are we heading? Let us find out from that genius 'one of our
members' where this group srAddhams are arranged in Mumbai,and how?

 

[sarang]

Right and wrong! I have three birth dates - one julian, one for school admission, and nakshtra day. Election commissioner Seshan to has more than one; he admitted in a recent speech in a management institute in delhi.

Living placea are also three, all in bharatavarsha; not in yavana lands!

I think Sarang Sir lives in Mumbai!

 

[Raji Ram]

I too have three birthdays every year viz. Official, Gregorian and Nakshathram!

When my siblings wish me on all days, I feel three years older! :dizzy:

P.S: One of my friends pointed out that we follow the Gregorian calender. Hence edited this post.

 

[Raji Ram]

............ Did anybody inform you that the same vAdhyAr refused to consider the horoscope of another reputed vAdhyAr's son's horoscope.If that is the reason then what you said is 100% correct.

Dear Sir,

We wanted our sambandhi mama to be an officer and hence I politely refused!

It might have been difficult for that renowned vAdhyAr to get an equally renowned vAdhyAr as his sambandhi!

Of course, I feel very happy when I hear that descendants of vAdhyArs become engineers! :thumb:

 

[sadasivam.sridharan]

The time is not very far off when the siblings of vadhyars will abdicate their family avocation and switch over head long into more glamorous professions like engineering,medicine,accountancy,law etc.People who still believe in our sastras will be forced to become self vadhyars.

 

[Raji Ram]

The time is not very far off when the siblings of vadhyars will abdicate their family avocation and switch over head long into more glamorous professions like engineering,medicine,accountancy,law etc.People who still believe in our sastras will be forced to become self vadhyars.

Dear Sir,

Already there are cassettes for performing amAvasai tharpaNam! Times are changing.

For last AvaNi avittam, Ram's brother had the ceremony at his son's house in Boston

and his son-in-law, read the manthrams over 'skype' from Detroit!! :thumb:

 

[tbs]

Dear Sir,

Already there are cassettes for performing amAvasai tharpaNam! Times are changing.

For last AvaNi avittam, Ram's brother had the ceremony at his son's house in Boston

and his son-in-law, read the manthrams over 'skype' from Detroit!! :thumb:

hi RR madam,
today i went to Philly...i saw an ad in bill board on the way....when DIY become an OMG.....sometimes it happens...

this is an ad for plumbing company.....

 

[psnarasimhan]

Mr.&Mrs.Sadasivam,Sridharan,RajiRam,tbs.

Ladies and gentlemen
There is no harm if we ourselves become self Vaadyars instead of depending on these,most, unscrupulous half backed,rote,gobbling or skipping 50% of the mantrams or hymns, vaadyars ,demanding exorbitant bahumaanam . We dont mind paying what they demand provided they conduct the rituals honestly, sincerely,and above all according to the saastram. It is for us to search for good books containing all mantrams or hymns with their meanings to be chanted on all occasions. This way we are sure to become more knowledgeable self vaadyars .

 

[Raji Ram]

........
today i went to Philly...i saw an ad in bill board on the way....when DIY become an OMG.....sometimes it happens...

this is an ad for plumbing company.....

My doctor dad used to say: 'Do it yourself and then come to me!' to the self medicating patients.