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Do you need Happiness and Peace?

sravna

Well-known member
Folks,

In the past i have been trying to write articles on self improvement but i have not been able to quite complete the. Now I planning a thread on the ways to be and stay happy and peaceful and hope to completely share my ideas. The insights are based on my experiences which I think will hold good for most of you also.

In my view happiness happens out of the following three factors:

i. One's health
ii. One's intelligence
iii. One's wealth

So if one is lacking in one of these, one's happiness comes down.

The good news is each of these factors can be enhanced and help one towards greater happiness.
 
Dear Sravna,
Please define happiness first and then proceed. What is happiness? Is it an esoteric feel good Ness or is it simply the absence of misery and discomfort? Please discuss this in detail first. Also if it is different thing for different people without a common denominator to relate to or a common yard stick to measure with it will be meaningless to discuss .
 
Your happiness also depends on how much happy you can make others. Trust me this is such a powerful way of creating happiness for self.
 
Dear Sravna,
Please define happiness first and then proceed. What is happiness? Is it an esoteric feel good Ness or is it simply the absence of misery and discomfort? Please discuss this in detail first. Also if it is different thing for different people without a common denominator to relate to or a common yard stick to measure with it will be meaningless to discuss .
Dear Shri Vaagmi,

I define happiness as a positive feeling that happens when one is not in misery or discomfort physically or mentally and when one's righteous desires are satisfied. By righteous desires I mean desires that are not harmful to others. So it is beyond being just the absence of misery and discomfort.
 
One should strive to see the same positive feeling in others as one tries to see in self. Only then happiness is complete.
 
Let me focus first on using one's intelligence towards happiness. I believe that a way of expressing intelligence is goodness. Goodness is a vastly underrated trait. It may not be difficult to be good but to be unconditionally good requires extraordinary intelligence. If there is one single most important trait that one would want to develop in their quest for happiness , it is unconditional goodness.
 
If you are able to display unconditional goodness you also possess the necessary defence to protect yourself from harm. How do you develop the quality of unconditional goodness?
 
The first thing in cultivating unconditional reactions is to work on conventional thinking.
 
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Conventional reaction is typically based on focus on self and that others have an angle when interacting with us
 
The focus may well be on self and others may well have an angle but the trick is not to be restricted by that thinking but try to expand on it and make it part of a greater thinking.
 
one has to practice the technique of seeing beyond others outer reactions. That immensely helps in forming the right perspective and giving unconditionality to our responses.
 
My wife may be extremely angry at me and shout at me for something I did. If maybe I am able to see through her anger, I might see she just wanted me to be correct in my behaviour. It is just that she is not able to accept that I do something wrong. So if I am somehow able to understand that and react in the right way, I am not being affected by her outer action but able to see through it and respond appropriately.
 
On thee contrary my adversary may not able to take if I react correctly and hence may unleash his actions on me. If again I am able to see through his outer reaction, I will not be affected by his actions and hence respond appropriately. In either case I am not being affected by actions of others and hence the reaction is unconditional
 
The real challenges are to control ones negative reaction at the instant of others action and to not harbor negativity for long.
 
Remember typically people do not respond negatively with you when you are wrong unless they are your near and dear ones who will be typically negative with you when you are wrong and vice versa regarding positive actions from others
 
Your happiness also depends on how much happy you can make others. Trust me this is such a powerful way of creating happiness for self.
happiness is also the opposite of sadness.
It comes due to 3 things मन the mind, तन the body and धन the money.
our sufferings are due to mind, pains to body and money problems.
all human beings suffer one or all three
 
My wife may be extremely angry at me and shout at me for something I did. If maybe I am able to see through her anger, I might see she just wanted me to be correct in my behaviour. It is just that she is not able to accept that I do something wrong. So if I am somehow able to understand that and react in the right way, I am not being affected by her outer action but able to see through it and respond appropriately.

Thats why polygamy helps...if one wife is angry till she cools down one can be with the other wife...dont worry be happy!
 
Thats why polygamy helps...if one wife is angry till she cools down one can be with the other wife...dont worry be happy!

Will the first wife ever cool down if I am with the second wife? You are giving suggestions for more trouble
 
Dear Sravna,

What you are speaking about is a science already studied well, codified, opened up and very much in use by individuals in private life as well as in business where human resources are to be managed for productivity.

In Behavioural science we call it Transaction analysis or simply TA.

Please go through a good book on TA and you will get a valuable perception of the subject.

I have been immensely benefited by knowing the subject.

Try it. Best wishes.
 
Dear Sravna,

What you are speaking about is a science already studied well, codified, opened up and very much in use by individuals in private life as well as in business where human resources are to be managed for productivity.


In Behavioural science we call it Transaction analysis or simply TA.

Please go through a good book on TA and you will get a valuable perception of the subject.

I have been immensely benefited by knowing the subject.

Try it. Best wishes.

Sure Shri Vaagmi, I will.
 
Sorry folks for the hiatus. I was talking about displaying unconditional goodness for being happy and that one should see through the outer reactions of others for it. Seeing through the outer reactions can be real fun too. If you reach a stage where you see through the outer reactions of others, you actually have developed a mature thinking yourself.
 
Sorry folks for the hiatus. I was talking about displaying unconditional goodness for being happy and that one should see through the outer reactions of others for it. Seeing through the outer reactions can be real fun too. If you reach a stage where you see through the outer reactions of others, you actually have developed a mature thinking yourself.


Why would I want to focus on the reaction of others? Be it outer or inner or central.

A mature person would surely know that action and reaction of everyone differs and we should not judge them for their choices as long it is not causing harm to others and self.

As a human surely actions and reactions of others can affect us but if we step aside and observe why we get affected its clear becos we want a "say" in everything another does.

Everyone of us wants to "dominate" in some way or the other..though not actively or passively but in a way of being connected.


Since I teach Sanskrit too now...I have come across many "spiritual" people who approach me to learn.

A good number try to market their brand of spirituality to me..ranging from Yantra to Tantra to Mantra to Kundalini to Bhakti to Bhava or Psychosis.

At times it can get a tad bit irritating too cos everyone wants to sell their wares.

Then I felt "hey why not just look at them as business men/women and learn their marketing skills?"

So I listen and listen to them and let them feel happy that they get someone to whom they can preach but I just listen and nothing more and I gain some marketing skills insight.

I wont say I am a mature..its just that I see it as a transaction.
 
Dear Renuka,

The idea is really to not focus on others actions so that your reaction will be ideal. Trust me it is the greatest way to peace and happiness though very difficult to put into practice. One has to work really hard but it is more than worth that effort if one is able to pull it off. I will talk about my insights on how to make it happen.
 
Dear Renuka,

The idea is really to not focus on others actions so that your reaction will be ideal. Trust me it is the greatest way to peace and happiness though very difficult to put into practice. One has to work really hard but it is more than worth that effort if one is able to pull it off. I will talk about my insights on how to make it happen.


Dear Sravna,

I do not strive to be happy or sad but I accept that both happiness and sorrow are experiences we face.

I am calling both happiness and sorrow "experiences" and both can be intrinsic and extrinsic and inevitable in existence.

Peace too is an experience and just as every experience everything is subject to change...finally one just has to surrender.

I am starting to feel that Advaita could be a source of depression!LOL

It does make sense at a intellectual level but at a human level at times it doesnt confer some amount of "surrender feeling" that is offered by Dualistic Ideology.

Life is much easier and simple if one could surrender and stop analyzing everything in life to a detail that finally leads to nothing.

I am not saying I have ditched analysis..I am still very much a logician at intellectual level but at the level of my heart...I have stopped analyzing and surrender would be the best experience.

So believe me Sravna...its best we leave analyzing for the intellect but let it not overrule our heart.
 

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