prasad1
Active member
It was an ordinary day off. She promised she would be back at the crack of dawn to make some pizza for the children’s school lunchboxes. But she didn’t return. My calls to her went unanswered till she finally picked up hours later sobbing and barely coherent. She had been beaten up mercilessly till she fell unconscious — she has no idea for how long. The rest of what she wanted to say was dis-connected mid-sentence.
My cook had gone to meet her husband. As she said, she was relaxing, watching a drama series on her phone when her husband lost his cool and beat her black and blue. The provocation: a lazily asked question on why he drinks.
We sent help but she refused to leave, saying she would be thrashed even more if he saw her leaving with strangers. There is no love here, only fear and necessity. The police, she said, was out of the question, as it would bring a bad name to her family.
More than the harshness of this incident is the frustration of knowing that this is far from being an isolated incident. On the contrary, my cook mirrors countless other women across the country whose spirits are repeatedly put to the test and their bodies constantly violated; yet they remain a part of this misogynist cycle, more often than not, voluntarily.
Women like my cook do not want to escape; their conditioning doesn’t allow them any change. In their quest to just not get beaten up every day, they would probably laugh at concepts like feminism. Those are not choices these women have. In fact, having any choice for them is a luxury.
In our emphasis on Beti bachao, beti padhao, there is a generation of women everyone forgot. They are someone’s wife and, although may not be young, they are also someone’s daughter. They are battered, they are bruised and they are killing themselves.
A recent Lancet study should have the alarm bells ringing. Indian women account for about 40 per cent of suicides by women globally between the ages of 15-39. What is even more damning is that most of these victims are married.
The author of the Lancet Paper, professor Rakhi Dandona, says financial hardships and marital pressure are some of the prime causes for the condition these women find themselves in. It fits in perfectly with my cook and thousands of women in her situation who work hard to save money, which is either blown up by their drunk husbands or confiscated by aggressive men.
They say it takes a village, but we haven’t even started because what these women suffer is not even recognised as a problem. Our society has turned a blind eye and that is what gives men like my cook’s husband the audacity to take her to a doctor to treat her wounds after beating her as though it’s his right. There is no remorse — it’s all in a day’s work.
Will my cook’s scars heal?
For now, it’s a baby step that she has agreed to meet women rights activists and understand her rights.
She may choose to not do much about them, but it’s a start.
https://www.dailyo.in/variety/domes...ughable-idea-to-many-women/story/1/26831.html
India has made advances in all spheres but NOT fast enough.
My cook had gone to meet her husband. As she said, she was relaxing, watching a drama series on her phone when her husband lost his cool and beat her black and blue. The provocation: a lazily asked question on why he drinks.
We sent help but she refused to leave, saying she would be thrashed even more if he saw her leaving with strangers. There is no love here, only fear and necessity. The police, she said, was out of the question, as it would bring a bad name to her family.
More than the harshness of this incident is the frustration of knowing that this is far from being an isolated incident. On the contrary, my cook mirrors countless other women across the country whose spirits are repeatedly put to the test and their bodies constantly violated; yet they remain a part of this misogynist cycle, more often than not, voluntarily.
Women like my cook do not want to escape; their conditioning doesn’t allow them any change. In their quest to just not get beaten up every day, they would probably laugh at concepts like feminism. Those are not choices these women have. In fact, having any choice for them is a luxury.
In our emphasis on Beti bachao, beti padhao, there is a generation of women everyone forgot. They are someone’s wife and, although may not be young, they are also someone’s daughter. They are battered, they are bruised and they are killing themselves.
A recent Lancet study should have the alarm bells ringing. Indian women account for about 40 per cent of suicides by women globally between the ages of 15-39. What is even more damning is that most of these victims are married.
The author of the Lancet Paper, professor Rakhi Dandona, says financial hardships and marital pressure are some of the prime causes for the condition these women find themselves in. It fits in perfectly with my cook and thousands of women in her situation who work hard to save money, which is either blown up by their drunk husbands or confiscated by aggressive men.
They say it takes a village, but we haven’t even started because what these women suffer is not even recognised as a problem. Our society has turned a blind eye and that is what gives men like my cook’s husband the audacity to take her to a doctor to treat her wounds after beating her as though it’s his right. There is no remorse — it’s all in a day’s work.
Will my cook’s scars heal?
For now, it’s a baby step that she has agreed to meet women rights activists and understand her rights.
She may choose to not do much about them, but it’s a start.
https://www.dailyo.in/variety/domes...ughable-idea-to-many-women/story/1/26831.html
India has made advances in all spheres but NOT fast enough.
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