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Win by being winsome, capture by being captivating

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sravna

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Humans have this trait of wanting to be in control over everything. But sadly they do not do this in the right way. They control by forcefully controlling others. The ideal way is to develop self control which will automatically lead to others being drawn to you.

For several history has been guiding them and has made people believe that only force can accomplish things. I believe that history is not a wrong teacher but a slow and sure teacher. It will not be long before people realize their follies of being attracted to force and begin to believe in benevolent ways.

One should understand it is easy to be forceful or nasty but takes a lot of conscious and sub conscious effort to be good to others in an enduring way. It is more demanding than even winning a nobel prize. Let us understand that a lot of thinking and understanding goes into controlling self and try to cultivate that as a habit.
 
Humans have this trait of wanting to be in control over everything. But sadly they do not do this in the right way. They control by forcefully controlling others. The ideal way is to develop self control which will automatically lead to others being drawn to you.

For several history has been guiding them and has made people believe that only force can accomplish things. I believe that history is not a wrong teacher but a slow and sure teacher. It will not be long before people realize their follies of being attracted to force and begin to believe in benevolent ways.

One should understand it is easy to be forceful or nasty but takes a lot of conscious and sub conscious effort to be good to others in an enduring way. It is more demanding than even winning a nobel prize. Let us understand that a lot of thinking and understanding goes into controlling self and try to cultivate that as a habit.

Good topic Sravnaji! The real problem is ability to influence others...If one is able to capture the hearts and minds, then one is able to lead...Unfortunately most of us lack in this trait..So we use power to meet our objectives!!
 
Good topic Sravnaji! The real problem is ability to influence others...If one is able to capture the hearts and minds, then one is able to lead...Unfortunately most of us lack in this trait..So we use power to meet our objectives!!

Thank you sir
 
Sravna...being captivating or winsome is just another form of being forceful but in a manner where the victim does not even realize they are being held captive.

At least a forceful person makes his intention known and we can avoid him or her if we want but the smooth talking captivating charming one can delude others all for their quest to be in control.

These types invade the minds of others...The Devil is always a gentleman.
 
Dear Renuka,

I am not talking of smooth talkers who have ulterior intentions but about people who are genuinely concerned about others. With a little effort one can differentiate between the two. You only benefit from the latter.
 
Dear Renuka,

I am not talking of smooth talkers who have ulterior intentions but about people who are genuinely concerned about others. With a little effort one can differentiate between the two. You only benefit from the latter.

Dear Sravna...even those who want to help are subconciously wanting to be " in charge" to exert control.

There is a phenomenon called Energy Vampirism.
These types seek to drain off energy from others by luring them into a web of co dependence purely to feed themselves on energy of others.

These types whither when they get no attention..they have very unbalanced energy levels and need to get a " victim" in order to survive.

Just imagine a Vampire..Count Drac..he needs blood to survive..he would be totally enchanting and charming till he bites your neck and transforms you into a vampire too.

An Energy Vampire will want to seek attention sometimes by using their beauty or even a very refined intellect to asert influence to suck energy to stabilize themselves.

Some of us do not even realize we are energy vampires.
Most cults are started by Energy Vampires and can totally influence minds of others...that is the true benefit they really seek...some are even philantrophists.
 
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How do you influence teenage children and even adult children without being manipulative?

I think "manipulative" is a wrong word to use. What you do for the good of children is not manipulative but done with higher good in mind. Lord Krishna was not manipulative in the true sense of the word but had higher dharma in mind.
 
Dear Sravna...even those who want to help are subconciously wanting to be " in charge" to exert control.

There is a phenomenon called Energy Vampirism.
These types seek to drain off energy from others by luring them into a web of co dependence purely to feed themselves on energy of others.

These types whither when they get no attention..they have very unbalanced energy levels and need to get a " victim" in order to survive.

Just imagine a Vampire..Count Drac..he needs blood to survive..he would be totally enchanting and charming till he bites your neck and transforms you into a vampire too.

An Energy Vampire will want to seek attention sometimes by using their beauty or even a very refined intellect to asert influence to suck energy to stabilize themselves.

Some of us do not even realize we are energy vampires.
Most cults are started by Energy Vampires and can totally influence minds of others...that is the true benefit they really seek...some are even philantrophists.

Personally speaking I think I am concerned about the welfare of others and that concern seems spontaneous. I do not plan what to say, what to expect or how to behave, to influence others. I take this spontaneity as an indicator that one is being genuine and has no malafide or ulterior intentions.
 
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Personally speaking I think I am concerned about the welfare of others and that concern seems spontaneous. I do not plan what to say, what to expect or how to behave, to influence others. I take this spontaneity as an indicator that one is being genuine and has no malafide or ulterior intentions.

But can you try projecting yourself sans spiritual powers etc...without dragging attention to your physical attributes of reverse aging or even your noble intentions?

Can you try just being a "commoner"?

Believe me..all humans seek some form of attention..good or bad..helping or harming..both are for the sake of attention.

Even in Forum you can read many saying that in.the past their ancestors were respected becos of ideals and values and speak of a lost glory...everyone is seeking some glorification.

Why?
Cos the human wants validation..recognition..wants attention.
No one just wants to be just part and parcel of the atmosphere..
Reason?
Cos no one wants to be insignificant.

The fact is we are all insignificant but just dont want to admit it.
 
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But can you try projecting yourself sans spiritual powers etc...without dragging attention to your physical attributes of reverse aging or even your noble intentions?

Can you try just being a "commoner"?

Believe me..all humans seek some form of attention..good or bad..helping or harming..both are for the sake of attention.

Even in Forum you can read many saying that in.the past their ancestors were respected becos of ideals and values and speak of a lost glory...everyone is seeking some glorification.

Why?
Cos the human wants validation..recognition..wants attention.
No one just wants to be just part and parcel of the atmosphere..
Reason?
Cos no one wants to be insignificant.

The fact is we are all insignificant but just dont want to admit it.

Dear Renuka,

You are mistaken. One has to just experience the egoless state to understand. Otherwise it is very easy to attribute motives and intentions to what we do. Wanting attention is not the real nature of humans. Just because most of us lack in something or have an excess of something we try to balance it through external reality. If one is self sufficient, I am sure seeking attention is not at all in one's mind.
 
Dear Renuka,

You are mistaken. One has to just experience the egoless state to understand. Otherwise it is very easy to attribute motives and intentions to what we do. Wanting attention is not the real nature of humans. Just because most of us lack in something or have an excess of something we try to balance it through external reality. If one is self sufficient, I am sure seeking attention is not at all in one's mind.


Egoless sans body state is only found in the morgue cos no dead man says " I am Dead".

Even in Aham Brahmaasmi..there is still utterance of Aham.

I dont think an egoless state can exists.
No one can speak without addressing themselves in 1st person singular.
 
Renuka,

One would be definitely using the word "I" to talk of self. That does not mean he has ego. The acid test for an egoless state is not in not saying I but whether a person would balance interests of self and others perfectly.
 
Renuka,

One would be definitely using the word "I" to talk of self. That does not mean he has ego. The acid test for an egoless state is not in not saying I but whether a person would balance interests of self and others perfectly.


Sravna...even in the quest for helping others..its almost always for self.

Can you just imagine if you are not in charge and just tag along sans projecting about your spiritual powers?

You cant...in fact you started a new thread about yourself.


In chit chat it was about your biceps..abds..V cut waist..youthful looks....tell me seriously...how does that balance out for interest of others.


Vanity is fine...I am vain too...but I dont call my vanity spirituality.
 
Renuka,

Self and others are merged into one at the highest level of reality. That is the basis of my assertion that the interest of others should be at par with self. Others are, in reality, your own projections. We do not see that at the level of physical reality and identify only with physical self. One needs a much more accommodating outlook.
 
Renuka,

Self and others are merged into one at the highest level of reality. That is the basis of my assertion that the interest of others should be at par with self. Others are, in reality, your own projections. We do not see that at the level of physical reality and identify only with physical self. One needs a much more accommodating outlook.

Denial is thy name.
 
Denial is thy name.

Even assuming I am projecting my ego which I dont deny and is something which I am working on, I believe that a perfectly egoless state is possible based on my very own experience
 
Even assuming I am projecting my ego which I dont deny and is something which I am working on, I believe that a perfectly egoless state is possible based on my very own experience

Sorry Mr Sravana. Have to agree with Renuka Madam here.
When you speak about your egoless state and experience - that is your (bloated and confused) ego talking.

If you are egoless truly you will become silent and stop going out of your way to talk about yourselves. Your interaction will be only for getting food, water and shelter. If you help no one will know including your ego. I know no one like that and neither do you

This forum is only about clash of egos - let us not kid ourselves (and I am including myself as an ego here too).

There are some egos here that have to comment on every post, some want to boast about their knowledge of something, scriptures, or talk about other people's ego (all the time).

If you helped anyone dont ever talk about it and dont trumpet here.

I know I may have made you angry with these comments, sorry for that.
 
Sorry Mr Sravana. Have to agree with Renuka Madam here.
When you speak about your egoless state and experience - that is your (bloated and confused) ego talking.

If you are egoless truly you will become silent and stop going out of your way to talk about yourselves. Your interaction will be only for getting food, water and shelter. If you help no one will know including your ego. I know no one like that and neither do you

This forum is only about clash of egos - let us not kid ourselves (and I am including myself as an ego here too).

There are some egos here that have to comment on every post, some want to boast about their knowledge of something, scriptures, or talk about other people's ego (all the time).


I know I may have made you angry with these comments, sorry for that.
Dear Shri a-TB,

I am not saying that I am without ego now but only saying that egoless state is possible and have myself experienced it transiently a few times. I am sure as you say I would not bother to trumpet anything in that state. The frequency, duration of the ideal is on the increase.
 
Dear Shri a-TB,

I am not saying that I am without ego now but only saying that egoless state is possible and have myself experienced it transiently a few times. I am sure as you say I would not bother to trumpet anything in that state. The frequency, duration of the ideal is on the increase.

Mr Sravana, I think you are not getting the point.
If you were in egoless 'state' you will not know it. For you to say you were in egoless state your ego was very much present. Hope you "perceive" this like a member here would say.

Also each and everyone of us have experienced this egoless state - I do that most nights when I sleep even if I am told I am snoring LOL
Those that have dementia (serious cases), those that are unconscious are all in egoless states.

Any other 'experience' is a delusion requiring medical attention, I am afraid
 
Dear Shri a-TB,

There is nothing like personal experience. If you have experienced the egoless state good for you. I do not want to ruffle feathers by talking about my experiences. My objective in talking about my experiences is to share something which I thought would be enlightening.
 
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