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English vinglish

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Notice in a Hotel in Uttarkhand on the Highway:

It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing, please not to read this notice.

Notice in an Elevator:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During the time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In the Hotel Lobby:

1. Please leave your values at the front desk.

2. Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours 9 and 11 daily.

3. You are adviced to take advantage of the chamber maid whenever needed.

At a Laundry in Chandigarh:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

At a hotel in Chorwad - the birth place of Ambanis:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of opposite sex in the rooms, it is requested that the lobby be used for the purpose.

In a heritage Hotel in Junagadh in Gujarat:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.

In a resort in the Rann of Kutch, Gujarat.:

Would you like to ride on your own ass? Come to us we have the best.

In a Baruch Hotel, Gujarat:

The manager has personally passed all the water served here. Enjoy.
 
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