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Child rearing!

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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Active member
This is a topic of real concern.

When we were kids, our parents taught us to give respect to our elders and not to speak ill of them. We were trained

to prostrated before the elders and to seek their blessings, on special days. The kids who found fault with others were

referred to as 'pinchula pazhuththadhu'!


On Sundays, I see a kids show on a TV channel. Some kids are really very arrogant and tell the anchor of the show,

'nee oru dummy piece', 'unakku oNNumE theriyAdhu', 'nee karuppA irukka' etc. And, the parents attending the show

clap their hands in merriment and the anchor person has to grin and bear it! At times, I feel like slapping the parents

who enjoy their arrogance.


Is it not the duty of the parents to rear their children as well mannered citizens?
moody.png
 
True RR ji..many parents never check their children ..not only these days but even before there were always parents who never checked their childrens behavior.

I deal with Kutti Shatans quite often who run around and even break things,kick doors..scream the roof down and parents never say a word.

Some are downright rude and parents do not care.

I once had a parent who told me that her son thinks I am creepy and this parent is a teacher.

I told her directly "your son is entitled to his opinion cos he is a child and he spoke from his heart due to innocence but I am surprised that you are actually conveying it to me cos as a adult we do have restrain as what to tell and what not to tell"
 
Luckily we are already grown up.{some might doubt our mental age}.

Now with some getting tough here , We should look for place to hide and avoid a confrontation.
 
Some parent encourage their children to do the 'kuththAttam' as seen in the movies, which have very vulgar movements.

These children will never know that those movements are NOT in good taste!
 
30 years ago, when we were building our temple, here in USA. I used to be very passionate and involved in our center. The kids of my friends particularly boys used to be boisterous, the girls would be well behaved. I would stops the boys from Running and hanging from the drapes. The parents would be there and not disciplining their kids. It is a shame. At one time one of the friend came and told me not to discipline his kids. Fortunately there were other parents who supported me, and told that parent to take their kids out of temple till they can behave properly.

Yes there is lack of parenting skills.
 
Dear Prasad Sir,

If this happened 30 years back, I can imagine the situation now.

My son narrated a funny incident. When he went shopping with his newly weded wife, a kid was throwing tantrum near them

and they started looking for his parents. An old lady came and told them, 'Why don't you stop looking around and mind your kid!'

for which they politely replied, 'Ma'am, we can't because het is NOT our kid!' :)
 
krish44 said:
Luckily we are already grown up.{some might doubt our mental age}.

Now with some getting tough here , We should look for place to hide and avoid a confrontation.
Click to expand...


The very much senior ones also throw tantrums and behave like kids.

Senility and infancy are polar opposites yet they share the same axis in terms of behavior.

The older they get the more attention they need..Baby Oldies!LOL

So I guess the should be another thread..Bringing up Oldies!
 
renuka said:
The very much senior ones also throw tantrums and behave like kids.

Senility and infancy are polar opposites yet they share the same axis in terms of behavior.

The older they get the more attention they need..Baby Oldies!LOL

So I guess the should be another thread..Bringing up Oldies!
Click to expand...
Most seniors are only putting on an act to please youngsters.

They can very well flex their muscles [they might look weak. They pack a good punch and can knock out many} .

Actually many would like to attract younger persons{I am not specifying gender as some will be outraged}

You know many women have a hang up about seniors[Electra complex?]
 
I heard a senior say this:

Children are like balloons. If you hold them too tight, they will burst; if you hold them too light, they will fly away!
It is a good point to ponder! :decision:
 
Well, R R ji,

I understand your OP is possibily inspired by the program Kutty Chutties in Sun TV. I think the media tend to promote such things in their programmes with an intention to draw wider audience and a healthy TRP. Yes such programmes put a bad impact on our children who tend to belive it as an act to have acceptence among people. Many cartoon programmes are also there which glorify minor misbehaves by children to create a lighter moment in thier episode. I think that's why parental guidance is necessary for children while they watch programmes like this.

Apart from that I think present day children don't have that much tolerence level we used to have in our child hood. Children used to learn much while playing because many of their innovative ideas comes up while playing. The toys which they are getting access to now a days are highly sophisticated that they need to put very little efforts of their own. That makes them accomstued to comforts and prevents them from taking extra efforts. In my openion, it is one of the major factor affecting the mind development of today's children. And ofcourse many toys (mainly computer games and videos )are also prone to promote violent habits among children. I think today's children really miss the comfort of the good fairy tales of their Grannies.
 
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Dear Ganesh Sir,

You guessed it right! I feel really bad when children are applauded when they talk ill of others, especially the elders.

Children are very smart now a days and have lot of exposure than we had in our childhood days. We were happy playing with

inexpensive toys like marbles, shells and games like ludo / snake and ladders. I saw a game chute and ladders instead of snake

and ladders in the U S of A and the reason given sounded funny to me! It seems the children will be scared if swallowed by a

snake, to come down and hence the parachute! In most of the video games, shooting at others gets points and no one is bothered

about sowing the venom of violence in children! They are worried about snake bites only!

Children will tend to be selfish and the parents have to teach them to share with others. In one of our relatives house, the kids will

distribute plates of snacks to their guests, before they take their own plate of snacks. It is really a good idea.

In our village, in N B families, kids will be addressed in plural (vAnga; pOnga) and they will also talk like their elders.

Somehow, we tambrahms feel closeness ONLY when addressed in singular! :D
 
In our village, in N B families, kids will be addressed in plural (vAnga; pOnga) and they will also talk like their elders.

Somehow, we tambrahms feel closeness ONLY when addressed in singular!
Click to expand...

Yes I have also noticed, that's a good habit to promote sense of respect among children. As you said we TBs feel the closeness only if addressed in singular; is it really so?. Does this closeness really stay long or does it 'closes' everything else in a matter of some time - time to think...
 
Dear Ganesh Sir,

Some tambrahm girls even say 'vAdA', 'pOdA' to husband and declare that they are very very close!! :lol:
 
In USA everyone calls others by their first name.
So it was a shock to us when my daughter's American friend (7 years old) called us by our first name. Where as her PIO children will add uncle, or auntie to our name.
I do not think any insult was intended.
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Ganesh Sir,

Some tambrahm girls even say 'vAdA', 'pOdA' to husband and declare that they are very very close!! :lol:
Click to expand...

In my house my parents call my brothers by name but for me my father adds the word Ma behind my name..so I am called Renu Ma at home.
 
prasad1 said:
In USA everyone calls others by their first name.
So it was a shock to us when my daughter's American friend (7 years old) called us by our first name. Where as her PIO children will add uncle, or auntie to our name.
I do not think any insult was intended.
Click to expand...

I thought its usually by surname unless people are close enough.
 
The way our names are framed with initials, we get addressed with our fathers name abroad as we add it as surname in passport etc.

In fact I have my grandfathers name in passport and pension account as surname.

Many times I do not respond to my name when addressed abroad,

Many domestics from south give their name as Ramaswamy since they fear trouble in places of work. This name gives them anonymity.and safety.


Locals would like to call them Mundu.
 
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Dear Prasad Sir,

My d i l called one octogenarian gentleman 'John'! When he left, I asked her why she did not call him 'uncle'.

She said he likes to be called John and not uncle! :D
 
renuka said:
In my house my parents call my brothers by name but for me my father adds the word Ma behind my name..so I am called Renu Ma at home.
Click to expand...
Dear Renu,

I think most of the parents add 'ma' behind their daughter's name.

Daughters are pampered more, I think! :thumb:
 
All nannies [ Grandmother and grandmothers in waiting] are lamenting about child rearing and blaming the media, parents or teachers.

Most think of good old times when children were spanked , older men had ears pulled by women in private.
 
Dear Krish Sir,

Child rearing was NOT such a big deal in olden days - more than four decades back. The kids were happy with inexpensive toys,

which were in hundreds. Now they need their own I pad or 'tablet' to play with. I found this in the U S of A but now it spreads in

India too. In a train journey, a kid (about 2 years) was fed by his mother, by distracting him with a Tamil nursery rhymes. I was

sad and happy. Sad because the kid never knew what went inside his stomach; happy because the rhymes were in Tamil. :)
 
Rajiramji

Now parents give their mobiles to children for playing.

They press buttons and enjoy the glowing lights.

There are dummy mobiles also for kids.

We got only house hold utensils and spoons as toys.lol
 
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