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Changing Mindsets of indian seniors and youngsters

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krish44

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There has been a perceptible change in mindsets of seniors and youth in last few years.

Most families are becoming dysfunctional.

I met three seniors -men in sixties on verge of retirement.

One would like to retire to himalayas -leaving his wife and grown up son.Son would like to leave the country at the earliest and not return if possible.Wife does

not know what to do?

Second ,an old lady in seventies from a very rich aristocratic family. Her husband when he was seventy left her to settle in tiruvannamalai . he was an

industrialist. He got his daughter married to his faithful brahmin employee and making him look after his wife also. He died a few years back.

In many cases, it is the senior men who become deserters and quoting scriptures[Vanaprastha -for the traditional kind] run away from wives.

Similarly , Many high performing young IT/MBA types who have amassed wealth are tired of making money . They have made enough money to last several lifetimes from

modest starts.They have become drop outs giving up their jobs. They are burnt out and looking for avenues for escape.I met some on pilgrimage cycle. They

are looking for causes for supporting. Many have experimented with more than one woman.They have got in and out of relationships.One was asking me what

cause to support.

More and more families are fragmenting. Many women who hold families together [most women have a control mindset] are helpless coping with the changing

mindset of close ones -husband and children. They too are helpless finding a crumbling world around them and no one to hold on to.These try to find meaning

by supporting NGOs for all odd causes and try for company of anyone who have a kind word to say to them.Some join orders like Brahmakumari or frequent forums

floated by swamis for the affluents

Very few seniors [married] hang together at the mental level even if they live under the same roof.I suppose these are products of arranged marriages of old

days. Lol. Very duty bound they carry on with a show of stability projecting an image of the happiest couple.

I suppose it is finally a lonely journey for all -young or not so young.
 
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Just give oldies a shot of hormone replacement therapy..they would head to Kajuraho instead of Himalayas.

Its high time celibacy is not glorified!



This is where we Hindus lose out.

Muslims dont practice celibacy and upon death tbey get virgins in heaven.

We Hindus..dont make use of our ammunition and hormones and upon death no promise of virgins in Indra Loka.

So Mamas..stop running to Himalayas...get a hormone profile done or log in to Dr Jed Diamond's website for male menopause and life tips for the aging male.

I like that website..he wants females to understand the aging males psychology and help marriages..slighty chavanistic at times but good info.

So even if you are nearing 90 yrs of age..Ma Suchah.
Have Gun Will Travel.
.
 
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Women require to be more pragmatic like renukaji who has advised women to hit the nail on the bald head of senior husbands who are trying to run away from it all.

Muslim live on the promise of virgins waiting for them in heaven and make do with what is available on earth .

Hindus fed on the diet of renunciation stop thinking of hormones and wait for sivaloka prapthi in strange locations which they consider holy.

We can train women counsellors on how to impart knowledge on male menopause-I thought many youngsters are in that state in pressured life more than oldies- to

one and all without discrimination.Of course senior citizen require senior citizen discount [for which they will produce Aadhar card given senior friendly govt.]

By the way who is Jed Diamond ?. we can make indian clones of that fellow and some with our caste mark impart the same knowledge quoting from scriptures and

justifying actions to be performed.
 
renuka said:
Muslims dont practice celibacy and upon death tbey get virgins in heaven.
Click to expand...

If we are going to get only virgins in heaven it is not the best. Very bad indeed that after all that toiling on earth you reach a place where there are kaththukutties to serve you. LOL.
 
All these running to Himalayas syndrome is nothing but sub clinical depression.

We should try to understand that the present day husband is reduced to an under appreciated sperm donor.

Women empowerment has dethroned the male from his Alpha status..he is emasculated by women empowerment but yet women play a sly game.

With all the talk about empowerment they still expect a husband to take full financial responsibility.

Is this fair to the male ?

No ..its not.

So why wont he feel like running away to Himalayas.
Hindu wives as they age neglect sexual aspect of married life..so depression sets in for males.

Then they want to run..run to Himalayas.
Unused weapons do not function as well..its disuse atrophy..like a paralyzed limb wastes away and becomes dysfunctional.

Unable to bear all these the aging male becomes grouchy and ill tempered.

This is all treatable if we ditch celibacy and learn to reconnect with our Kundalinis.

There is no Spiritual Energy greater than Kundalini.

It has to be entwined with its other half to do the Tandava.

Himalaya is within us..dance away the Tandava..bring about the Power!
 
The kind of people I am coming across both young and old have no money issues -they have surplus of it.

Youngsters who have earned crores and do not know what to do with the excess and do not find love in relationship.

Seniors who have nothing to look forward to and are tired of day to day living . They think getting away from it all in himalayas or some such place would be a better

proposition.

Senior Women suddenly realising they cannot hold on to anyone -husband or children and becoming mentally sick and feel their life has been foolishly sacrificed in

serving their husband and children who have stopped reciprocating.

When people feel cheated at the fag end of life, it can be a shock for many.

Who should perform tandava-man or woman.?
 
We as Indians can look down on others (say Americans). The 50% of American weddings end in divorce. Average American has a psychiatric counselor. May even have a family counselor.

But the American are a lot more open about their problems. If they are unhappy they find a way. We, on the other hand, pretend for the sake of society, family, or self.

In the end turn out to be even more depressed.
 
Openness and indians? Lol.

Those who openly confess their problems are treated with contempt and disdain.

Anyone going to a counselor is treated as a mental case.

Women confide in old pattis who provide native wisdom on how to cope.

Senior men are left alone and continue to act nutty .My neighbour a senior citizen unable to come to terms with wife a control freak and children who believe in high

living simply vanished from home . When more sanity returned, he rang up from haridwar and returned . He behaved as if nothing had happened and continued living.

Youngsters depend on friends for advise and also go to forums like quora or facebook to get advise on how to cope.

Family bonds have loosened with money coming in for all families. Most fulfill their aspirations with credit cards if not earned money.

Now it is only each one does his own thing.
 
krish44 said:
Openness and indians? Lol.

Those who openly confess their problems are treated with contempt and disdain.

Anyone going to a counselor is treated as a mental case.

Women confide in old pattis who provide native wisdom on how to cope.

Senior men are left alone and continue to act nutty .My neighbour a senior citizen unable to come to terms with wife a control freak and children who believe in high

living simply vanished from home . When more sanity returned, he rang up from haridwar and returned . He behaved as if nothing had happened and continued living.

Youngsters depend on friends for advise and also go to forums like quora or facebook to get advise on how to cope.

Family bonds have loosened with money coming in for all families. Most fulfill their aspirations with credit cards if not earned money.

Now it is only each one does his own thing.
Click to expand...

May be Natamais could help!LOL
 
India is a place where you are made to feel guilty for being well off.

If someone flaunts money and lives life big being a fashionista, have sport car, found in company of girls and is a party animal , all would combine and fix him.

Mallya is a classic example.

There are more than 200 people in india with huge unaccounted income contributing to NPA and no one talks of them.

For good living it is essential to keep a low profile and be mafia like using sign language.

Similarly be a low profile couple young or old and live wisely avoiding the places all frequent.

One can live in a private world of ones own with large families bonding with each other tightly and presenting a united front.

Have numbers and win
 
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krish44 said:
Mallya is a classic example.
Click to expand...


He took shelter at London and joined the list of controversial Indian who find Britain a safer place, than their Home Country.

As nineteenth century reformer Samuel Smiles called London “the world’s asylum, the refuge of the persecuted of all lands”.

He is a classic example

Agitated Kingfisher employees write 'open letter' to Vijay Mallya, accuse him of damaging India's image.

The issue of non-payment of salary to staff of the long-defunct Kingfisher Airlines came back to haunt its chairman Vijay Mallya again with the employees, in an open letter, accusing him of damaging the image of the country, particularly the aviation industry.

The letter, which comes days after the beleaguered industrialist said that the "only regret" he has was that the carrier is not flying when the oil price has dipped so low, also accused him of having "blood"-stained hands.

The wife of a then Kingfisher airlines employee in Delhi had allegedly committed suicide, apparently depressed over financial stress due to non-payment of salary to her husband on October 4, 2012, when Mallya decided to ground the airline due to paucity of funds.

"We have been under continuous pain and agony due to your apathy towards us. However, it was particularly aggravated by your recent callous 'NO REGRET" remark about KFA. For us, KFA still exists as we are still on the payrolls although without pay as we never received any communication from you, after you promised revival, about the shutdown of the company and our fate," the employees said in the letter.

"I have no regrets as such. Perhaps the only regret is that Kingfisher Airlines is not flying today when the oil price is so low," Mallya had said recently without expressing any remorse over non-payment of salary to hundreds of his airlines employees.

"We are still not able to understand what you meant when you said I don't have money to pay your salaries while the spree continues, let it be Caribbean Premier League or luxurious yatch," the letter said.

Mallya, widely known as the 'King of Good Times' in his heydays, had to quit recently as Chairman of United Spirits - a company founded by his family in which he sold majority stake to UK-based liquor giant Diageo.

As part of the deal that also ended a year-long boardroom battle at United Spirits, Diageo has agreed to pay Mallya $75 million.

Once billed as the most luxurious airline, Kingfisher had to be grounded in October 2012 after it landed in a major financial crisis with huge loans and payment defaults including to oil companies and airports.

Alleging that Mallya was able go away scot free "due to the depressing fact that the whole rotten system abets people like you", the employees said "we don't know whether it's your influence in media houses or it's their callous approach towards common man that most of them chose to ignore you and paid attention to make a hero out of a person who is out on bail, portraying him as the ultimate victim and hero." "As you don't have regrets, it's also important to highlight how much damage you have caused to the image of our country, particularly aviation industry. Because of you, upcoming airlines are finding it difficult to get aircraft on lease from leasing companies," it said.

Read more at: http://www.dnaindia.com/money/repor...-accuse-him-of-damaging-india-s-image-2185937


 
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Guys, if you look at it rather analytically sans emotions, existence is itself a rather depressing thing. Every passing day is a step closer to our expiry date. So I guess depression is but a natural state of mind?
 
auh said:
Guys, if you look at it rather analytically sans emotions, existence is itself a rather depressing thing. Every passing day is a step closer to our expiry date. So I guess depression is but a natural state of mind?
Click to expand...


I am a realist, my wife says I may even be a pessimist. She is an overtly very optimist.

I do not believe I am a pessimist, but I expect the worst, so I can be positively surprised. I look forward to every day and invest in that day. Fortunately, we have no money worries. Health is manageable. I am ready for the end date, but live happily till that happens.

Krishji you wrote:
India is a place where you are made to feel guilty
Click to expand...

It is even more among Tamil Brahmins. I have Indian friends from other parts of the country, they seem to enjoy life.
 
<removed>. Please stick to the topic. If you cannot, refrain from posting in the thread.
 
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Dear Sir,

When a thread is about Indians we can compare and contrast any community from Kashmir to KanyaKumari.

Prasadji has made a comparison of TBs and others here cos surely one logically compares anything with his own community.

When one interacts with people from different religions and different communities...subconsciously one compares and contrasts with their own community.

Its normal to do so.
 
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Every thread in TB site is about Tamil Brahmins. The TB perspective is there even in Jokes and Humer.
If you want this site about one individual, they should buy their own site.
 
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renuka said:
Dear Sir,

When a thread is about Indians we can compare and contrast any community from Kashmir to KanyaKumari.

Prasadji has made a comparison of TBs and others here cos surely one logically compares anything with his own community.

When one interact with people from different religions and different communities...subconsciously one compares and contrasts with their own community.



Its normal to do so.
Click to expand...


Thank you. As I did not see the original post (ignore list).
 
renuka said:
......... When a thread is about Indians we can compare and contrast any community from Kashmir to KanyaKumari.

Prasadji has made a comparison of TBs and others here cos surely one logically compares anything with his own community.

When one interacts with people from different religions and different communities...subconsciously one compares and contrasts with their own community.

Its normal to do so.
Click to expand...
Agreed, Renu! :)
 
Rudhran said:
Doctor Mam,

I agree the thread is about Indians.

But this thread has just opened yesterday with hardly only 10+ postings, I cannot find any justification to go in dept dragging, caste, sub castes, etc.

I think going deeper into the subject logically comparing TBs here is nothing but the reflection of mindset of this Senior Citizen who is an NRI.

My request was to stick to topic more particularly Indian Seniors and if anyone tries to go in depth, then we have to necessarily discuss about all Indians viz North Indians, Kashmir Indians and Non-Resident Indians, and so on and forth.

And I am ready for that and relish it more.

But certainly not going to take the thread to its desired destination.
Click to expand...

Dear Sir,

Indian seniors is a broad classification...it would surely include TBs too.

Mindset of anyone is never fixed cos the human mind is fickle...it keeps changing its perception from time to time and not to mention the possibility of evolving or devolving or shifting moods or going totally insane.

I cant help quoting Jalaluddin Rumi here ..he said "Whoever's calm and sensible is insane"
 
Dear Sir,

There is no injustice in this situation..I only see hypersensitive emotions.

We Hindus are known for our logical mindset..we do not get all worked up and run amok at the drop of a hat.

When one is sure of themselves they do not even fear the enemy.

Only one who is unsure of himself/herself reacts to each and every threat as if its the end of the world.
 
Many due to marginalisation in states where they live look for threats even in innocent statements.

Years of isolation and being put in a corner makes them hyper sensitive .

They do not see reason or logic.

All are enemies unless proven otherwise.

Nothing can be done with this.

Renuka ,ignore and move on.

Unless clinically you can treat this .
 
krish44 said:
......... Very few seniors [married] hang together at the mental level even if they live under the same roof.I suppose these are products of

arranged marriages of old days. Lol. Very duty bound they carry on with a show of stability projecting an image of the happiest couple.

I suppose it is finally a lonely journey for all -young or not so young.
Click to expand...
Dear Krish Sir,

In olden days, there were many children in each house and many were joint families. By the time children are married and

settled, the parents will be nearing SathAbhishEkam! But now, one are two kids in each nuclear family; supporting the kids

is over, when the parents are in late 50s. Most of the intelligent children go abroad for studies in their early 20s and parents

have to find their own hobbies to keep themselves busy, when they retire. Some go for baby sitting willingly. So, where is the

need to be unhappy? Happiness is within ourselves and it does NOT require the couple to have the same wave length of

thoughts or same liking. In fact, one musician at her marriageable age insisted that her husband should NOT be a musician! :D

BTW, even those who married after lovvu, have different past times, when they become senior citizens. :cool:
 
French candidate for presidency Le Pen at the age of 18 years fell in love with his teacher incharge of drama and theatre. She is 25 years older than him. At that time she

was married already. After several years she separated from her husband and in 2007 married Le Pen who waited for her. She is going to be the first lady of france in

case he wins. He is 39 years.

At mental level they bond.lol.Without mental bonding how can people survive?. With divergent mindsets it can be very difficult.

Perhaps one can withdraw within oneself and carry on putting up a show and say we are a happy couple.
 
I feel we humans are not wired to mentally bond with only one person.

After a while we will get bored of even James Bond and will want to bond mentally with another person.

The wise bond well with all in an mental harem..we clearly are not monogamous mentally at least.
 
krish44 said:
French candidate for presidency Le Pen at the age of 18 years fell in love with his teacher incharge of drama and theatre. She is 25 years older than him. At that time she

was married already. After several years she separated from her husband and in 2007 married Le Pen who waited for her. She is going to be the first lady of france in

case he wins. He is 39 years.

At mental level they bond.lol.Without mental bonding how can people survive?. With divergent mindsets it can be very difficult.

Perhaps one can withdraw within oneself and carry on putting up a show and say we are a happy couple.
Click to expand...

May be he is an incarnation of Pradyumna and his wife is Mayawati.

Pradyumna son of Krishna was brought up by Mayawati and she later left her husband and married him.

Mayawati was way older than Pradyumna.
 
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