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Auspicious Time for marriage

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Friends,

I have planned to conduct the marriage of my daughter in June 2017.
Her Nakshatra is Ayilyam (Kataka Rasi, Kousika Gothram)
Groom's Nakshatra is Magam (Simha Rasi, Kashyapa Gothram)
I am well aware that their jathakams do not match.
However, they wish to get married and the parents of both parties have agreed, putting the entire resposibilty on Sri Venkateswaran, as it seems to be HIS wish.

I am unable to decide a suitable date and Shub Muhurat time for the wedding in June 2017.
The most convenient dates for everybody are June 26th and June 30th.

Can anybody help me.

Sincerely,

Ramabhadran.
 
sir,Namskaram. My problem is the same as that of Ramabhadran.Our is a very unique case.My MIL never informed she was married to a variyar and bluffed he was a tamil brahmin and due to circumstances we are married and she used her gotram kaushikam for every occassion.Now we came to know that my late FIL is kaundinya(if variyar had a gothram..becos his elder brothers son got his daughter married in that gothram)I have decided to adopt the same or my daughter.In my case since i am an iyer and we have followed the same all along we have decided to conduct the marriage in iyer system.The boy is Naidu community.Their horoscopes do not match.She is krithigai 3rd padam and rishabha rasi ad the boy is uthiram and kanya rasi.Their wavelengths and feelings match and after lot of opposition we have given up.The date is fixed for 19th june 2017 kataka lagnam 9 to 10 am by our shastry.Request you all to bless them as i am sentimental and worried.We need to perform my FIL ceremony as per variyar type on 24th march 2017 at pampady near pallakad even though my husband being eldest son could not cremate the body nor have a glimpse of him also.My MIl staying with my BIL has never come to our house in the year from my FIL death till now.Can she come with the marriage preparations going on now.Please inform
 
Dear Sri Ramabadran

Understand your dilemma. Agree that the horoscopes do not match, as even the nakshathrams do not correspond.

Of the two dates Monday 26 and Friday 30 June 2017, the former is certainly preferable.

The thithi, thritheeya, on Monday is auspicious for marriages, whereas the thithi, sapthami, on Friday is not.

For the girl's nakshathram Monday is auspicious as it has chiththa yogam, whereas Friday has marana yogam.

Please note that on Monday 26 June 2017, raahu kaalam is from 7.30 am to 9.00 am, and yama kandam from 10.30 am to 12 noon. On Friday 30 June 2017, raahu kaalam is from10.30 1m to 12 noon, and yama kandam from 3.00 to 4.30 pm.

So the muhoortham (for saptha-padi) should preferably be between 9.00 am and 10.30 am on Monday 26 June 2017. (Tying the thaali is not part and parcel of the Vedic ceremonies; bridegroom chanting manthrams beginning (vishve devaa yajamaanascha see datha | ekameeshe vishnusthvaa anve thu......." is).

It would be advisable to have performed a mahaa-ganapathi homam or a navagraha homam on evening of Sunday 25 June 2017, to avoid any adverse consequences to the couple and to the family. If possible, please get four Veda-Braahmanas to chant udakashaanthi before muhoortham on the wedding day, and also perform nandee shobhana aaradhana on the same day.

Whether, as father of the bride, you want to do 1008 gaayathri japam on the three days preceding the wedding, is a matter for your consideration and action.

Poorna aasheerrvaathams to the couple, and to yourself and your dharma-pathni.

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
Madam Mala Ashok raises an all-too-common situation, based on "All is fair in love and war", "Love is blind", 'Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments", "Love overcomes all", and similar admonitions through the centuries.

Facts are facts, and cannot be denied. The "animal attraction" between a young woman and a young man in their prime of life can well be attributed to the surge of hormones, to the natural mating instincts of the human adolescent and of the human adult, the irresistible infatuation of a healthy maturing adult with another similar adult in close proximity, to the sense of urgency imparted by a secret and anti-mainstream liaison, even to the temptation to extra-marital involvement.

Do principles apply here? Do laws and rules of proper conduct for humans apply here? Are all born equal, mate equal, and die equal? Are principles, laws, rules mere obstructions in the way of human desire? Should the human spirit be totally free to choose the path living humans wish to follow. Are constraints of society outmoded, impractical, cruel, restrictive, even oppressive to the free soul?

Should not each child, on attaining adulthood (or even before then, on achieving puberty), be released from all bonds, and be at full liberty to pursue its own inclinations, interests, desires, goals, ambitions, whimsicalities, ends, notwithstanding (or in defiance of) all community mores?

The loquacious theoretical freedom fighter will certainly say so.

Looking around, Brahmin girls marrying Brahmin boys seems to be the rare exception, rather than the normal case.

A close friend of mine, whose father was a principal of a Sanskrit school, sent his only child, a daughter, for university education to France. There, she met and quickly married a white Christian, and produced a child within a year of marriage. In the free and easy pattern of Western life, the husband met a white girl, made her pregnant, and brought her home. The marriage broke up, and daughter and her child returned home.

Another friend, qualified in Madras as a medical doctor, and working as a noted anaesthetist in a major hospital overseas, sent his daughter to Virginia, USA for post-graduate studies. She met a Dutch citizen, a black negro native-cultist from North Africa, underwent a registry marriage, and disappeared into Holland. Curiously, after her well-insured father died, leaving a sizeable fortune and a bungalow, she came home to take her mother to live with her in Holland (and be fulltime unpaid maid looking after her three black daughters).

A third man, a far relative, sent his daughter to Northern Ireland for MSc in Pharmacy. There she fell for a Chinese Christian "businessman", much older and with no post-school education. She registered her civil marriage, and returned with him to his home country of Singapore. Both the girl's family and the man's family rejected the couple. They tried living together in a small luxury flat near the seaside (bought in joint names but paid for by her), but the union broke up a few months later due to incompatibility. They had no children.

The orthodox view of all this would contradict the modern trend.

If one consults the "Manu-smruthi", the classical text on the subject, one would find in Chapter 10, under the heading "Prathiloma-jaathi", in slokam 12, the authoritative pronouncement:-

shoodraadaayogavaha kshaththaa chandaalaschaadhamo nrunaam
vaishya-raajanya vipraasu jaayanthe varnasangaraaha

Meaning, inter alia -- the child born of a shoodran and a Braahmana woman is lowest among humankind, and is called "chandaala". Such births (born our of men of lower varnam uniting with women of higher varnam) are "varna-sanggaram" (meaning a misfortune, a calamity).

Applying the smruthi to the given facts, Madam Mala Ashok's husband is (forgive me for the application) a chandaala. So is her daughter, despite the fact that she herself belongs to the Braahmana varna. The intended groom is a Naidu, of the Shudra varna.

THERE ARE NO VEDIC OR SHAASTHRIC RITUALS (that I know of) FOR A CHANDAALA MARRYING A SHUDRA.

It might well be that, in these Kali Yuga days, unprincipled (or uneducated) shaasthrigals, eager to make a quick buck (or quick rupee), might concoct some mumbo-jumbo mumblings and gestures, and then say the couple are married. I have witnessed such puzzling performances, even in normally respectable temples.

But when I try to query the officiating shaasthrigals after the event, they just shrug their shoulders, pocket the fat fees and generous gifts, such as silver thattu-thaambaalams, silver chombus, silver pancha-paathrfa-uddaranis, pattu veshtis, dakshinai and so on, and claim they were only carrying out the "yajamaanan" 's wishes. No discussion about the propriety or even appropriateness of the rites just concluded. "Avar kitte kelungo" is the stock response.

These folks in kudumi even "marry" local girls (for a fat fee) to visiting white tourists.

"Request you all to bless them (Naidu boy and her daughter in their forthcoming union on 24 March 2017) as i am sentimental and worried," says Madam Mala Ashok. The event took place three days ago at "pampady near palakkad".

Sorry, couldn't do that. Was attending Veda class, refining study of Ashvamedham and other subjects with other mature pupils.

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
Dear S N Sir,

Since you family members have been sticking to old tradition, you may find it difficult to digest what the sAsthrigLs are doing now!

When a tambrahm girl married an American guy of her choice, there were more than a dozen sAsthrigaLs on stage, for the nAndhi

ceremony! Each of them got fabulous gifts in silver, silk and money pouch! That American had all our ceremonies - nAmakaraNam,

annaprAsanam and upanayanam, before Vratham, on the day prior to the wedding! He was named Shankar Sharma! :thumb:

In all the wedding in which our Ambis choose an IC / IR bride, the bride is clad in beautiful madisAr saree and transfers into a

brahmin mAmi, on her wedding day! One Thai girl became Srividhya, after her wedding with one Ambi. That is life! :)

A tambrahm lady married a Nair guy in early 70s and was searching for a brahmin groom for her daughter, in late 90s!
 
Dear Smt. Mala,

Everything is fair in love and war! Once you have shown the 'green flag' for the wedding, there is NO point in searching for the

match of horoscopes. Leave everything to the Almighty and proceed with the wedding, as per your 'Aththu' vAdhyAr's advice!

Reg. your M I L's visit to your house, it is only up to you to decide. You can't confuse between being 'modern' to accept the I C

wedding in your family and being traditional in NOT allowing your MIL inside your house for one year! Take it easy, mAm! :)
 
not suitable. both vadhu and varan must have thaara palam. on 30th for groom no thara palam.

Thanks to Gopalan Sir for his timely help to our forum members!

This thread got a bit deviated after Smt. Mala's post. That happens in many threads! :)
 
Both boy and girl are human beings first of different genders of course.

If they marry because they like each other and want our blessings, we are morally obliged to do the same as we belong to species of humans they also belong.

Denying the same citing someone is a chandala or shudra shows a mindset which I cannot appreciate.

At least , one should feel honoured that someone is asking for blessings.

My blessings to children of smt Mala Ashok and sri ramabhadran who are getting married.
 
Dear Smt. Mala,

If the First anniversary for your F I L is over three days back, there should not be any issue in welcoming your M I L

to your house. Even traditional people do that.
 
..... At least , one should feel honoured that someone is asking for blessings.

My blessings to children of smt Mala Ashok and sri ramabhadran who are getting married.
:thumb: (100 now) Krish Sir!
I agree with you. We members should bless both the to-be-married couples!
cheer2.gif
 
thanks for your timely advise.Mr.S N sir got confused between my daughters marriage date which is scheduled for 19th june in kataka lagnam from 9 to 10 in brahmin wedding style.I was inquiring before going to pampadi for my FIL's year ceremony on 24th march.Anyway i finished that successfully and am free to proceed with my daughters marriage to be held after 2 mnths
 
hi

just info.....VARIER/VASRASIYAR ARE THE BY PRODUCT OF TAMIL BRAHNINS.....means...in palakkad area....a variyer is ambalavaasi...

they are children of tamil brahmin with nair/namboothiri mother......so they have brahmin blood....only variers allowed to

stay in palakkad gramam....our neibhor in palakkad was varier family....i met a varier family.....their grand parents were

palakkad gramam.....a close relative of my maternal grandfather....
 
I fully appreciate Veteran Raji Ram's comments. They are certainly appropriate to today's apparently topsy-turvy world where those who are tasked to uphold the shaasthrams are the first to break them for greed of lucre. That certainly is "life" to some. There is no need for me to "stomach" these ultra-modern (revolutionary?) practices.

As I wrote earlier:-

"It might well be that, in these Kali Yuga days, unprincipled (or uneducated) shaasthrigals, eager to make a quick buck (or quick rupee), might concoct some mumbo-jumbo mumblings and gestures, and then say the couple are married. I have witnessed such puzzling performances, even in normally respectable temples.

"But when I try to query the officiating shaasthrigals after the event, they just shrug their shoulders, pocket the fat fees and generous gifts, such as silver thattu-thaambaalams, silver chombus, silver pancha-paathrfa-uddaranis, pattu veshtis, dakshinai and so on, and claim they were only carrying out the 'yajamaanan' 's wishes. No discussion about the propriety or even appropriateness of the rites just concluded. 'Avar kitte kelungo' is the stock response.

"These folks in kudumi even 'marry' local girls (for a fat fee) to visiting white tourists."

Would the next step in this "progressive" and "permissive" Hindu/Brahmin be unprincipled shaasthrigals "marrying" men to men and women to women? Or, more progressively, humans to animals such as dogs, horses, ad infinitum?

What is equally relevant to today's "life" is that it is the registration of the union at the humble non-Brahmin civil servant's office that is valid in law -- not what cavorting happens on the decorated marriage "stage" in front of the shaasthrigals enjoying gifts and food in naandee ceremonies.

Under English common law, if a couple (one male, the other female) have cohabited for seven years, they are said to have contracted a "common-law marriage". No doiubt, money-mad shaasthrigals would gladly perform jaatha-karmam, naama-karanam, anna-praashanam, aayushya-homam, chowlam, upanayanam etc for children of such couples EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT BRAHMINS, aachaarya dakshinai and daanam being more important than Manu-smruthi principles?

"Love" is probably one of the most misused words, after "God".

Sure, "this" is life.

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat has announced his intention to support inter caste marriages.

I do not know if he seriously means it.
 
RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat has announced his intention to support inter caste marriages.

I do not know if he seriously means it.
I think we can discuss in a new thread in Chit Chat.

Answer to the Q in OP is already given and there is no need to grow this thread! :)
 
sir,Namskaram. My problem is the same as that of Ramabhadran.Our is a very unique case.My MIL never informed she was married to a variyar and bluffed he was a tamil brahmin and due to circumstances we are married and she used her gotram kaushikam for every occassion.Now we came to know that my late FIL is kaundinya(if variyar had a gothram..becos his elder brothers son got his daughter married in that gothram)I have decided to adopt the same or my daughter.In my case since i am an iyer and we have followed the same all along we have decided to conduct the marriage in iyer system.The boy is Naidu community.Their horoscopes do not match.She is krithigai 3rd padam and rishabha rasi ad the boy is uthiram and kanya rasi.Their wavelengths and feelings match and after lot of opposition we have given up.The date is fixed for 19th june 2017 kataka lagnam 9 to 10 am by our shastry.Request you all to bless them as i am sentimental and worried.We need to perform my FIL ceremony as per variyar type on 24th march 2017 at pampady near pallakad even though my husband being eldest son could not cremate the body nor have a glimpse of him also.My MIl staying with my BIL has never come to our house in the year from my FIL death till now.Can she come with the marriage preparations going on now.Please inform

Smt Mala Ashok,

Our unconditional blessings to your daughter and her husband-to-be.

Everything will work out fine. It is fine to look for alliance within your traditions. Here your daughter has found someone she wants to get married to. Please bless her wholeheartedly.

Please invite you MIL and treat her with kindness and respect .
 
Dear fellow-Brahmins

Was intrigued by response of Veteran "tbs".

For info: In our graamam in Palghat we have also come across Vaariers. (They are allowed to visit, but they do not stay there.) They ARE NOT Brahmins. They are shoodraas -- born to shoodra women. They might be born to Brahmin, kshathriya, or vaishya fathers. Nevertheless all of them take the varna of their birth mother, NOT their birth father.

Double-check with Manu-smruthi, if you wish. Or with any other authoritative text.

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
hi

just info.....VARIER/VASRASIYAR ARE THE BY PRODUCT OF TAMIL BRAHNINS.....means...in palakkad area....a variyer is ambalavaasi...

they are children of tamil brahmin with nair/namboothiri mother......so they have brahmin blood....only variers allowed to

stay in palakkad gramam....our neibhor in palakkad was varier family....i met a varier family.....their grand parents were

palakkad gramam.....a close relative of my maternal grandfather....

hi

i dont know ...why i got thumps down for this....generally i dont care much about this thumps up/down...i got thumps in another

today....i never believe in this thumps up/down...i dont care much....i generally never give thumps up/down....if i like...

i write my words..if i dont like any thread/topic... i keep quiet....its ok...
 
i thank one and all for showering the blessings on the couple.It is always blessings of elders which make anyone grow prosperously in life.i have helped so many people in my nature of job just with the intention of helping as it is in my nature which is why the happiness in their heart and satisfied smile on their lips and throwing the weight of burden they carried while coming and returning happily has helped my daughter get a good family.It is nothing i owe to except the Almighty and blessings of elders.may it stay with my children always.Thank you all and here is wishing Mr.ramabhadrans daughter also a very happy married life.
 
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