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  1. #1
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    Wedding with a Difference


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    I just received a Wedding Invite from one of my Ex colleagues for his daughter's wedding to be celebrated at Bangalore next week.I was pleasantly surprised to see Radha Kalyanam as part of the Program schedule.After Poorvangam "Radha Kalyanam" is being arranged in the same wedding hall for three hours before lunch, a day prior to Muhurtham.I felt it is a good move worthy of emulation.Anyway lakhs are being spent on weddings and this could help the Bhagavathar community also.May be it is already happening but for me it is a new experience.
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    sabesan,

    both my niece's weddings had the afternoon fill with religious discourses.

    the older one, five years ago, had a discourse of ideal vedic samskara. it took about a couple of hours, but the discourse was top notch.

    the diskhithar, aware of the post lunch soporofic, went out of his way to hold the audience attention. he was a star performer, spicing his discourse with humour mixed with wisdom.

    just a month ago, there was another discourse. due to ailments, i did not attend. this dikshithar started off his lecture, with the warning that full attention was expected for the welfare of the soul.

    also he made it very clear, that NO ONE will be permitted to leave the hall, for fear of damnation.

    the audience reacted by falling asleep soon, much to the chagrin of the dikshithar and also the host.

    i say, customer service is the key to the success of any venture.

    the second dikshithar was arrogant and felt he knew everything.

    the first, treated this venture as a service and won.

    i am all for a useful pastime in the lay period between lunch and reception. but let us do it wisely and not demean ourselves by demanding an adherence to faith based initiatives.

    thank yo.
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  4. #3
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    Thanks Mr Kunjuppu.your point well taken.My feeling was that the money will be better spent than on Film Musis Orchestra and other ostentations.But we should take care of other aspects as you have rightly mentioned.
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  6. #4
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    I think Narayanaswami sir is right.

    In my cosuin's marriage, we had a "sadhas", which went on very well. Many clarified their doubts on sastras. In some other marriage, they had lalitha sahsranama parayana. My mom's cousin's elder daughter marriage happened last year. They too celebrated that with radha kalyana. They perform radha kalyana every year at mayiladuthurai. Instead of spending many to music troops, we have an alternate na... We should encourage this culture atleast.
    Kann Kalikkumpadi kandukonden Kadambadaviyil
    pann kalikkum kural veenaiyum kaiyum payodharamum
    mann kalikkum pachai vannamum aghi mathangar kula
    penngalil thondria emperumaatithan perazhage

    (Abirami Andhadhi)
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    sabesan,

    just to be on the same level.

    i am talking about the wedding afternoon, immediately after nalangu. this is a time for folks to take a nap

    re evening reception, in the past year i attended two chennai weddings - with bombay jayashree & sudha raghunathan respectively.

    it reminded me of a kalyan kutcheri 1969 or so, when the kalyana kutchery was performed by the great MS herself. sad to say, there were just a handful of devoted rasikas enjoying the music.

    the rest were busy catching up on news, lining up in que to greet the bride/groom or rushing to the dining hall.

    the recent jayashree & sudha kutcheris were no different.

    again, 5 years ago, for the evening, they had light music. the music was latest pop hits with classicals thrown in for a good measure. not that many listened, but there was no regret of huge amount of money wasted. compared to what sudha or jayashree charge these days.
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    Dear Sirs,
    Divine chantings arranging prior to Muhurtham, before kasi yathra etc.,
    if the marriage timing is around 0900-1000 A.M fetches a good
    response and so also for the Sasthirgals's chanting of Manthras
    if we arrange a better mike system the hall shall have Vedic
    atmosphere also. For my two daughter's marriage I arranged
    a group of old people from Nanganallur who are regular in chanting
    Vishnu Sahasranamam and Rudram to perform before muhurtham .
    Every one enjoyed the atmosphere , all the elders remained during
    the entire marriage function and blessed the couple and left.

    But we have to satisfy all interests for which light music without
    much noise is welcome since the marriage is to be celebrated with
    all interests fulfilled . There are now music parties with old film
    music without much drums to perform for this type of arrangements.
    It is happy get together . Divinity with enjoyment for the youth
    also has to be there.

    For all, one thing has to be sure , you must respect the people
    whom we are inviting and entertain them .
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    As long as one can afford the expenses no doubt Radha Kalyanam or veda Chanting or any other religious activities is better option than spending on film Music Orchestra or other types of modern entertainments.This subject is very apt for a Patti Mandram debate!
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    It all boils down to how much can one spend for a wedding.Nowadyas to that you must think about the availability of the Mandapam.
    My personal view is that if some one starts a new feature like radhakalyanam etc then some more follow.But what about the plight of those who canot afford.Once the practice comes into being the grooms people will want the brides people to arrange for that and it will be more expense to thew brides side
    I am just giving an example a few families importe mehendhi and now it is a part of our wedding.Is this warranted.
    PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NOT AGAINST RADHA KALYANAM OR SAAS etc. BUT WHAT I MEAN TO IMPRESS IS THE EXPENSE INVOLVED IN THE PRESENT DAY
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  16. #9
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    Radha Kalyanam,Veda Parayanam or even recorded good instrumental music is ok especially when the muhurtham happens to be early in the morning say before 8AM.This will keep the guests engaged till the lunch gets ready which is normally around 11AM.This is a good opportune moment for having the above programme during wedding rather than having it during reception when the guests are in a hurry to wish the newly weds,have dinner and push off.
    S.Sridharan
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  18. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by pbkhema View Post
    It all boils down to how much can one spend for a wedding.Nowadyas to that you must think about the availability of the Mandapam.
    My personal view is that if some one starts a new feature like radhakalyanam etc then some more follow.But what about the plight of those who canot afford.Once the practice comes into being the grooms people will want the brides people to arrange for that and it will be more expense to thew brides side
    I am just giving an example a few families importe mehendhi and now it is a part of our wedding.Is this warranted.
    PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NOT AGAINST RADHA KALYANAM OR SAAS etc. BUT WHAT I MEAN TO IMPRESS IS THE EXPENSE INVOLVED IN THE PRESENT DAY
    pbk,

    good point. especially re increased costs.

    sir, one assumption you made, and i am not so sure (i simply do not know the prevalent norms) whether the bride's side should foot the bill.

    nowadays, with the dearth of available brides, and what i see, as desperation among grooms, are the marriage expense still borne by the girl's family?

    how much do you think all this can be negotiated?

    or are we not come to the level of courage on the part of bride's family to mention about sharing expenses.

    two weddings i attended in chennai past year: one the bride's family was well off to afford the whole jingbang. they went over and beyond any expectations from the groom's side. they put on a great show.

    the other one, the groom's parents offered to pay 50% of the bill. which is ok. the groom's family was very well off. what would have been better in this case, is for the groom's family to ask the bride their maximum mite (a widowed mother here), and pay the balance.

    the issue here was a big show as the groom's family was socially prominent.

    all in all, what i am saying, is that i think, we will soon develop a paradigm change - marriage will be a cooperation and operation of two families in the real sense, where not only there is union of two individuals, families, but also equal division of expenses, or even better, expenses borne by the fiscally stronger of the families.

    it will come soon, judging, by the way things are going. atleast, i think so.
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