Rituals after death

Hi
my intention is not to hurt anyone.........please bear with me.
In a brahmin's house, if some death occurs, the rituals to be followed are so many and to start with, the first two days, the rituals are performed by some vaadhiyar and charge exhorbitant money. The person who has lost his kin/kith/relative is already in trauma and the vaadhiyar over and above, make them miserable by charging hefty money and mostly, don't come out with clear list of what to do and what should not be done. To obviate this situation, should anyone come out with some solution...........especially in areas where the number of brahmins living are few e.g., north india or abroad. In case if such rituals are done as per the prevalent hindu rituals of north (like what we do at gaya), badri with pandas, what will be the impact. The mantras are almost similar but definitely, there are differences. What will be the impact on such pithrus, if such thing happens? For subsequent days also, the vaadhiyar leaves it to the discretion of kartha whether to start on 3rd, 5th, 7th, or 9th...does this performance is right? Here also, in north, they do recite garuda puranam for 10 days and on the 13th, 13 brahmins are invited and given puri, vegetables and halwa and no rice......which one is the best. As regards cost, the performance of such rituals in north are much meticuluous and cheaper also. They say, for happer, can charge higher amount and for funerals, death rituals, should charge less. I would be glad to know the opinion of all those who can through light on this. Adiyen..............sks raghavan

Dear sir ,

I am not getting into the cost debate but i would like to share few of my thoughts.

1. Procedures differing in each area - It do exists .. There is something called Desha aachara , the procedure difference is normal but we should follow only the rules/procedures in our own living area .
2. Cities like Varanasi and gaya have their own rules and procedures which are invalid outside the city borders.
3. As per my knowledge, Nithya vidhi .. there are rituals to done for everyday from day 1 till day 13. Our sasthras have mentioned something like "Gouna Kaalam" for some(only some) of the rituals , if it was not possible to do it on the time that it should be done, It can be done on a later time with some restrictions/additional steps (exceptions).
4. Recital of Garuda purana is still an existing practice. though this practice is slowly leaving us .. I have been into occassions where this recital is done in Tamil.
5. Which one is best - What our family is practicing for generations is best.

Finally my take on Rise in Vadhyar sambhavana. Again this is purely my personal opinion. Directly or indirectly we are responsible for the state we have today. Earlier we had vedic pundits everywhere, almost there is some one who is a vedic pundit in every family. Nowadays it is like a couple of vedic pundits or in a countable quantity only available in a city. because most of us moved towards what we call westernization. Moreover the pundits turn towards this "Apara prayoga" are so less. In apara prayoga there are some strict restrictions for Vadhyars too. The affordability cannot be achieved overnight as it requires a transformation as we needs to have a increase in the vedic population.

Thanks,
Arun M

Dear SKSRA001 sir,

This subject matter had already been discussed threadbare in this forum previously many a times. If you browse through or search anthyeshti/apara etc as key words, you will find many similar questions and answers. Mohaar002 has also raised some valid points too. You may also know/realise the real state of affairs of our vadhyar community's state of affairs as on date. If you are too keen to fix the rates for vadhyars for their ritual performances, I reproduce below the rates and justifications given for such rates and also the link of the site where they have given all our custom/rituals and pujas in english pdf text format which you can download and perform yourself.

Summary of Recommended Minimum Dakshina

Please note — This is the MINIMUM recommended dakshina, the yajamana is encouraged to display his generosity and give to his capacity. Some priests may also require mileage (60c per kilometre) and tolls to be paid in addition to the dakshina, depending on where you live. This should be discussed with your chosen purohit.

For Punyaha vachanam (purification ceremony) — $150
For all general PUJAS not involving the use of Fire — $200
For all ceremonies involving Fire (HAVAN) — $250
For Satya-narayana puja — $300
For Griha-pravesh (vastu shanti) — $350
For all Samskaras — $250 — $350 (depending upon time taken)
For Shraddhas — $300 for the purohit and $200 each for the diners (bhoktas)

For engagement ceremony — $250
For Wedding (Vivaha Samskara) — $850 for the head priest and $250 for the assistant.
For pre-wedding ceremonies such as Gauri Puja — $150

• Graha Shanti puja — $150
• Chura ceremony — $150

For registering of marriage — $150 lodgement fee (NOIM) & $350 for registration.

if you log on to http://www.australiancouncilofhinduclergy.com/ and carefully browse all the pages, you will understand how they are managing vaideeham in australia. The entire list of functions, their manthras. puja vidhi and other items are clearly given in downloadable format which you can download, print and practice.

The rituals (Apara) at the time of death and afterwards, is totally different and calls for different set of rules, regulations and demands certain ground requirements, which is again explained in the above site, the demand by vadhyars for such rituals should not be treated as exorbitant provided the vadhyar is qualified.
If you further need, i can give you further explanations of the intricacies involved in these anthyeshti karyams to prove the point.

Vaadhyar Sambavanai

Rituals after death are a duty that every son has to do after his parents pass away. every activity has a price and death rituals also. We don't complain similarly with hospitals.

the Vaadhyar does not demand huge fees but quotes different options and the Kartha can choose how much he can spend on his parents.

we can not expect the Vaadhyar to perform at dead cheap rates. he has a choice not to come for Upadhyayam and the kartha will need to look for his affordable vadhyar

SKSRA001 said:

Hi
my intention is not to hurt anyone.........please bear with me.
In a brahmin's house, if some death occurs, the rituals to be followed are so many and to start with, the first two days, the rituals are performed by some vaadhiyar and charge exhorbitant money. The person who has lost his kin/kith/relative is already in trauma and the vaadhiyar over and above, make them miserable by charging hefty money and mostly, don't come out with clear list of what to do and what should not be done. To obviate this situation, should anyone come out with some solution...........especially in areas where the number of brahmins living are few e.g., north india or abroad. In case if such rituals are done as per the prevalent hindu rituals of north (like what we do at gaya), badri with pandas, what will be the impact. The mantras are almost similar but definitely, there are differences. What will be the impact on such pithrus, if such thing happens? For subsequent days also, the vaadhiyar leaves it to the discretion of kartha whether to start on 3rd, 5th, 7th, or 9th...does this performance is right? Here also, in north, they do recite garuda puranam for 10 days and on the 13th, 13 brahmins are invited and given puri, vegetables and halwa and no rice......which one is the best. As regards cost, the performance of such rituals in north are much meticuluous and cheaper also. They say, for happer, can charge higher amount and for funerals, death rituals, should charge less. I would be glad to know the opinion of all those who can through light on this. Adiyen..............sks raghavan

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SKSRA001 said:

Hi
my intention is not to hurt anyone.........please bear with me.
In a brahmin's house, if some death occurs, the rituals to be followed are so many and to start with, the first two days, the rituals are performed by some vaadhiyar and charge exhorbitant money. The person who has lost his kin/kith/relative is already in trauma and the vaadhiyar over and above, make them miserable by charging hefty money and mostly, don't come out with clear list of what to do and what should not be done. To obviate this situation, should anyone come out with some solution...........especially in areas where the number of brahmins living are few e.g., north india or abroad. In case if such rituals are done as per the prevalent hindu rituals of north (like what we do at gaya), badri with pandas, what will be the impact. The mantras are almost similar but definitely, there are differences. What will be the impact on such pithrus, if such thing happens? For subsequent days also, the vaadhiyar leaves it to the discretion of kartha whether to start on 3rd, 5th, 7th, or 9th...does this performance is right? Here also, in north, they do recite garuda puranam for 10 days and on the 13th, 13 brahmins are invited and given puri, vegetables and halwa and no rice......which one is the best. As regards cost, the performance of such rituals in north are much meticuluous and cheaper also. They say, for happer, can charge higher amount and for funerals, death rituals, should charge less. I would be glad to know the opinion of all those who can through light on this. Adiyen..............sks raghavan

Click to expand...

"While you are at Rome, do as the Romans do." is the guideline to be followed, I think. SrAddham is an annual remembrance day of our parents and we should strive to perform it in the best way suited to our health and purse conditions. In my view, there is no harm if one follows the SrAddha procedure of North Indian priests, if it helps, provided there are north indian vAdhyArs available locally.