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Pitru Karyam Auspicious or inauspicious

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Daya

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Dear community and a learned people,

I am constantly daunted with questions and argument on this topic. In my opinion and understanding the process of shraddam and tarpanam and the mantram recited II thought it to be a ritual and opportunity to invoke pitru spirits and in a way thank and feed them.

As many sacred texts ask you to put your father and mother above god "mata-pita-guru-daivam" I have a opinion that these karma come above anything else we are to do and these are auspicious.

The one of the main reason I ask this question now is also to decide if II can perform pitru karyam in my newly bought flat before gruha pravesham. Complications of gruha pravesham getting delayed is because handover got late and we have marghazhi maadam started.

My aspiration was to do this year shraddam in my first and only own home and seek my dads blessings. Guidance would be highly appreciated
 
Daya said:
Dear community and a learned people,

I am constantly daunted with questions and argument on this topic. In my opinion and understanding the process of shraddam and tarpanam and the mantram recited II thought it to be a ritual and opportunity to invoke pitru spirits and in a way thank and feed them.

As many sacred texts ask you to put your father and mother above god "mata-pita-guru-daivam" I have a opinion that these karma come above anything else we are to do and these are auspicious.

The one of the main reason I ask this question now is also to decide if II can perform pitru karyam in my newly bought flat before gruha pravesham. Complications of gruha pravesham getting delayed is because handover got late and we have marghazhi maadam started.

My aspiration was to do this year shraddam in my first and only own home and seek my dads blessings. Guidance would be highly appreciated
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Shri Daya Sir,

Our views on pitru kAryams like srAddham, tarppaNam etc., are clouded views, I will say. According to our oldest veda, the rigveda, the dead people never come back through rebirth and live in a so-called pitruloka. So, the idea of our offering the dead parents food etc., through srAddham, tarppaNam, etc., gels with this rigvedic notion. Be that as it may, pitrus are not on the same pedestal with the devas according to our religious imaginations and the devas are some steps higher. Devas can (i.e., we have imagined ourselves, there is no proof) grant us our wishes by way of boons but pitrus can, at best, help us by not directing their anger or curse on us. Then there are pitrus who are uttama, madhyama and adhama (low class) while such gradation is not there in regard to the Devas. In short, our pitrus are a mere extension of their human existences but unreachable to us in any way of cognition. That is why it is believed that if on any day, tarppaNam is done first and devapooja is done thereafter, no deva will come till the next daylight and so the previous day's pooja results will be eaten away by the so-called 'rakshases'.

There is also the more earthy superstition that if a srAddham is performed as the first thing in a new house, only deaths and death-related rites will thrive in that house. Though one may like to pay one's respects to father by doing srAddham as the first thing in his new house, no one will like to witness the deaths of his near and dear ones, you see.

Therefore, if you believe that your deceased father really comes back from wherever he is and gets satisfied with whatever srAddham you perform in his memory (which itself is a superstition since there is neither logic nor proof for it), then it is better to trust the rest of the "superstition package deal" and to desist from performing a srAddham as the first event in your new house.

The alternative will be to get rid of the whole package!
 
It would be better to take every answer that is posted here with a good measure of salt.

We have pessimists who look at everything in a dim light. They will always tell you negatives first.

There are revolutioneries here who would advise you to give up everything and go and sit with a bottle of Champagne before the TV and watch what trick Khardashian or Sonny Leone is up to next.

And we have those who would invent new meanings to the Vedas in the light of their so called scientific knowledge and give all sorts of funny interpretations to the contents of vedas. They will tell you the whole of un iverse was just a globe and when the globe dwellers exploded a nuclear weapon the globe blew up into smithereens and we are now living on one tukkada (small piece) of those pieces. So there is nothing new about knowledge of nuclear energy because our ancestors knew that.

My take is this:

(1) Just do not bother about what these people say. Just enjoy their jokes and have a hearty laugh. That will rejuvenate you. As for your problems, go to some one who you think is knowledgeable-can be your acharyan or Guru-and ask him your questions and then-this is more important-just follow what he tells you with full faith and trust in him. You will save for yourself a lot of time and freedom from anxiety.

(2) If i were in your position in this forum after reading the posts above, I will happily do the shradhdham in the new house first thing after grihapravesam. I will be telling myself about the great things that my dad did for me and will think it is the fittest tribute to him to remember him first after moving into the new dream house. Come what may. I will deal with the problems in my life as they come and will never find a scape goat in the shradhdham.

My thumb rule is this:

I fight with all my energy on issues that are visible to me. I depend on God's help for those issues which are not visible and are in the realm of that unpredictable entity called time. Living in the present with the "consequences" and dealing with them is better than living with the fear of the unknown. Period.
 
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