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Deepam editor, wife commit suicide

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Inability to pay EMI seems to be the reason...Shocking news...Deepam is a spiritual magazine...That a person editing a spiritual magazine is able to get solace only though death is unbelievable...Who will comfort their 9 year old son?? May God be with the young boy!

Why are people taking EMI beyond their means...Is suicide the only solution...They could have sold the flat and paid their dues

[h=1]Tamil magazine editor, wife commit suicide[/h] Deccan Chronicle | October 21, 2015





Chennai: The Editor of Deepam, a fortnightly Tamil spiritual magazine published by the Kalki group, K.R. Srinivasa Ragavan (48) and his wife, S. Janaki alias Rajalakshmi (35), committed suicide by hanging at their apartment at Senthamizh Nagar main road, Ramapuram here on Monday night.

Preliminary investigation revealed that differences between the couple over a property loan they took last year to be the reason behind their act. On Tuesday evening, around 4.30 pm, a colleague of Janaki checked on their home after repeated phone calls went unattended. “The lady works as a teacher at a private school nearby and also takes tuition classes at her second floor apartment. The students who came in the morning left after the door was not opened,” a police officer said.


The woman alerted the neighbours who checked on one of the rooms after climbing on to the sunshade to find Janaki lying on the floor. They broke open the door and found both of them dead in different rooms. The Royala Nagar police was alerted.

Police secured their bodies and moved them to Government Royapettah Hospital for post mortem. “From our investigation, it is learnt they had difficulties paying EMI for a home loan they took recently. Both of them had shared their displeasure with their colleagues and relatives,” an investigating officer said. Raghavan had lowered his wife’s body after she committed suicide and later committed suicide in another room.

The couple has a nine-year-old son, S. Anirudh, studying class four at a nearby school. “They left their son at their relative’s place in Pudukottai only last Friday for the Dasara holidays,” according to Sebastian who lives in the ground floor of the apartment, Muthamizh Illam.




http://www.deccanchronicle.com/1510...cle/tamil-magazine-editor-wife-commit-suicide
 
He could have sold the property if he was unable to pay EMI. Did the Management not know the problems faced by him? It is coming under Kaliki Group. While every year Kalki gives award to young Carnatic musicians, it is unfortunate the Management has not helped his employee.
 
In the earlier generations, assets were added AFTER earning enough money but now, assets are bought and then money is earned!! :sad:

In a car advt. a guy aged 27 drives a fancy car and the letters that flash in my mind on seeing that are E M I !

A forgotten adage is 'viralukkuth thagundha veekkam' !
 
Why are people taking EMI beyond their means...Is suicide the only solution...They could have sold the flat and paid their dues

That sounds quite sensible but in reality not all assets get easily sold and if they get sold they will not command the rate that you quote . When people get to know that a person is in distress the prospective buyer would quote very less and sometimes you may have no other alternative except to go in for that low amount . Also in many cases people take all oither loans apart from housing loans - car , education ,jewellary etc etc and the loans may pile up much beyond what all their assets are worth .
I really do not know the excat reaons for the suicide of thie Editor and his wife but in most of the cases I have found financial mismanagement taking a severe toll on a persons peronal life . Many people buy Cars , Houses etc blindly just because the fact that all others are also doing the same with doing the basic due diligence whether they can really afford them in the short and long run . Also one must evalaute how will they manage to pay the loans in case they loose a job which is very common these days in a Private Sector jobs .

In conclusion : Save first and then spend and not spend first and try to save to pay the EMIs .
 


It is reported that both of them seem to be earning members and there was supplementary income also earned through tuition.


Every one of us is reading reporters’ version, neighbors’ version or police version.


And in cases where a person who has availed a Housing loan when faced with financial crunch, unable to pay the EMI and thus becomes a defaulter, there seems to be number of options left to tide over such situation like:


  1. One can request the bank for grace period for resuming EMIs
  2. Can request the Bank to restructure the loan (or)
  3. To refinance the Home loan
  4. Approach the counseling centre for help who are to provide appropriate option, etc
 


It is reported that both of them seem to be earning members and there was supplementary income also earned through tuition.


Every one of us is reading reporters’ version, neighbors’ version or police version.


And in cases where a person who has availed a Housing loan when faced with financial crunch, unable to pay the EMI and thus becomes a defaulter, there seems to be number of options left to tide over such situation like:


  1. One can request the bank for grace period for resuming EMIs
  2. Can request the Bank to restructure the loan (or)
  3. To refinance the Home loan
  4. Approach the counseling centre for help who are to provide appropriate option, etc

An educated couple taking this ultimate step..Are we missing something??
 
An educated couple taking this ultimate step..Are we missing something??

If being educated means just having some degrees BA,BE ,CA , MBA then that sort of education is incomplete . These degrees may help you to get a job , money etc but it does not teach you many things that life confronts you when you come face to face with it . But by this I do not mean that getting degrees and job is a waste only that we must understand the limitation of these degrees and educate ourselves with other aspects of life which is never taught in any Schools , Universities . I know couple of my relatives who committed suicide in their early 70s ( this happened in the last 10 years ) due to social isolation . They had good degrees , good jobs and were also receiving good pension and one was also a Professor in Collage and another was working in Government .Their problem was not money but were not socially mixing much with people and that led to depression and finally suicde .
 
hi

we have try to live within our means.....now show off too much....just to show others....every one isnot the same....

i feel personally a household woman can control unneccessary unwanted things....
 
Many in seventies and older get into depression and develop suicidal tendencies. It is partly because of social isolation,

uncaring relations in upper high income groups , financial, property related issues also add to depression.Most find it difficult

to cope in modern days where no one has the time,money or the mindset to care for another human being.There is no

alternative to self help. One can try bonding with all around and create support structures to rely on. So many online sites

are there to occupy isolated types to cater to any taste. IF only people would try reaching out to others they can be helped.

No one can protect a human being from himself.
 
In cases of suicide, depression is mostly the cause.

It could be multifactorial and would have had a slow build up.

A depressed mind loses its ability to control impulse that floods its mind.

I only have sympathy for a person who committed suicide due to depression.

The best is not to "blame" the victim of suicide.

When a person is depressed the neurotransmitters in their brain takes a dip and function at a different reality..a normal human mind would never understand this state.Most people who are depressed start isolating themselves and reduce their functional normal activity.

When a person dies becos of Diabetic coma becos body did not produce enough insulin..no one blames him/her for dying ..so why when a person whose brain did not make enough neurotransmitters and dies from suicide is always blamed for his/her death?

Try to look at depression as an illness due to lack of neurotransmitters in the brain and understand why and how this happens.

If a person is dead becos of depression that led to suicide stop the blame game and try to understand that depression is still taken lightly in Asian society which can have disastrous consequences.
 
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In cases of suicide, depression is mostly the cause.
It could be multifactorial and would have had a slow build up.
A depressed mind loses its ability to control impulse that floods its mind.

When an individual suffers depression periodically, he is also normal periodically. So he is keenly aware of his episodes. He needs to take his family and friends into confidence and seek help. Those episodal seizures of his mind when he is completely lost to the tyranny and waywardness of his neuro transmitters, he should hold himself together with the help of medicines and his relatives should help him with that task. Gathering himself and keeping himself together is the primary task as otherwise he will lose himself to the lazy or crazy neurotransmitters. The result in extreme cases can be suicide which is indeed sad and a stupid solution.

So being aware of the problem and its duration and the emergency escape routes are very important for an individual suffering from periodical, recurring depression. Otherwise the individual may be overwhelmed at some point of time with disastrous consequences.

I only have sympathy for a person who committed suicide due to depression.
The best is not to "blame" the victim of suicide.

More than sympathy, help is needed. No use blaming the individual. For a dead and gone man blame and fame do not mean anything. Everyone around can be blamed because in such depression cases there is callous indifference to what is happening inside an individual. A careful and vigilant eye on the individual by a close relative can prevent disaster.

My grandfather, as per the sastras, used to do his sandhi every day in the morning standing up and in the evening sitting. One morning, unusually he was doing his sandhyavandanam sitting on the floor. My father thought something was missing. When asked, grandfather mentioned about tightness in the chest and tiredness and he was taken to a doctor. He had suffered a mild heart attack. This is what is being vigilant.

When a person is depressed the neurotransmitters in their brain takes a dip and function at a different reality..a normal human mind would never understand this state.Most people who are depressed start isolating themselves and reduce their functional normal activity.

That is the pity. The people around matter a lot. They can be really helpful. And the individual should share every anxiety with the people around.

When a person dies becos of Diabetic coma becos body did not produce enough insulin..no one blames him/her for dying ..so why when a person whose brain did not make enough neurotransmitters and dies from suicide is always blamed for his/her death?
Try to look at depression as an illness due to lack of neurotransmitters in the brain and understand why and how this happens.
If a person is dead becos of depression that led to suicide stop the blame game and try to understand that depression is still taken lightly in Asian society which can have disastrous consequences.

This applies two category of pathetic souls. One is an alcoholic. An alcoholic can be a loving husband and a doting father and yet be despicable alcoholic who is blind to the suffering he is causing to his close relatives. He is in the grip of a disease. The people around refuse to recognise it as a disease like any other disease. They think he alone is responsible for all his suffering. They can not be more unsympathetic. Understanding that the individual is in the grip and control of his craving for alcohol (which is the disease) is the first step. Then helping him come out slowly out of it can be taken up. But usually in the society this understanding is mostly rare. An alcoholic is condemned for ever and he drowns himself in alcohol and dies ultimately.

Similarly what is needed in the case of people with recurring depression is understanding and sympathy combined with help from relatives. For this, it requires a certain amount of openness in the family. Sometimes this openness is hard to practice and the victim suffers silently without understanding and help from others.
 
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Similarly what is needed in the case of people with recurring depression is understanding and sympathy combined with help from relatives. For this, it requires a certain amount of openness in the family. Sometimes this openness is hard to practice and the victim suffers silently without understanding and help from others.

Very True but in today's context with the collapse of the family structure even in India , very little support is available from the relatives and family .
 
Very True but in today's context with the collapse of the family structure even in India , very little support is available from the relatives and family .

Today I saw Deepam magazine in a Tamil shop in Gurgaon..I could only shed 2 tears for him...The combo of somebody editing a spiritual magazine is unable to find a solution to family distress & not seeking help when a school going kid is dependent on them is excruciating to say the least...Have we become helpless?
 
Today I saw Deepam magazine in a Tamil shop in Gurgaon..I could only shed 2 tears for him...The combo of somebody editing a spiritual magazine is unable to find a solution to family distress & not seeking help when a school going kid is dependent on them is excruciating to say the least...Have we become helpless?


One of the reasons those who are depressed stop seeking help is becos they are actually sick and tired of portraying themselves as depressed individuals to the outside world.

Partly becos its not easy for a normal person to understand a depressed person and reactions a depressed person sees sometimes is not what he/she expects and they do feel "let down' eventually.

Also some depressed individuals do not like to be a burden to others and tend to mask their state of mind so that they do not "torture" others with their never ending stories of sadness and despair.
They feel its not fair for others to be dragged into their depressed mind.

Then they start to withdraw and isolate themselves depending on Me,Myself and I.

The journey after that can take any turn..some recover with self introspection and some just end their existence.
 
When an individual suffers depression periodically, he is also normal periodically. So he is keenly aware of his episodes. He needs to take his family and friends into confidence and seek help. Those episodal seizures of his mind when he is completely lost to the tyranny and waywardness of his neuro transmitters, he should hold himself together with the help of medicines and his relatives should help him with that task. Gathering himself and keeping himself together is the primary task as otherwise he will lose himself to the lazy or crazy neurotransmitters. The result in extreme cases can be suicide which is indeed sad and a stupid solution.

So being aware of the problem and its duration and the emergency escape routes are very important for an individual suffering from periodical, recurring depression. Otherwise the individual may be overwhelmed at some point of time with disastrous consequences.



More than sympathy, help is needed. No use blaming the individual. For a dead and gone man blame and fame do not mean anything. Everyone around can be blamed because in such depression cases there is callous indifference to what is happening inside an individual. A careful and vigilant eye on the individual by a close relative can prevent disaster.

My grandfather, as per the sastras, used to do his sandhi every day in the morning standing up and in the evening sitting. One morning, unusually he was doing his sandhyavandanam sitting on the floor. My father thought something was missing. When asked, grandfather mentioned about tightness in the chest and tiredness and he was taken to a doctor. He had suffered a mild heart attack. This is what is being vigilant.



That is the pity. The people around matter a lot. They can be really helpful. And the individual should share every anxiety with the people around.



This applies two category of pathetic souls. One is an alcoholic. An alcoholic can be a loving husband and a doting father and yet be despicable alcoholic who is blind to the suffering he is causing to his close relatives. He is in the grip of a disease. The people around refuse to recognise it as a disease like any other disease. They think he alone is responsible for all his suffering. They can not be more unsympathetic. Understanding that the individual is in the grip and control of his craving for alcohol (which is the disease) is the first step. Then helping him come out slowly out of it can be taken up. But usually in the society this understanding is mostly rare. An alcoholic is condemned for ever and he drowns himself in alcohol and dies ultimately.

Similarly what is needed in the case of people with recurring depression is understanding and sympathy combined with help from relatives. For this, it requires a certain amount of openness in the family. Sometimes this openness is hard to practice and the victim suffers silently without understanding and help from others.


Well written.
 
I pity the child who is left defenceless now.

Being stuck in the quagmire of everyday routine and trivia soon tends to demonize the mind. Work life balance, enjoying boredom and simplicity of life as it is, good friends, enjoying nature and sometimes a little escape from the everyday grind can destress the spirit.
 
I pity the child who is left defenceless now.

Being stuck in the quagmire of everyday routine and trivia soon tends to demonize the mind. Work life balance, enjoying boredom and simplicity of life as it is, good friends, enjoying nature and sometimes a little escape from the everyday grind can destress the spirit.

Also in this case I guess the wife has felt the stress more...Can ladies take stress at all...Some of them are wallowing in stress without knowing a solution and they are silently dying..Whay can't we share our issues with near and dear
 
.Whay can't we share our issues with near and dear

The crumbling of the family structure even in India is forcing people to face their problems alone as their is no one now to either listen to your problems or even if they listen are willing to put their time ,energy and resource to help you face that problem . Those days are gone .
 
The crumbling of the family structure even in India is forcing people to face their problems alone as their is no one now to either listen to your problems or even if they listen are willing to put their time ,energy and resource to help you face that problem . Those days are gone .

I do not think so..Understand that Churches & Mosques play a proactive role in preventing suicides ...Our temples and other religious institutions including Maths can play a critical role in preventing suicides
 
I do not think so..Understand that Churches & Mosques play a proactive role in preventing suicides ...Our temples and other religious institutions including Maths can play a critical role in preventing suicides

Very true! A very constructive suggestion! Yes, our temples can also have counselling centres for psychological problems faced in the family vis-a-vis other members of the family, in-laws, relatives, or in the workplace etc. IMHO, solutions to situations springing from financial problems due to mismanagement or inefficient planning or conspicuous consumption may require a totally different bouquet of skillsets.
 
I do not think so..Understand that Churches & Mosques play a proactive role in preventing suicides ...Our temples and other religious institutions including Maths can play a critical role in preventing suicides
Churches play a pro active role. My car driver a Tamil from erode who was contemplating suicide due to financial stress in delhi was rescued by the church and

counselled and helped financially besides being given free accomodation. It came with a price tag. Conversion to christian faith from hindu.There is no unselfish

help.Now he has become a faithful follower and devotes sundays to church work - convincing others to convert and leading prayers. His children were helped to get

education in convent school and given help to pursue vocational course.
 
Churches play a pro active role. My car driver a Tamil from erode who was contemplating suicide due to financial stress in delhi was rescued by the church and

counselled and helped financially besides being given free accomodation. It came with a price tag. Conversion to christian faith from hindu.

True many people especially in the film Industry get converted when they have huge debts or have no source of income and after converting turn as Christain Preachers . One such person is Junior Baliah ( Son of famous Comedian TS Baliah ) .
 
Christianity spread in India by the contribution of the well trained fathers who touch the heart of the people in distress and

extending helping hands.
 
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