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Inlaws or Outlaws

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krish44

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Most parents when they get their child married , they get the status of Inlaws

When they have to perform this role , most run into difficulties with the new entrant into their family

Girls find it difficult to bond specially with mother in law due to many times pre conceived ideas about them and are unable to strike a smooth working

relationship. In extreme cases it leads to separation from inlaws and moving to a separate establishment with their spouses.

Similarly boys have issues with father inlaws who are not able to accept the intruder who has taken away his daughter from him.

Often there is very uneasy relationship and in worst cases Inlaws get Outlawed

The parents of couple are often dragged into matrimonial disputes which lead sometimes to court cases and harassment of inlaws .

even some parents [of boys] end up as victims in false cases of dowry, domestic harassment and the like.

Girl parents are also subjected to loss of face and respect even when they try their best to have a non interfering stance in life of their daughters.

Parents of both boys and girls ultimately appear to be getting a raw deal for no fault of theirs specially in cases where boys and girls are both wage earners

and existing family structures are threatened by the new entrants.

what is the best course parents need to take as Inlaws if they do not want to become become Outlaws
 
krish44 said:
Most parents when they get their child married , they get the status of Inlaws

When they have to perform this role , most run into difficulties with the new entrant into their family

Girls find it difficult to bond specially with mother in law due to many times pre conceived ideas about them and are unable to strike a smooth working

relationship. In extreme cases it leads to separation from inlaws and moving to a separate establishment with their spouses.

Similarly boys have issues with father inlaws who are not able to accept the intruder who has taken away his daughter from him.

Often there is very uneasy relationship and in worst cases Inlaws get Outlawed

The parents of couple are often dragged into matrimonial disputes which lead sometimes to court cases and harassment of inlaws .

even some parents [of boys] end up as victims in false cases of dowry, domestic harassment and the like.

Girl parents are also subjected to loss of face and respect even when they try their best to have a non interfering stance in life of their daughters.

Parents of both boys and girls ultimately appear to be getting a raw deal for no fault of theirs specially in cases where boys and girls are both wage earners

and existing family structures are threatened by the new entrants.

what is the best course parents need to take as Inlaws if they do not want to become become Outlaws
Click to expand...
hi

i was abt this....i thought that you would start this story too....SHAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI...LOL
 
renuka said:
They should go on a second honeymoon and become a newly wed again!
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Parents also have their inlaws [ may be in late eighties or nineties] to think about.even the first honeymoon was under their direct supervision.

Many cases girls parents accompany newly weds on their honeymoon.

When my daughter got married , I was repeatedly told to let go of daughter and not be a spoil sport harassing the son in law and daughter wanting to enjoy on their

own . you know all fathers have a daughter hang up.many would like to chase off the son in law wanting to take away the daughter from them.lol
 
say that all fathers do not want their daughters to get married fearing , their sons-in-law may take away their daughters from them. Most fathers fear their sons-in-law are stealing their milking cows from whom they get a lot of money . That is the main reason why f.i.ls are hating their s.i.ls
 
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krish44 said:
Many cases girls parents accompany newly weds on their honeymoon.
Click to expand...


For what?


BTW I dont think all fathers feel that their Sons In Law "takes away" their daughters.

I am 100% sure that my father was 100% happy the day I got married.

In fact I think my father expects me to be the perfect wife to my husband.

Once I came to my parents house right after work and I was totally hungry and wanted to eat.

My husband had already eaten after his work so I put food only for myself and was about to eat when my father saw that and asked me "How can you eat when you havent put food for your husband!"

I was really really hungry and when I am hungry I can get real angry and I just stared at my father and ate my food.

Then my husband told him that he had already eaten that is why I(renu) did not put food for him.

Sometimes when my husband and I go to my parents house..then when I sit and relax and see TV my dad will tell me "why cant you make tea for your husband instead of seeing TV"

Then I will ask my husband "Do you want tea?"

He will say "Nope..I dont feel like drinking tea now"

Then my father will say "No husband will say they want tea if the wife asks but deep down inside they would want tea..so go make it"

Then I will ask my husband.."tell me truthfully..do you want tea?"

And he will say "No"

And my dad will say "Its Ok..I will make tea for your husband"

So you see..not all fathers feel their Sons In Laws take their daughters away!LOL
 
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renuka said:
For what?


BTW I dont think all fathers feel that their Sons In Law "takes away" their daughters.

I am 100% sure that my father was 100% happy the day I got married.

In fact I think my father expects me to be the perfect wife to my husband.

Once I came to my parents house right after work and I was totally hungry and wanted to eat.

My husband had already eaten after his work so I put food only for myself and was about to eat when my father saw that and asked me "How can you eat when you havent put food for your husband!"

I was really really hungry and when I am hungry I can get real angry and I just stared at my father and ate my food.

Then my husband told him that he had already eaten that is why I(renu) did not put food for him.

Sometimes when my husband and I go to my parents house..then when I sit and relax and see TV my dad will tell me "why cant you make tea for your husband instead of seeing TV"

Then I will ask my husband "Do you want tea?"

He will say "Nope..I dont feel like drinking tea now"

Then my father will say "No husband will say they want tea if the wife asks but deep down inside they would want tea..so go make it"

Then I will ask my husband.."tell me truthfully..do you want tea?"

And he will say "No"

And my dad will say "Its Ok..I will make tea for your husband"

So you see..not all fathers feel their Sons In Laws take their daughters away!LOL
Click to expand...

Hi Ammu, when did you assume the name Renuka and when did you join TB Forum? LOL
 
I was seeing nammaveetu kalyanam in starvijai sometime back

The girl getting married -a famous filmstar of sixties ans seventies said her mother accompanied her on her honeymoon to kashmir with new husband as the mother

feared her daughter would not know how to conduct herself with new son inlaw.

I feared that my son just 24yrs was goinng abroad with his wife of 23 years would not be able to handle it.

I will tell you an amusing incident

He and his wife were walking with a friend and his wife on the sidewalk , two boys a little ahead and two girls a little behind

While absorbed in walking and talking , forgot his wife had gone with him for walking and confessed to his friend that.


His friend told him ' I also forget sometimes I am married 'The trick is not to let girls know you have forgotten about them.lol
 
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I think the newly married girls are ok. It is the old people who should be told not to repeat the horror stories of their long past to gain sympathy or to frighten the newly weds. Old is old and should withdraw silently. The people who suffer today must be the culprits of the past. I am not accusing anybody. There are old people who are still an asset to the family in lot many ways and accepted as such. First of all old people should stop to think that they are old, as if it is coveted position. On a practical plane, I suggest experienced people can start an orientation course on fee for the newly married couple. They will happily join such courses because it will be their new wont.
 
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