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How To Find A Match For Marriage

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K

krish44

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I have been reading a lot of posts regarding inability of most boys and their parents to find suitable girls for arranged marriages.

I tried to go to various matrimony sites to find what is it that one has to project to get a girl to agree to marry a brahmin boy

there are several words one has to use to get a fast immediate response

some catch words - liberal, non orthodox. independant, career oriented,

some academic proficiency- Engg, CA, IT ,MBA from IIT, Top BSchools, foreign degree

some job related- MNC , foreign placement, high salary[ over 12-20 lakhs CTC]

place- some foreign country[us or canada or uk, singapore ,australia] or metros bangalore preferably

family -Acceptance of girls parents as their own,boys parents not living with boy and preferably dead or living far away

food - veg, eggetarian declaration [ be non veg without declaring], fancy chinese, mexican ,italian

personal habits -non smoker, non drinker [only declaration will do]. possibly social drinker

looks-height -tall over 5'8 ,athletic, fair age 24-28 yrs for boys

interest- music hindi films, western pop

dress - western suits , no caste signs, jeans casual

religion - any brahmin not ritual minded or caste signs,not frequenting temple [100 percent chance of rejection if temple goers

others - allowing chat online or skype before commitment to marriage , should have a facebook ,twitter profile

ready to transfer to girls locality or town,country of work.

boys should be preferably be helping in the kitchen[ good cook , dish washer] or accepting eating out on weekends definitely

if boys can fulfill these requirements , they can find immediate matches

or else , enjoy bachelorhood for a long time and pray for a girl who is mindless to accept
 
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krish44 said:
I have been reading a lot of posts regarding inability of most boys and their parents to find suitable girls for arranged marriages.

I tried to go to various matrimony sites to find what is it that one has to project to get a girl to agree to marry a brahmin boy

there are several words one has to use to get a fast immediate response

some catch words - liberal, non orthodox. independant, career oriented,

some academic proficiency- Engg, CA, IT ,MBA from IIT, Top BSchools, foreign degree

some job related- MNC , foreign placement, high salary[ over 12-20 lakhs CTC]

place- some foreign country[us or canada or uk, singapore ,australia] or metros bangalore preferably

family -Acceptance of girls parents as their own,boys parents not living with boy and preferably dead or living far away

food - veg, eggetarian declaration [ be non veg without declaring], fancy chinese, mexican ,italian

personal habits -non smoker, non drinker [only declaration will do]. possibly social drinker

looks-height -tall over 5'8 ,athletic, fair

interest- music hindi films, western pop

dress - western suits , no caste signs, jeans casual

religion - any brahmin not ritual minded or caste signs,not frequenting temple [100 percent chance of rejection if temple goers

others - allowing chat online or skype before commitment to marriage , should have a facebook ,twitter profile

ready to transfer to girls locality or town,country of work.

boys should be preferably be helping in the kitchen[ good cook , dish washer] or accepting eating out on weekends definitely

if boys can fulfill these requirements , they can find immediate matches

or else , enjoy bachelorhood for a long time and pray for a girl who is mindless to accept
Click to expand...

hi sir,

i saw 1 ad recently in chennai.....during my recent visit to chennai.....above said reuirements for the match...JUST ONE MORE

ADDED RECENTLY....THE GIRL SHOULD NOT BE A REGULAR USER OF FACE BOOK...LOL ..idhu eppadi irukku?....
 
Dear Krish ji,

I have noted when it comes to music choice many tend to state classical music too.

Doesnt anyone state they like Dappangkuthu?
 
tbs said:
hi sir,

i saw 1 ad recently in chennai.....during my recent visit to chennai.....above said reuirements for the match...JUST ONE MORE

ADDED RECENTLY....THE GIRL SHOULD NOT BE A REGULAR USER OF FACE BOOK...LOL ..idhu eppadi irukku?....
Click to expand...

dear TBS garu,

Its simple..becos the boy does not want a wife that has a FB account cos she would surely add him as her friend and there goes his freedom!LOL

One of my friends said he recently closed his FB account cos his Father In Law added him as a friend>

So he said there goes Online Flirting!LOL
 
After this elaborate list, I floated one profile optimising on above categories of requirements and put it to test

In 5 days of floating a profile to suit theexacting requirements certifying to specs of of girls and her parents I got 15 acceptances from girls side,lol

See it is easy to get acceptance . only one has to say these things which girls like to hear before marriage .

boys should act smart and project their profile to meet most of these requirements.

it is actually very easy to find a suitable girl for marriage.

only do not fall into horoscope, caste/sub caste mismatch traps set by parents . cook horoscope to suit girls horoscope and see they match before hand before sending

to girls side
 
renuka said:
dear TBS garu,

Its simple..becos the boy does not want a wife that has a FB account cos she would surely add him as her friend and there goes his freedom!LOL

One of my friends said he recently closed his FB account cos his Father In Law added him as a friend>

So he said there goes Online Flirting!LOL
Click to expand...
renukaji
you know girls/girls parents check the facebook profiles of boys before entering into alliance . better remove all girl friends from facebook profile and their photos if any
 
renuka said:
Dear Krish ji,

I have noted when it comes to music choice many tend to state classical music too.

Doesnt anyone state they like Dappangkuthu?
Click to expand...
only girls profile says carnatic music in likes to impress boys parents that she will be conventional after marriage. also some say they are good cooks when they do not

know how to cook.
 
dear Krish ji,

I have checked some Indian matrimony sites and I have noted most girls put real horrid pics of themselves.

Their faces totally greasy and not well groomed..hair totally unkempt.

They should upload better pics and apply some light make up and look presentable.

I once saw a pic of a girl sitting on a bike with hair totally unkempt and she looked as if she was wearing some house clothes and her demands was so so high.

High on the list she said she wanted a very good looking guy.

She could at least taken the trouble to dress better if she wanted a good looking guy.
 
renuka said:
dear Krish ji,

I have checked some Indian matrimony sites and I have noted most girls put real horrid pics of themselves.

Their faces totally greasy and not well groomed..hair totally unkempt.

They should upload better pics and apply some light make up and look presentable.

I once saw a pic of a girl sitting on a bike with hair totally unkempt and she looked as if she was wearing some house clothes and her demands was so so high.

High on the list she said she wanted a very good looking guy.

She could at least taken the trouble to dress better if she wanted a good looking guy.
Click to expand...
Normally, It is the parents who float these profiles for marriage in matrimony.

They collect the picture of girls which they have taken for college admissioms or clicked at some function home or in bedroom or beside their vehicle scooter or car.

no attempt is made to make them presentable as they are sure that they can always get boys if they are educated with a job and they can get a boy inspite of bad

grooming or dress or unkempt hair. interestingly in most matrimonial site , retired parents of girls only directly chat on matrimonial sites . Girls act discreet so that no

body should think they are cheap if they chat with boys.they discreetly collect the number shift to some other forum for chatting if they desire .there also they will act

coy and hard to get . boys have to do the hard work.the girls normally log in and keep seeing profiles of boys . they never take the initiative . it is only boys /their

father and girls mothers mostly who chat and correspond. so it is the the girls mother one finds in chat mode not the girl herself. lol
 
another interesting fact . most good girls are free members and not paid members. they are not prepared to spend money to find a good match . boys/his parents should

take paid membership to trace these girls and chase their parents for them. . also girls spend saturday / sunday nights in these forums to see the fools who find them

desirable to marry even. they have little or no interest as such and wait it out for their exacting specs. only a boy/boys parent who understands this and acts with

fair degree of skill and deception can net them . One false move , the boy gets rejected. lol
 
krish44 said:
After this elaborate list, I floated one profile optimising on above categories of requirements and put it to test

In 5 days of floating a profile to suit theexacting requirements certifying to specs of of girls and her parents I got 15 acceptances from girls side,lol

See it is easy to get acceptance . only one has to say these things which girls like to hear before marriage .

boys should act smart and project their profile to meet most of these requirements.

it is actually very easy to find a suitable girl for marriage.

only do not fall into horoscope, caste/sub caste mismatch traps set by parents . cook horoscope to suit girls horoscope and see they match before hand before sending

to girls side
Click to expand...
This appears like 'Ayiram poy sollik kalyANam'!

BTW, could you get a match for your nephew for whom you gave advt. in our forum?
 
Raji Ram said:
This appears like 'Ayiram poy sollik kalyANam'!

BTW, could you get a match for your nephew for whom you gave advt. in our forum?
Click to expand...
When we go for jobs , we write our bio data projecting our educational and job experience in positive light . In fact there are professional writers who for a price would

write excellent CVs for suiting our CV to meet the requirement of employers. Depending on employer , the CVs are also altered , Why not professionally written

matrimonial profiles which will appeal to modern girls and their parents. It is only projection ,not lies as such. A well written matrimonial profile with a decent photo

goes a long way in getting a good match

Many times there are shoddy write ups and photos in matrimonial profiles which can turn anyone off.Some also are not very business like in responding to

interest from prospective matches and damage prospective alliances due to poor communication skills and unwanted delays in responding . All these count in getting a

good match.

most important is to be decisive and quickness in decision making and not vacillating .

regarding my nephew , I will send you a PM . thanks for your kind enquiry.
 
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Raji Ram said:
Already divorces are on the increase.

If guys bluff and get married..... ???
Click to expand...
Divorces these days are mostly because of incapacity of many to meet the needs of modern living. many do not have the maturity to face up to the needs .

the divorces are not because of horoscopes , gothras , stars or sub castes which most parents are stubborn about.

parents try to thrust many of their choices on children who look for spouses with a different mindset.

I have found that matches where children are allowed to freely decide their mates work out better than parent selected matches.
 
some job related- MNC , foreign placement, high salary[ over 12-20 lakhs CTC]
Click to expand...


The craze over foreign varans is amazing... even those girls from very well to do families want to settle abroad only, don't know why. Even their parents are ready to send such girls to study/work and finally marry and settle abroad. This craze is just sickening.
 
krish44 said:
parents try to thrust many of their choices on children who look for spouses with a different mindset.
Click to expand...

nana, Prof Krish is trying a GOOGLY on the CLOUD, i.e. THRUST on MINDSET. Doesn't work that way. Reverse sweep is a must.
 
renuka said:
Dear RR ji,

This line has its origins in the Manu Smriti!LOL

Not as in Ayiram but Manu Smirti says "Lying is permitted if it can lead to a marriage"!LOL
Click to expand...
Dear Renu,

In one of the Tamil blogs, I read something interesting. This adage was, 'Ayiram pEr pOy sollik kalyANam', which means

thousand persons have to go and talk to finalize a wedding! Just as 'kuRikkuth thappAdha Rama saram' changed as

'kuruvikku Eththa Rameswaram' (!!), this also has changed!

P.S: For those who are interested to learn more about adages, here is an interesting thread by London Swaminathan:

இருபதாயிரம் தமிழ் பழமொழிகள்
 
Dear Krish Sir,

The business strategies won't work in matrimonial alliances! :nono:

We are searching for a good match for our nephew and came across a profile (known family to a friend) and all the photos of the

girl were taken from a particular angle. I guessed that the girl might be very very bulky but the parents did not agree and went to

see her. She was more bulky than I described and they decided not to proceed since the boy is pencil thin! So, a good profile or

nice pictures won't work all the time.

I keep on writing repeatedly in forum: A tambram boy has to get good education and nice placement which will enable relocation.

Then only, he CAN find educated tambram girl as his better half or soul mate (!) as they call it now!

P.S: The foreign mOham is slowly declining because of the high bracket income (new coinage in m. sites) in hamArA Bharat! :peace:
 
The parents of career oriented girls are on the search for ambis who will sponsor for their daughter's master's degree abroad.

If the girl is already well place in any metro city in India, they search for ambis who are willing to relocate! The girls want to live

near their parents and make sure that the persons for baby sitting in future are READY! :cool:
 
I am in chennai now and heard three instances of brahmin girls (iyer) with non brahmin and non south indian husbands, all love marriages, ending in divorce after a few years. in one case the punjabi husband has retained the 1.5 crore flat and remarried, the wife moving out with her ten year old son. whether arranged or cupid induced, the couple have to work hard to stay married. love marriage has more pot holes to jump, because expectations from the partner are high.

krish44 said:
Divorces these days are mostly because of incapacity of many to meet the needs of modern living. many do not have the maturity to face up to the needs .

the divorces are not because of horoscopes , gothras , stars or sub castes which most parents are stubborn about.

parents try to thrust many of their choices on children who look for spouses with a different mindset.

I have found that matches where children are allowed to freely decide their mates work out better than parent selected matches.
Click to expand...
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Krish Sir,

The business strategies won't work in matrimonial alliances! :nono:

We are searching for a good match for our nephew and came across a profile (known family to a friend) and all the photos of the

girl were taken from a particular angle. I guessed that the girl might be very very bulky but the parents did not agree and went to

see her. She was more bulky than I described and they decided not to proceed since the boy is pencil thin! So, a good profile or

nice pictures won't work all the time.

I keep on writing repeatedly in forum: A tambram boy has to get good education and nice placement which will enable relocation.

Then only, he CAN find educated tambram girl as his better half or soul mate (!) as they call it now!

P.S: The foreign mOham is slowly declining because of the high bracket income (new coinage in m. sites) in hamArA Bharat! :peace:
Click to expand...
I know photos can lie. But what do you have against bulky girls?

What happens if thin girls blow up after marriage [Divorce?]

I agree , only education and job for boys are the basic criteria for selection by girls. but they need to be good looking also.


who will relocate is a tricky question .boy or girl.The smarter one girls mostly win and have their way

I agree some boys get well paid in india . they have to be from top IITs or IIMs if they are young. IIM types unfortunately carry a huge edu loan [this year IIM A,B,C

are charging 18 lakhs ].
 
Raji Ram said:
The parents of career oriented girls are on the search for ambis who will sponsor for their daughter's master's degree abroad.

If the girl is already well place in any metro city in India, they search for ambis who are willing to relocate! The girls want to live

near their parents and make sure that the persons for baby sitting in future are READY! :cool:
Click to expand...
Boys due to immaturity marry without thinking too much if they find a girl attractive.

Girls plot their way coldly -foreign edu. sponsorship,high boys salary, staying near girls parents,etc.

The brahmin girls do not mind compromising on caste if necessary to achieve this objective
 
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