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Marriage of brahmin boys - why late or no?

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K

KANTHADAI R RAAMAKRISHNAN

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recent trend is that brahmin boys do not get married as girls are not available! this is a funny situation! i remember that people used to say " en ponnukku varan thedi en kall cheruppu thenchu pochu". i witnessed this my self. while walking the roads of aadhambakkam in chennai in search of a 'varan" for my b-in-ls educaed daughtr his chappal gave way!

but the present condition is other way! 180 degree opposite. people run with boys horoscope! why this condotion? i feel this is due to vanity. vanity thy name is women! girls just for vanity sake postpone marriage. and the parents also to be blamed. they need the money and feel a pseudo feeling of social upliftment. the moment their daughter starts earning the parents forget the previous stages and would not talk to people whose sons are not academically equal to their daughter! this is not the case with other communities. a unbiased study should be made to know the core reason for refusal of the so called, educated girls, for an early marriage. and mostly such girls are hooked by other community at a stage when they can nether refuse nor accept. the girls are in dilemma. the result is undesiarable. i would like to know from the members how to overcome this situation? i am open for criticism . i need not be hundred persent right. there can be some wrong understanding by me. but i want that our boys should get married soon so that the brahmin community is saved from getting dwindled.

k r raamakrishnan
 
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KANTHADAI R RAAMAKRISHNAN said:
recent trend is that brahmin boys do not get married as girls are not available! this is a funny situation! i remember that people used to say " en ponnukku varan thedi en kall cheruppu thenchu pochu". i witnessed this my self. while walking the roads of aadhambakkam in chennai in search of a 'varan" for my b-in-ls educaed daughtr his chappal gave way!

but the present condition is other way! 180 degree opposite. people run with boys horoscope! why this condotion? i feel this is due to vanity. vanity thy name is women! girls just for vanity sake postpone marriage. and the parents also to be blamed. they need the money and feel a pseudo feeling of social upliftment. the moment their daughter starts earning the parents forget the previous stages and would not talk to people whose sons are not academically equal to their daughter! this is not the case with other communities. a unbiased study should be made to know the core reason for refusal of the so called, educated girls, for an early marriage. and mostly such girls are hooked by other community at a stage when they can nether refuse nor accept. the girls are in dilemma. the result is undesiarable. i would like to know from the members how to overcome this situation? i am open for criticism . i need not be hundred persent right. there can be some wrong understanding by me. but i want that our boys should get married soon so that the brahmin community is saved from getting dwindled.

k r raamakrishnan
Click to expand...

Dear Sir - I can think of only one reason and that's the dwindling Brahmin population in India. As more and more Brahmins migrate to the West (USA) or to the East (Australia) for want for better opportunities we have this issue. This is true in both boys and girls cases. But I don't think there is anything to worry about it here. It is just a natural cycle.
 
KANTHADAI R RAAMAKRISHNAN said:
recent trend is that brahmin boys do not get married as girls are not available! this is a funny situation! i remember that people used to say " en ponnukku varan thedi en kall cheruppu thenchu pochu". i witnessed this my self. while walking the roads of aadhambakkam in chennai in search of a 'varan" for my b-in-ls educaed daughtr his chappal gave way!

but the present condition is other way! 180 degree opposite. people run with boys horoscope! why this condotion? i feel this is due to vanity. vanity thy name is women! girls just for vanity sake postpone marriage. and the parents also to be blamed. they need the money and feel a pseudo feeling of social upliftment. the moment their daughter starts earning the parents forget the previous stages and would not talk to people whose sons are not academically equal to their daughter! this is not the case with other communities. a unbiased study should be made to know the core reason for refusal of the so called, educated girls, for an early marriage. and mostly such girls are hooked by other community at a stage when they can nether refuse nor accept. the girls are in dilemma. the result is undesiarable. i would like to know from the members how to overcome this situation? i am open for criticism . i need not be hundred persent right. there can be some wrong understanding by me. but i want that our boys should get married soon so that the brahmin community is saved from getting dwindled.

k r raamakrishnan
Click to expand...
I can see what you are going through. Educated TB girls holding good jobs are setting stiff terms for a marriage relationship. these girls are in short supply. also taboos for finding a match in other castes and religion are fading. parents in some cases are not too keen in settling matches because of economic status of girls and retired types also live off them claiming that proper matches are not available. proper social forum for interaction of boys and girls are not available . children are forced to depend on class mates or colleagues in workplace as possible matches ,compromising on caste and religion due to comfort level with these entities. unless parents of girls and boys reform ,future of tb boys can be ensured only if they take the initiative and find matches for themselves wooing tb girls. parents can take a backseat as they cannot deliver
 
This topic has been discussed several times in our forum.

But I think there will be tireless replies here too! :typing:
 
Raji Ram said:
This topic has been discussed several times in our forum.

But I think there will be tireless replies here too! :typing:
Click to expand...
KRR is concerned about TB boys not finding matches and has not got a single response for two weeks. I am also aware the topic has been dissected in this forum . He is a recent member with a few posts and points and is required to be made a little comfortable . I have time to spare for him.hence my response. after naras exit there are no altercations and it is a boring sunday morning . will some one do something to relieve this boredom
 
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KANTHADAI R RAAMAKRISHNAN said:
recent trend is that brahmin boys do not get married as girls are not available! this is a funny situation! i remember that people used to say " en ponnukku varan thedi en kall cheruppu thenchu pochu". i witnessed this my self. while walking the roads of aadhambakkam in chennai in search of a 'varan" for my b-in-ls educaed daughtr his chappal gave way!

but the present condition is other way! 180 degree opposite. people run with boys horoscope! why this condotion? i feel this is due to vanity. vanity thy name is women! girls just for vanity sake postpone marriage. and the parents also to be blamed. they need the money and feel a pseudo feeling of social upliftment. the moment their daughter starts earning the parents forget the previous stages and would not talk to people whose sons are not academically equal to their daughter! this is not the case with other communities. a unbiased study should be made to know the core reason for refusal of the so called, educated girls, for an early marriage. and mostly such girls are hooked by other community at a stage when they can nether refuse nor accept. the girls are in dilemma. the result is undesiarable. i would like to know from the members how to overcome this situation? i am open for criticism . i need not be hundred persent right. there can be some wrong understanding by me. but i want that our boys should get married soon so that the brahmin community is saved from getting dwindled.

k r raamakrishnan
Click to expand...

Shri Raamakrishnan,

This is a topic which has been discussed time and again, in this forum, during the last three years or more. But all those discussions have not brought about any change in the situation.

Brahmin girls to day are educated as high or even higher than the brahmin boys. The girls also seem to be preferred for jobs as they easily get very well-paying jobs. Such highly educated and highly earning girls just do not want to marry any boy just to please their parents, etc. The girls generally want to ensure for themselves a very luxurious life and search for a boy who will be able to ensure such lifelong luxury and affluence. The girls' parents - who are also brahmins, incidentally - also think much the same way and so ordinarily placed brahmin boys are unable to get brahmin brides.

This problem can be solved effectively, only if we brahmins, unanimously decide that we will not educate our girls beyond the High School or +2 stage and that bahmin girls will have to be married before they reach the age of 20 or 21. Kindly see, in this connection, my post here - in another thread. You will find that not even one person has noticed that post.

It is this hypocrisy and greed for material pleasures, of brahmins, which is appalling. There is therefore, no point in shouting about our brahmin boys not getting married. Ask them to marry any girl of any caste or religion and then the problem will get solved automatically.
 
I am reminded of a Tamil article written many years ago, where one officer finds out a solution to equalize the ability of all the

employees of his company! The idea is to tie the right hand of the efficient persons so that they can not move it! Now, all the

inefficient persons will be equal to the 'one handed' efficient persons!

We have to think of educating brahmin boys to reach high levels, instead of stopping brahmin girls' education at higher secondary

school level. In the earlier generations, many SSLC girls used to marry top ranking officers. I have seen some of them turn more

arrogant than the educated women!
 
A Brahmins boy should satisfy these conditions to get a bride from his own clan.

1. Should not be more than two years older than the girl.

2. Masters / doctorate degree from reputed institutions.

3. Salary should be above 80 K per month.

4. Should not have dependent parents. ( they are nick named Rahu and Ketu)

5. Girl should be allowed to spend her whole income as per her wish.

6. Household chores should be equally divided - better if the guy takes care of everything.

7. Should NOT smoke but can be a social drinker.

8. Should be handsome and 3 to 6 inches taller than the girl.

9. Should treat the girl's parents as his own parents (his parents can depend on some old age home!)

10. The most important point: Boy should relocate to the place where the girl works.

If the above 'ten commandments' are satisfied, he MAY get a 'soul mate' from his own community! :thumb:
 
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hi krish sir,

after naras exit there are no altercations and it is a boring sunday morning . will some one do something to relieve this boredom


really...........i cant control my laughing...lol
 
Raji Ram said:
A Brahmins boy should satisfy these conditions to get a bride from his own clan.

1. Should not be more than two years older than the girl.

2. Masters / doctorate degree from reputed institutions.

3. Salary should be above 80 K per month.

4. Should not have dependent parents. ( they are nick named Rahu and Ketu)

5. Girl should be allowed to spend her whole income as per her wish.

6. Household chores should be equally divided - better if the guy takes care of everything.

7. Should NOT smoke but can be a social drinker.

8. Should be handsome and 3 to 6 inches taller than the girl.

9. Should treat the girl's parents as his own parents (his parents can depend on some old age home!)

10. The most important point: Boy should relocate to the place where the girl works.

If the above 'ten commandments' are satisfied, he MAY get a 'soul mate' from his own community! :thumb:
Click to expand...
RRji you have come to grips with the real issues. all the specs are Ok except 4/9 is a bit perverse. It would not be a bad idea the TB girls marry anyone of their choice overcoming the caste and religion barrier. TB boys cannot match upto them. expecting a girl not to acquire higher qualifications as suggested by a member shows the mindset of a TB senior belonging to 19th century.when will TBs change and accept the ground realities
 
sangom said:

Shri Raamakrishnan,

This is a topic which has been discussed time and again, in this forum, during the last three years or more. But all those discussions have not brought about any change in the situation.

Brahmin girls to day are educated as high or even higher than the brahmin boys. The girls also seem to be preferred for jobs as they easily get very well-paying jobs. Such highly educated and highly earning girls just do not want to marry any boy just to please their parents, etc. The girls generally want to ensure for themselves a very luxurious life and search for a boy who will be able to ensure such lifelong luxury and affluence. The girls' parents - who are also brahmins, incidentally - also think much the same way and so ordinarily placed brahmin boys are unable to get brahmin brides.

This problem can be solved effectively, only if we brahmins, unanimously decide that we will not educate our girls beyond the High School or +2 stage and that bahmin girls will have to be married before they reach the age of 20 or 21. Kindly see, in this connection, my post here - in another thread. You will find that not even one person has noticed that post.

It is this hypocrisy and greed for material pleasures, of brahmins, which is appalling. There is therefore, no point in shouting about our brahmin boys not getting married. Ask them to marry any girl of any caste or religion and then the problem will get solved automatically.
Click to expand...
sangom ji
do you have daughters
 
Mrs. RR. Well said. I think Point no. 10 can be relaxed if the boy is willing/able to relocate the girl to London, New York, San Francisco, Sydney or minimum Singapore or Dubai.

I noticed that you did not mention vegetarianism. Is this a result of Kali Yuga? Or maybe 11 commandments does not sound quite so neat? :D


Raji Ram said:
A Brahmins boy should satisfy these conditions to get a bride from his own clan.

1. Should not be more than two years older than the girl.

2. Masters / doctorate degree from reputed institutions.

3. Salary should be above 80 K per month.

4. Should not have dependent parents. ( they are nick named Rahu and Ketu)

5. Girl should be allowed to spend her whole income as per her wish.

6. Household chores should be equally divided - better if the guy takes care of everything.

7. Should NOT smoke but can be a social drinker.

8. Should be handsome and 3 to 6 inches taller than the girl.

9. Should treat the girl's parents as his own parents (his parents can depend on some old age home!)

10. The most important point: Boy should relocate to the place where the girl works.

If the above 'ten commandments' are satisfied, he MAY get a 'soul mate' from his own community! :thumb:
Click to expand...
 
biswa said:
Mrs. RR. Well said. I think Point no. 10 can be relaxed if the boy is willing/able to relocate the girl to London, New York, San Francisco, Sydney or minimum Singapore or Dubai.

I noticed that you did not mention vegetarianism. Is this a result of Kali Yuga? Or maybe 11 commandments does not sound quite so neat? :D
Click to expand...
you know biswa ji
girls would like to go to US or foreign countries on their own merit.
Also I know many girls do not like a foreign groom as they fear life abroad for them is not comfortable due to lack of domestic help[if they are available ,it is at a high price -8 or 9 dollars/hour].many men are not competent to to do house work.these girls feel it is better to stay married or unmarried in india
 
krish44 said:
........ after naras exit there are no altercations and it is a boring sunday morning . will some one do something to relieve this boredom
Click to expand...
There are a few members who wished for this! :pray2:
Why don't you start getting signatures campaign to :welcome: Sir Ji back and sent the result to Praveen?

I am ready to sign first! :thumb:

Wonder whether he will accept the invitation, though! :)
 
biswa said:
Mrs. RR. Well said. I think Point no. 10 can be relaxed if the boy is willing/able to relocate the girl to London, New York, San Francisco, Sydney or minimum Singapore or Dubai.

I noticed that you did not mention vegetarianism. Is this a result of Kali Yuga? Or maybe 11 commandments does not sound quite so neat? :D
Click to expand...
Dear Biswa Sir,

Recently one of my friends had tough time while selecting a suitable bride for her son, working in the U S of A, since many girls are

very well placed in MNCs and don't wish to relocate. They want to set up their 'thani kudiththanam' in a flat very near to their parents

residence. After all, it is a good idea to have the proper 'baby sitters' nearby, since they are needed in future! Those who are budding

artists in music field want 'goojA thookki' as partner. The ego of the brahmin boy does not accept the girl's demands! I remember

to have had a request from one of my friends, whose daughter is good in Carnatic music, to search for a guy like 'Ragunathan'!!

You might know that one of the leading Carnatic artists is Smt. Sudha Raghunathan.

There is a fear that tambram community (in fact any other brahmin community) will become extinct soon! It is high time the Gurus

advise to accept all the girls who marry brahmin boys as brahmins, hoping that the girls will also accept it! :)

P.S: Regarding food habits, generally it is said 'I don't mind' and hence I did not mention in the 'Ten commandments'.
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Biswa Sir,

Recently one of my friends had tough time while selecting a suitable bride for her son, working in the U S of A, since many girls are

very well placed in MNCs and don't wish to relocate. They want to set up their 'thani kudiththanam' in a flat very near to their parents

residence. After all, it is a good idea to have the proper 'baby sitters' nearby, since they are needed in future! Those who are budding

artists in music field want 'goojA thookki' as partner. The ego of the brahmin boy does not accept the girl's demands! I remember

to have had a request from one of my friends, whose daughter is good in Carnatic music, to search for a guy like 'Ragunathan'!!

You might know that one of the leading Carnatic artists is Smt. Sudha Raghunathan.

There is a fear that tambram community (in fact any other brahmin community) will become extinct soon! It is high time the Gurus

advise to accept all the girls who marry brahmin boys as brahmins, hoping that the girls will also accept it! :)

P.S: Regarding food habits, generally it is said 'I don't mind' and hence I did not mention in the 'Ten commandments'.
Click to expand...
RRji
These educated girls automatically assume that their parents would be baby sitters. many senior citizens get exploited like this. some also end up as cooks for their daughters/DILs . some end up in foreign countries as virtual unpaid servants and prisoners in homes of their children . we should have senior citizen protection laws at the earliest.TBs will not become extinct . TB girls will carry their value systems nurtured lovingly by their ambitious mothers to damage other castes and communities. TB girls will also get an oppurtunity to emasculate boys of other castes and they will take the place of TB boys. TB boys are lucky. They can also.expand the scope of their search and accept other castes. NB girls can get get these TB boys at a discount and become brahmins as you suggest. I do not know if NB girls will raiseto the bait
 
Why this masochism? There are enough morning events in manesar plant to force suzuki to make all cars in gujarat and sell to maruti for distribution.

Raji Ram said:
There are a few members who wished for this! :pray2:
Why don't you start getting signatures campaign to :welcome: Sir Ji back and sent the result to Praveen?

I am ready to sign first! :thumb:

Wonder whether he will accept the invitation, though! :)
Click to expand...
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Biswa Sir,

Recently one of my friends had tough time while selecting a suitable bride for her son, working in the U S of A, since many girls are

very well placed in MNCs and don't wish to relocate. They want to set up their 'thani kudiththanam' in a flat very near to their parents

residence. After all, it is a good idea to have the proper 'baby sitters' nearby, since they are needed in future! Those who are budding

artists in music field want 'goojA thookki' as partner. The ego of the brahmin boy does not accept the girl's demands! I remember

to have had a request from one of my friends, whose daughter is good in Carnatic music, to search for a guy like 'Ragunathan'!!

You might know that one of the leading Carnatic artists is Smt. Sudha Raghunathan.

There is a fear that tambram community (in fact any other brahmin community) will become extinct soon! It is high time the Gurus

advise to accept all the girls who marry brahmin boys as brahmins, hoping that the girls will also accept it! :)

P.S: Regarding food habits, generally it is said 'I don't mind' and hence I did not mention in the 'Ten commandments'.
Click to expand...


Dear Mrs. Raji Ram,

Well said. I agree with every word of yours. Recently one Girl rejected the alliance just before two months of the Muhurtham date,( for which "nichyathaartham" took place an year back). The alleged reason is that the boy's job may not be permanent in US. The boy, (only son for his parents ) is well qualified and holding good position and living in US for five years. This is inspite of the fact she had gone to US with her brother to meet the boy in person and to find out his position etc. The boy's parents were shell shocked by this sudden turn of events, since they had distributed the invitations to all the relatives and friends. They had to contact all those invitees apologetically over phone to inform the cancellation of the wedding.
Parents of the girl had to face equally worse situation and financial loss as well.
Both the parents have to face "loss of face" in their families due to this event.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
 
sarang said:
Why this masochism? There are enough morning events in manesar plant to force suzuki to make all cars in gujarat and sell to maruti for distribution.
Click to expand...
Since Krish Sir seems to miss him too much, I just gave an idea!

Nothing more, Sir! :)
 
Raji Ram said:
There are a few members who wished for this! :pray2:
Why don't you start getting signatures campaign to :welcome: Sir Ji back and sent the result to Praveen?

I am ready to sign first! :thumb:

Wonder whether he will accept the invitation, though! :)
Click to expand...

:)
 
Brahmanyan said:
Dear Mrs. Raji Ram,

Well said. I agree with every word of yours. Recently one Girl rejected the alliance just before two months of the Muhurtham date,( for which "nichyathaartham" took place an year back). The alleged reason is that the boy's job may not be permanent in US. The boy, (only son for his parents ) is well qualified and holding good position and living in US for five years. This is inspite of the fact she had gone to US with her brother to meet the boy in person and to find out his position etc. The boy's parents were shell shocked by this sudden turn of events, since they had distributed the invitations to all the relatives and friends. They had to contact all those invitees apologetically over phone to inform the cancellation of the wedding.
Parents of the girl had to face equally worse situation and financial loss as well.
Both the parents have to face "loss of face" in their families due to this event.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
Click to expand...
Brahmanyan ji
My close relation finalised the marriage of his daughter in US and made a trip to meet the boy in US and also got the clearance of boys parents in chennai. the boy indicated that he could not go to chennai in near future and wanted the marriage in US . my relation got suspicious and checked his criminal record . found he had assaulted a cop and resisted arrest after drinking. the marriage got called off . these days foreign marriages are risky .
 
Raji Ram said:
A Brahmins boy should satisfy these conditions to get a bride from his own clan.

1. Should not be more than two years older than the girl.

2. Masters / doctorate degree from reputed institutions.

3. Salary should be above 80 K per month.

4. Should not have dependent parents. ( they are nick named Rahu and Ketu)

5. Girl should be allowed to spend her whole income as per her wish.

6. Household chores should be equally divided - better if the guy takes care of everything.

7. Should NOT smoke but can be a social drinker.

8. Should be handsome and 3 to 6 inches taller than the girl.

9. Should treat the girl's parents as his own parents (his parents can depend on some old age home!)

10. The most important point: Boy should relocate to the place where the girl works.

If the above 'ten commandments' are satisfied, he MAY get a 'soul mate' from his own community! :thumb:
Click to expand...

Madam,
How many sons do you have ? :)
 
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