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Query on Shraddham

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My father in law passed away three years back.Initially my husband and his younger brother did Shraddham together.Now they want to do separately.I want to know if this is ok.Two brothers doing separately?We do live in different states.Plus I want to confirm if my husband's father,his father's father (paternal)grandfather and (paternal) great grandfather and the respective grandmothers are the ones invoked during Shraddh.I understand this is not an answer to your post,but I couldn't find a way to post my question.Sorry about that.
 
our sastras says that each one must do separately on the same day. ancesters can come at the same time to many places where they are called.
 
1) As per sastra, if a karta has so many children, the last one initiates shradha karma with the help of brahmin priest and the eldest son has to perform thereafter. If so, where is the logic and sanctity, if they do separately? and that too in different places?

2) when a karta is alive and his children are in different places and invite him for lunch same time at their homes, how is it possible for the living Karta to go to different places on the same day same time. Is it not the same logic after death too.

3) Now-a-days without money, nothing is possible, including Brahmin priests support. If so, Kartha's children, one may be rich, another may be some what ok, and the third or so, may be poor by virtue of his karma. Imagine the plight of the poor son who cannot afford to pay dhakshina to priest leave alone buying material for shrardha. In such a case why he should not join with his sibbling and perform this act?
 
rajvima,

1. The sastras say that brothers of a family where ancestral properties have been partitioned and the brothers live separately , the sradhdham should be performed separately by all the brothers. This means, separate homams, separate nimanthrana brahmins, and separate food preparation. If they choose to join together and do it even then the homams should be separate and food preparation should be separate.


2. In your case the two brothers live separately and so what is said above will be applicable. They can jolly well perform the sradhdham separately at their different places of residence on the same day same thithi.


3. The pithrus invoked during the sradhdham are as mentioned by you.


4. If the brothers live in a joint family with common properties, just one sraddham can be performed by joining together.


This is the position as available in sastras. Sastras use the sanskrit term "avibakta" to indicate joint family.
 
sastram vs sampradayam

rajvima,

1. The sastras say that brothers of a family where ancestral properties have been partitioned and the brothers live separately , the sradhdham should be performed separately by all the brothers. This means, separate homams, separate nimanthrana brahmins, and separate food preparation. If they choose to join together and do it even then the homams should be separate and food preparation should be separate.


2. In your case the two brothers live separately and so what is said above will be applicable. They can jolly well perform the sradhdham separately at their different places of residence on the same day same thithi.


3. The pithrus invoked during the sradhdham are as mentioned by you.


4. If the brothers live in a joint family with common properties, just one sraddham can be performed by joining together.


This is the position as available in sastras. Sastras use the sanskrit term "avibakta" to indicate joint family.


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i understand the same sastra says, if a deceased had so many children, the last son shall start the ceremony with the help of Brahmin priest and the eldest one shall perform therafter. Middle sibling are only being a spectator of the ceremony. If it is so, if the sradhdham is done separately by the respective children, where is the question of last son initiating the ceremony and the first one performing it. the logic goes awry without any sanctity. Also, if children do shraddha separately, will not amount to say that the deceased had only one son, as there is no initiation of last son in this individual shrardha. Can this be acceptable when in reality the deceased had so many children and for the sake of shrardha only one son.
For me shrardha is only a sampradayam and not sastra, that is why one can see variance in performing shrardha as it varies from place to place - Tirunelveli style is different from Thanjavur style and other places.
 
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i understand the same sastra says, if a deceased had so many children, the last son shall start the ceremony with the help of Brahmin priest and the eldest one shall perform therafter. Middle sibling are only being a spectator of the ceremony. If it is so, if the sradhdham is done separately by the respective children, where is the question of last son initiating the ceremony and the first one performing it. the logic goes awry without any sanctity. Also, if children do shraddha separately, will not amount to say that the deceased had only one son, as there is no initiation of last son in this individual shrardha. Can this be acceptable when in reality the deceased had so many children and for the sake of shrardha only one son.
For me shrardha is only a sampradayam and not sastra, that is why one can see variance in performing shrardha as it varies from place to place - Tirunelveli style is different from Thanjavur style and other places.

1. If all the seven or eight sons or even more are performing the sradhdham together in one place and if they are in a joint family, the youngest starts and others follow with a single homam, single set of nimanthrana brahmins, single set of pindaprathaanam etc., and the food is prepared from a single kitchen. If the eight members perform at different places, or if they perform at the same place even though they have already divided the ancestral properties and are living separately, then there has to be seven or eight or more homams etc., This is what sastra says.

2. Sastra and sampradhayam are different. They are not the same. Sampradhayam may vary from Thanjavur to Tirunelvely to Palghat but not sastra.
 
sastram vs sampradayam

1. If all the seven or eight sons or even more are performing the sradhdham together in one place and if they are in a joint family, the youngest starts and others follow with a single homam, single set of nimanthrana brahmins, single set of pindaprathaanam etc., and the food is prepared from a single kitchen. If the eight members perform at different places, or if they perform at the same place even though they have already divided the ancestral properties and are living separately, then there has to be seven or eight or more homams etc., This is what sastra says.

2. Sastra and sampradhayam are different. They are not the same. Sampradhayam may vary from Thanjavur to Tirunelvely to Palghat but not sastra.

Thanks for your mail sir. but still i am unable to convince with the concept doing shraddha individually in spite of the property being bifurcated, as the reality is he has so many children.... and he is the first........ and the other is the last (I am talking with reference to vaadhyar's insistance on this - as this will shrink his panjakacham; but not on kartha's interest on doing separately). If so, the initiation of shrardha has to be done by the last son and continue performance by the first son.
secondly the shrardha appears to be mixture of SASTRAM and SAMPRADHYAM and the later is more in the performance (including preparation of meals, elaboration of certain act during shrardha - because many a times i observed while our vaadhyar telling you have to do this, this is the system, it should not be done, etc. when we interact, he will immediately say oh you are Thanjavur, I am from Tirunelvelli, in Tirunelveli, it is like this, etc.). Why I am specific on this is, if it is sampradhaya, why we should not do simplistically.
 
We are four brothers living in different places; one is abroad. our parents - mother's ceremony comes in April/May and father's in August/september. Eldest brother cannot sit in front of homam fire - he is post heart operation. So other brothers do it for him. some times we join and most of the time the brother abroad cannot make two trips every year for the ceremonies. It is all in our minds. I strongly believe my parents will come when we, four sons, call them on the day of their thithi's wherever we are. We loved them so much and they will definitely respond to their sons, in multiple forms and in multiple places, irrespective of what vedas, or sastras or sampradayas say. It is all in our belief.

a.sundararaman
 
We are four brothers living in different places; one is abroad. our parents - mother's ceremony comes in April/May and father's in August/september. Eldest brother cannot sit in front of homam fire - he is post heart operation. So other brothers do it for him. some times we join and most of the time the brother abroad cannot make two trips every year for the ceremonies. It is all in our minds. I strongly believe my parents will come when we, four sons, call them on the day of their thithi's wherever we are. We loved them so much and they will definitely respond to their sons, in multiple forms and in multiple places, irrespective of what vedas, or sastras or sampradayas say. It is all in our belief.

a.sundararaman

Sri Sundaraman ji
I agree with you. nobody argue on the belief or trust system. and also haves doing it in whatever way there is also no problem. I can make umpteen number of purohits to say whatever i do is right (just at that point of time at least) and also as per Dharma, etc, etc. when i pay more than other's pay. It is only a temporary solace the human being expects. Otherwise imagin why looters go and pay Tirupati hundi huge sums. Belief or trust or mental solace that God has also accepted by looting money and he is my partner to support whatever i do? my interaction in this site is only to get enlightened whether shrardha is sastram or only sampradhaya. If it is only sampradhaya, atleast i can enlighten other havenots to give up or do it in your own way. Many of our learnt people and also some experts in this site also mentioned that NO MENTION ABOUT SHRARDHA IN VEDAs which we claim our guiding factor. Then how the shrardha has come into practice?

I quote here of the subject, one of the purohit in our village, he takes less money from the rich and demands more from other rich and poor. The intention is atleast that rich person will support whatever he does is right and claims reasonable. The rich will come and say, i offered him more but he refused to take and taken only less. I do not want to explain further, you can understand the strategy played by the purohit.
 
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