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Divorce on rise

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R

Ramacchandran

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Please ref web of times of India

http://mobiletoi.timesofindia.com/m...hennai&edname=&articleid=Ar00500&publabel=TOI

The parents of the groom and bride are encouraging this!

The burden of the brides start soon she completes the course. Soon she get a job, her parents advices to buy a house/ flat in her name and the parent start living there. Normally there is only one girl they get, educate her with loan. and buy a car and flat on loan. When the marriage takes place the boy agrees for everything and at later stage, he also get a loan for flat, car education etc.

Now they are to repay the loan with interest. so for their happy life to start they have no money to spend. Even for hospital expenses they demand money from the parent of the boy. The parents refuse to pay, citing they are well employed and they should get a solution on their own. The parent has pension it is of their own.

The difference of opinion starts here and soon it echos in divorce!

This is my view.

Wish other members to place their views
 
hi
like katti sadham in marriage left overs....like wise.....divorce is part of marriage now a days....
 
I do agree that divorce is on the rise, but there may be many individual reasons: from ego clashes to infidelity.
 

When people want to bite off more than they can chew, problems DO arise!

A contented mind is becoming a rare commodity!
 
I don't get it..when marriage itself is not on the rise..how come divorce is on the rise?
 
Please ref web of times of India

http://mobiletoi.timesofindia.com/m...hennai&edname=&articleid=Ar00500&publabel=TOI

The parents of the groom and bride are encouraging this!

The burden of the brides start soon she completes the course. Soon she get a job, her parents advices to buy a house/ flat in her name and the parent start living there. Normally there is only one girl they get, educate her with loan. and buy a car and flat on loan. When the marriage takes place the boy agrees for everything and at later stage, he also get a loan for flat, car education etc.

Now they are to repay the loan with interest. so for their happy life to start they have no money to spend. Even for hospital expenses they demand money from the parent of the boy. The parents refuse to pay, citing they are well employed and they should get a solution on their own. The parent has pension it is of their own.

The difference of opinion starts here and soon it echos in divorce!

This is my view.

Wish other members to place their views

I find this sheer stupidity.

One should save up some money before planning to buy a house so that we pay a higher down payment for the loan and lower monthly installments.

The problem is becos people are purchasing stuff more that what they can afford and all the problems start.

Some people are stupid enough to buy houses in so called posh areas when they get similar houses in less posh area.
Out here new houses are cheaper than old houses..so I only bought new houses in fairly good areas but not too posh areas.

Some of my relatives were dumb enough to buy the similar sized house in a so called posh area that too older 2nd hand house(here property value of houses go up) and paid almost double the amount of what I paid.

So you see.. one has to be smart with financial planning.

I feel the cause of divorce is very rarely finance..it is mainly ego clash,infidelity, got bored of each other and mid life crisis at times.

But that does not mean that those who are still married are having the fun of their life..it is just that some don't want the hassle of divorce..lots of paper work and also being alone is not easy cos who is going to throw the trash out after we had cleared the kitchen?

We surely need a husband for that!LOL

Just to add..if we have a husband with us..we can dress up nicely and even dress to kill cos no one will say anything.
If we are a divorcee and we dress to kill people might start gossiping "OMG look at her yaar..is she trying to fish some guy? Why is she trying to attract attention"

So you see its is better to stay married if we can still tolerate the person becos as I said earlier we do not need to throw the trash and also we can dress to kill!LOL
 
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Please see the profiles in matrimony sites. The girls at age 22 to 24 for marriage is is on rise. They prefer boys at age 26-27., earn one million per month. In one profile I found the girl needs 2.5 million! Who is a stupid. At the age of 26, I wonder who will earn Rs2.5 million per annum. Even if the boys earns 2.5 million he will go for girls whose income is 2 million per annum.

I wish Ms Renuka to visit these websites. Further if you visit marriage advisors you will find big ques. Some techies wish to take these advisors to their home, or picnic spots where they can settle many issues.

In one such case I found the girl prefered divorce and rejected the offer to sell the house. The family court tried various methods, but ego came in between. She is only 2 years younger to her husband, and challenged she will get remarriage in couple of years. Even Though she prefered LIG, she is yet to find a match as few grooms who saw her profile which is very highly qualified, earns Rs 10 lakhs per annum at the age of 25 rejected her fearing she will over rule them.

One such bride came to me for my son. You can remember in one of my posting I asked about divorce. (Innocent) but as advised by few members I went to few places and enquired about her and a big story was told.

Some said she is having high BP as she holds a post which keep her on toe 24 hrs a day, and sleepless nights that pulled her down in family life. The parents of this girl enjoys life visiting temples and say they pray for her.

If any reporter from press investigate they will find more.

So to me girls are girls. and there is a big gap on gender. She is best to plan with other's money and herbrand's. and not with her own money as her parents also demand money from her.

The boys needs her money so that they can enjoy life.

So the money holds everything. I am not blaming any one, but the position of planets activating the soul according to which the human dance.
 
Please see the profiles in matrimony sites. The girls at age 22 to 24 for marriage is is on rise. They prefer boys at age 26-27., earn one million per month. In one profile I found the girl needs 2.5 million! Who is a stupid. At the age of 26, I wonder who will earn Rs2.5 million per annum. Even if the boys earns 2.5 million he will go for girls whose income is 2 million per annum.

I wish Ms Renuka to visit these websites. Further if you visit marriage advisors you will find big ques. Some techies wish to take these advisors to their home, or picnic spots where they can settle many issues.

In one such case I found the girl prefered divorce and rejected the offer to sell the house. The family court tried various methods, but ego came in between. She is only 2 years younger to her husband, and challenged she will get remarriage in couple of years. Even Though she prefered LIG, she is yet to find a match as few grooms who saw her profile which is very highly qualified, earns Rs 10 lakhs per annum at the age of 25 rejected her fearing she will over rule them.

One such bride came to me for my son. You can remember in one of my posting I asked about divorce. (Innocent) but as advised by few members I went to few places and enquired about her and a big story was told.

Some said she is having high BP as she holds a post which keep her on toe 24 hrs a day, and sleepless nights that pulled her down in family life. The parents of this girl enjoys life visiting temples and say they pray for her.

If any reporter from press investigate they will find more.

So to me girls are girls. and there is a big gap on gender. She is best to plan with other's money and herbrand's. and not with her own money as her parents also demand money from her.

The boys needs her money so that they can enjoy life.

So the money holds everything. I am not blaming any one, but the position of planets activating the soul according to which the human dance.

Dear Sir,

I have no idea what the situation is in India..but it sure looks as if something is seriously wrong some where.

Out here divorces take place mainly due to infidelity.

Finance and the need for money is never the cause for most divorces out here.

Most people take medical insurances which are sometimes provided by the company they are working for and no fights happen for medical treatment for parents/inlaws cos government hospitals are cheap and also equally good as private medical centres.

Some buy health insurance plans for their family in case of emergency too..so what is the need to fight on finances.


But people should get their priorities right..as you said the girl has a stressful job that too with High BP.
Her priority should be her health and not her job.

What is the use of having money at the expense of health?

If she feels her health is going to be affected by her job she should choose a job that is less stressful.

There are many female doctors I know from the government service who have even refused promotions and pay rise becos that involved a transfer to work and head a hospital in a different state.

Many did not want to upset their family life and miss the chance to see the kids grow and refused their promotions too.

It is not really a sacrifice but just being smart to know what suits us the best.

The problem is these days many just want outward show and do not care even if the core of themselves rots.
 
It is all in the ratios; finance wizards will tell you.

1. Ratio of divorced to married (many choices are possible) is on the rise.
2. Ratio of intercaste/inter religious marriage to divorce is on the rise; a) among mixed population b) among all marriages
3. Ratio of brahmin marriage to divorce among brahmin marriages is on the rise. 1 to 5 means a 500% increase.

It is really weird; numerator - denominator selection can lead to any desired conclusion. Clinical trials are no exception. Like the recent study of ten volunteers proved that coffee disrupts sleep (foe some and not for all).

Even live in couples have some rights; of late many separating couples go to court for division of assets - earnings, lost earnings, expenses, goods purchased, time wasted, mental agony.

Living in will be more painful in future!

I don't get it..when marriage itself is not on the rise..how come divorce is on the rise?
 
I don't get it..when marriage itself is not on the rise..how come divorce is on the rise?
It is the percentage Renu!

Earlier, 60 out of 100 eligible persons got married;

2 out of that 30 couples went for divorce!

Now, 10 out of 100 eligible persons get married;

2 out of that 5 couples go for divorce!!
 
Dear Sir,

I have no idea what the situation is in India..but it sure looks as if something is seriously wrong some where.

Out here divorces take place mainly due to infidelity.

Finance and the need for money is never the cause for most divorces out here.

Most people take medical insurances which are sometimes provided by the company they are working for and no fights happen for medical treatment for parents/inlaws cos government hospitals are cheap and also equally good as private medical centres.

Some buy health insurance plans for their family in case of emergency too..so what is the need to fight on finances.


But people should get their priorities right..as you said the girl has a stressful job that too with High BP.
Her priority should be her health and not her job.

What is the use of having money at the expense of health?

If she feels her health is going to be affected by her job she should choose a job that is less stressful.

There are many female doctors I know from the government service who have even refused promotions and pay rise becos that involved a transfer to work and head a hospital in a different state.

Many did not want to upset their family life and miss the chance to see the kids grow and refused their promotions too.

It is not really a sacrifice but just being smart to know what suits us the best.

The problem is these days many just want outward show and do not care even if the core of themselves rots.

Smt. Renuka,

Since M'sia is an islamic country, it is quite appropriate that the women there have not taken the term "women's emancipation" to such extreme ends as it has somehow happened in India. Here, the laws are also such that the man/husband is now at the mercy of the woman/wife once the marriage is completed. You may see what happened to the Kerala minister Ganesh Kumar recently; of course, he had feet of clay and strutted about for a few days, not knowing what kind of Brahmastra his wife Yamini Thankacchi had in her armoury. Still, it is an eye-opener for all the men and also parents of boys who are in the marriage market to learn, understand and digest the reality of the situation, I will say,

Shri Ramacchandran seems to me to be a person who wishfully yearns for the olden days of male superiority and "maappiLLai muRukku" to prevail once again and that too, in current times itself. That is not possible and the girls are not going to change so quickly. Hence, instead of pinpointing the mistakes of some girls and lamenting about that, it will be better if he decides to find out one of the girls who is the least unsuitable and decide. And then the boy should not be expected to help his parents and look after them in old age etc., as a matter of right; if the DIL allows these only such things can happen and even then it will be according to her (DIL's) dictates. The situation may be as unpalatable as the son of a SC father who, till the other day, was a menial servant in the family and untouchable, but today his son becomes our boss in the office and orders us about.
 
So the balance of power has shifted, possibly due to economic independence of women, and then big egos rule the day. Is that the conclusion?

Money is a strange thing. Personally, I feel I always had enough money. Whether it was in my parents house when I had Rs 5 per day for bus fares, or when I was a student drawing Rs 1500 pm stipend. I never knew what I would do with more money.

Of course I know with some people money is never enough, no matter what they earn.
 
............. Of course I know with some people money is never enough, no matter what they earn.
Dear Biswa Sir,

Even to have a good dharshan of Lord Balaji there are so many varieties of Q-s for His bhakthAs. Rs. 500 ticket

is sold in black market for Rs. 1750. Money talks everywhere. Since bribe is wide spread in India in every field,

people run after money!

I shall give a few examples:

1. Bribe to get a seat in pre K G class for my friend's grandson in a reputed school is Rs. 4.5 lakhs!!

This will be equally shared by three of members of the committee which includes a DIG of police!

2. My brother said that capitation fee for entry into a dental college is Rs. 1 crore!

3. To get a new metro water connection for our house, we shelled out nearly 50 thousands whereas

the receipt was given for Rs. 8,000 only!

4. One decent flat in Sing. Chennai in a good locality costs in crores!

5. Most of the engineering colleges are collecting capitation fees in lakhs which is inversely proportional

to the marks!

6. People don't mind spending money on dress and food! The 'barely there' blouses made with minimal

cloth material costs in thousands. The new arrival in Bangalore is 'golden dosa' @ Rs. 1,011.

The list goes on and on...........

The golden olden days will NEVER return. :pout:
 

'Who will spend money for this?' is a big question on each issue between the earning couples.

Girl wants to have all her money for herself and expect her husband to spend for everything.

This tendency hardly changes and This is the main cause of many divorces.
 

'Who will spend money for this?' is a big question on each issue between the earning couples.

Girl wants to have all her money for herself and expect her husband to spend for everything.

This tendency hardly changes and This is the main cause of many divorces.

Dear RR ji,

You see that's why 50% 50% policy is easier.

Calculate what is spent a month (for the upkeep of home and child) and equally share the expenses.

Purchasing personal stuff one pays for it on their own.

For example: all my personal needs/gym fees/clothes/petrol for my car/repairs of my car etc I use my own money.

Likewise my husband uses his money for his clothes/personal needs/his car petrol repairs etc.

If suddenly something crops up then the bill is shared equally.

Now tell me..what is so hard to follow that??
 

Dear Renu,

Sharing the expenses is a good attitude even if it is not 50-50! But the general tendency of a girl is to

expect her husband spend for everything so that she can save her money for her parents! One non Tamil

Indian girl got married to my friend's son who is settled in the U S of A. She made him spend all his hard

earned money to buy a huge house, and lived with him for about four years. When she had enough bank

balance, she ditched him and went away. Now poor guy is divorced and doesn't want to get married again.

Once bitten ...... In fact the girl wooed him into wedlock, much against his parents' wish.

Is this a case of marriage of convenience? :noidea:
 

Dear Renu,

Sharing the expenses is a good attitude even if it is not 50-50! But the general tendency of a girl is to

expect her husband spend for everything so that she can save her money for her parents! One non Tamil

Indian girl got married to my friend's son who is settled in the U S of A. She made him spend all his hard

earned money to buy a huge house, and lived with him for about four years. When she had enough bank

balance, she ditched him and went away. Now poor guy is divorced and doesn't want to get married again.

Once bitten ...... In fact the girl wooed him into wedlock, much against his parents' wish.

Is this a case of marriage of convenience? :noidea:

hi madam....

Is this a case of marriage of convenience? :noidea:.....

this is look like 7 eleven convenience store....in the USA....
 

Dear Renu,

Sharing the expenses is a good attitude even if it is not 50-50! But the general tendency of a girl is to

expect her husband spend for everything so that she can save her money for her parents! One non Tamil

Indian girl got married to my friend's son who is settled in the U S of A. She made him spend all his hard

earned money to buy a huge house, and lived with him for about four years. When she had enough bank

balance, she ditched him and went away. Now poor guy is divorced and doesn't want to get married again.

Once bitten ...... In fact the girl wooed him into wedlock, much against his parents' wish.

Is this a case of marriage of convenience? :noidea:


Dear RR ji,

Then all I can say such men have no brains and such women have no feelings!


You see when we share expenses....both have a good savings...marriage does not mean draining away a partner.

That is why I always feel a pre nuptial is a good bet these days and also conditions should be laid down before entering the wedlock.

Anyway not all girls can get away with this type of behavior...I knew a nurse who used to work in the government hospital and spend away her husband's money(he was a doctor).

She used to brag to other nurses how rich her husband was and she even used to wear diamonds to work.

One fine day her husband asked her to leave cos he told her he had enough of her spending habits and he divorced her and he married another doctor whom he was working with in the hospital.

So sometimes such stuff do back fire too.
 
We are better. We have a joint account in which all the money is deposited. Each one is free to spend as much for the usual necessities and luxuries.

Dear RR ji,

You see that's why 50% 50% policy is easier.

Calculate what is spent a month (for the upkeep of home and child) and equally share the expenses.

Purchasing personal stuff one pays for it on their own.

For example: all my personal needs/gym fees/clothes/petrol for my car/repairs of my car etc I use my own money.

Likewise my husband uses his money for his clothes/personal needs/his car petrol repairs etc.

If suddenly something crops up then the bill is shared equally.

Now tell me..what is so hard to follow that??
 
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