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Marraige Into an Orthodox Family

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We are awaiting Dhaksha's experience while getting her nose pierced twice! :couch2:

Raji maam, I have indeed pierced both sides. Currently having 2 small gold nose studs, the wounds are expected to heal in 10-15 days. So the holes will be ready for me to wear the larger mookuthis.

It was one of the most painful experiences I had !!!!

They used a needle 2 for each nose, the stud was attached to the back so once the needle goes through the front of the needle was removed and screwed from the inside !!!!!

initially for the first nose I managed to hold back my tears, but for the second one I could not control my tears it was so painful s I let it out. was a bit embarrassing.Hope

It feels odd the studs sitting on my nose, may be because they are new & I am having significant pain, did apply some anti septic cream.

Now interested to see my mookuthi design, just wonder how heavy are they going to be !!!!!!!!!!
 
My own take is that Vadhyar's wife normally supports her husband..My family recently wet to our village (Ganapathy Agraharam) & had lunch at the Vadhyar's house...The wife was dressed in madisar & both husband -wife combo served us delicious food...It was a spiritual atmosphere...We were all very happy with the hospitality...

In case Daksha is OK with the change (as she does not want to offend her husband's family) why should we poke our nose in her belief & value system..

Hope this forum does not morph into a neo liberal movement!!

You are right , that was the advise I received as well, because my fiancé will be entering priesthood I also should be dressed in a traditional manner, because ineviebly the wife becomes a part of husband and a wife dressed in western dress will not be appropriate.

Another fact is not that all ladies in my fiancé's family will dress like, it's the ones who choose priest hood only will do it.
 
We are awaiting Dhaksha's experience while getting her nose pierced twice! :couch2:

Just realised another thing with my nos piercing is they are not both nostrils are not at the same level,was worried a bit initially but now realised they are done like that deliberately. Left is a bit higher than the right side!!!
 
Just realised another thing with my nos piercing is they are not both nostrils are not at the same level,was worried a bit initially but now realised they are done like that deliberately. Left is a bit higher than the right side!!!

Is it because the he left will have a heavier nose stud (8 stoned Ettukkal besari} than the right one (4 stoned?)
 
Is it because the he left will have a heavier nose stud (8 stoned Ettukkal besari} than the right one (4 stoned?)


I assume that to be the case, for my piercing his cousin and 2 aunts came, the left one did look larger but i did not note the level at that moment. (too nervous to even speak at that time worried about the pain)

not sure if that was besari but it was larger

Was happy to see his cousin also dressed the way i am supposed after marriage,she is 31 so good to have some company.
 
ettuk kallu bEsari pOttA eduppA irukkum mookku!! ;)

Source:
aduththAththu ambujaththa

Went out for the first after my piercings, really had difficulties looking people into their eyes, felt really self conscious, but i will adapt myself,will get a chance to see the larger mookuthies once I receive them.

Still I feel surprised all the clothes I have in my wardrobe will be redundant in few of weeks, so enjoying wearing them for the last time, then it will be saree time.
 
hi

i think the any woman can choose their husband....after marriage....her choices are limited.....if she wants her own free will/choices...

better to be unmarried....other wise divorce inevitable,,,,

TBSji, nowadays things are reversed. After marriage, the husband's choices are limited.

This thread is an exceptional case.
 
TBSji, nowadays things are reversed. After marriage, the husband's choices are limited.

This thread is an exceptional case.

I would not say I had no choice, but I clearly understood why they expected it from me, so obliged to change my attire.

Even if you assume that I am forced to do it, at the end of the day I will be doing something which is our culture I don't think there is any thing wrong in following our culture.
 
TBSji, nowadays things are reversed. After marriage, the husband's choices are limited.

This thread is an exceptional case.
hi sir,

i agreed...but many ammanjis still like old fashioned....mumma boys....its hard to change for some men....SOME HOMES

ARE MADURAI....SOME HOMES ARE STILL CHIDAMBARAM....
 
Dear Daksha,

Are you really able to give up wearing any non traditional attire once and for all?

Won't you miss having some amount of variety in life?

I hope you have thought about all these.

Its such a major decision to just transform into someone else.

Have you thought about your preferences?

I know husband and wife become each other eventually but they still retain some of their own selves...even in the Ardhanareeswara concept.. Shiva and Parvati retained 50% of themselves but here it seems you are transforming 100% and leaving 0% of yourself.

I hope my post is not too personal...I apologize in advance if it sounds so...its just that I cant contain my curiosity as how you can be so all sacrificing for a totally different lifestyle.

I admire you to a great extent but cant help thinking if its just the play of love that clouds the mind.
 
Renukaji
It is only bending over backwards to please the better half at the beginning of married life.

You have to give in abundance to get back more later in life.

Ultimately no one loses in the end.

If more unrealistic wants are accepted by a female ,the expectations from the mate also increases manifold.

So the man has to live upto these putting a lot of strain on him.

Ultimately this leads to a reversal with a bang and both coming to a better state of equilibrium with woman occupying the role of leader in the relationship.

Men are short sighted. They do not realise what will happen to them later when they are unreasonable at the beginning of a married life.

In most cases men set harsh terms in the beginning and pay a heavy price later.lol
 
Dear Daksha,

Are you really able to give up wearing any non traditional attire once and for all?

Well that's what I have decided to, it is tough & I am dissapointed indeed, that I will not be able to wear say things like salwar or other western clothing.But once again like I said I am doing it because that is correct & appropriate thing to do

Won't you miss having some amount of variety in life?

Hard to day now, but If I committed to the way I am going to live i hope I will not miss it

I hope you have thought about all these.

Not much though may be I value & respect my fiance's family a lot




Its such a major decision to just transform into someone else.

I don't think I a going to change as a person, only thing that will change is my attire & some extra jewellery, so as a person I am still the same

Have you thought about your preferences?

Only the clothing I am facing restrictions, apart from that I am free to do whatever I want, and I am not going to continue in my profession because we are moving away from Chennai. So apart from that I don't think my preferences will be affected

I know husband and wife become each other eventually but they still retain some of their own selves...even in the Ardhanareeswara concept.. Shiva and Parvati retained 50% of themselves but here it seems you are transforming 100% and leaving 0% of yourself.

Once again it's only my clothing appearance that will change the rest of me will be the same, I am going to be the same person as I am

I hope my post is not too personal...I apologize in advance if it sounds so...its just that I cant contain my curiosity as how you can be so all sacrificing for a totally different lifestyle.

No problems, It's not an issue , although I do get a lot of criticism from my friends and people of my age group for my decision

I admire you to a great extent but cant help thinking if its just the play of love that clouds the mind.

Answer in Green
 
Dear Daksha,

Are you really able to give up wearing any non traditional attire once and for all?

Won't you miss having some amount of variety in life?

I hope you have thought about all these.

Its such a major decision to just transform into someone else.

Have you thought about your preferences?

I know husband and wife become each other eventually but they still retain some of their own selves...even in the Ardhanareeswara concept.. Shiva and Parvati retained 50% of themselves but here it seems you are transforming 100% and leaving 0% of yourself.

I hope my post is not too personal...I apologize in advance if it sounds so...its just that I cant contain my curiosity as how you can be so all sacrificing for a totally different lifestyle.

I admire you to a great extent but cant help thinking if its just the play of love that clouds the mind.

hi

someone?......not at alll.....after marriage.....its the SAME SOUL WITH TWO PHYSICAL BODIES......he is not someone...

HE IS THE HUSBAND....இது எப்படி இருக்கு?.....
 
hi

someone?......not at alll.....after marriage.....its the SAME SOUL WITH TWO PHYSICAL BODIES......he is not someone...

HE IS THE HUSBAND....இது எப்படி இருக்கு?.....

Dear TBS Garu,

I wrote Its such a major decision to just transform into someone else.

I meant that ..She is becoming a whole new person by taking on a new identity for herself by changing everything from lifestyle to dressing..a total metamorphosis.

I did not mean that she is becoming her husband.
 
Got the info on my 7stone vaira thodu

Each thodu is 5.4 grams,with a diameter of 1.25 cm

Also should the madisar worn during muhurtham be in Red only ?
 
Krishji,

We should not only blame men. Often there are women involved: MIL, SIL etc.

Renukaji
It is only bending over backwards to please the better half at the beginning of married life.

You have to give in abundance to get back more later in life.

Ultimately no one loses in the end.

If more unrealistic wants are accepted by a female ,the expectations from the mate also increases manifold.

So the man has to live upto these putting a lot of strain on him.

Ultimately this leads to a reversal with a bang and both coming to a better state of equilibrium with woman occupying the role of leader in the relationship.

Men are short sighted. They do not realise what will happen to them later when they are unreasonable at the beginning of a married life.

In most cases men set harsh terms in the beginning and pay a heavy price later.lol
 
Daksha,

Your decision is the best under the circumstances...When I read some of the comments I am reminded of the quote

“People will always have opinions about your decision because they're not courageous enough to take action on their opinion.”

You have gone as per your belief and inner voice..Hats off to you
 
Daksha,

Your decision is the best under the circumstances...When I read some of the comments I am reminded of the quote

“People will always have opinions about your decision because they're not courageous enough to take action on their opinion.”

You have gone as per your belief and inner voice..Hats off to you

Thank you for your encouragement, I am aware I have made a very tough but a sound decision,any way as a person & relationships are concerned I am going to be the same person.

Only thing that will change is my clothing & some restrictions that will come along with it.
 
Thank you for your encouragement, I am aware I have made a very tough but a sound decision,any way as a person & relationships are concerned I am going to be the same person.

Only thing that will change is my clothing & some restrictions that will come along with it.

Daksha, you come across as a well-balanced, collected person in your posts. I hope your husband and family appreciate you.
God bless you, wishing you a life of peace.
 
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