H
hariharan1972
Guest
Often Wondered what are the pre-requisites to be a part of the “intelligentsia” in Tamil Nadu
My thoughts -
a) Denounce anything related to Hinduism. It is perfectly fine if your spouse/children are staunch devotees
b) If you are a movie star ensure that you play in atleast 1 or preferably all the foll roles
Rickshaw puller/coolie/’local pattarai’; living in a slum; romance a very very fair iyer/iyengar girl; sing 3 duets & 1 thathuva paadal; sermonise the heroine’s father about ‘no caste no creed no rich no poor’ & “reform him”. In the end give alwa to the slum dwellers & settle with your heroine in her bungalow. Casteism is dead.
Anti-hero; take on the caste-conscious local pannaiyar; rebel against him; hide in forest; ‘people with you police against you’ – depending on whether the police is a forgotten hero or a struggling villain either change him or kill him; romance a fair looking girl; till the penultimate scene don’t know that she is pannaiyar’s daughter ; with her help finish her father & establish social justice.
You are padinnettu patti (18 villages to the uninitiated) panchayat leader; Harvard MBA fair North Indian girl comes to the village; She “falls for you”; Upper caste son of the villain makes a lower caste girl pregnant; he refuses to marry her; Bring your eyes into a deep red for a close shot – if difficult contract conjunctivitis before the shoot; take a silambu & thrash the hell out of the villain’s son till he is about 90% dead; he reforms & marries the girl; villain goes mad; in the final fight, slice him in full public view using the sword of the kaval deivam. Social justice is established.
c) Say ‘tamizh yendan moochu ; tamizh yendan peechu’. Ensure all in your parambarai - son, grandson, great grandson upto your gardener’s son are educated in American Universities
d) Use ‘Thooya Tamizh’ while speaking on camera. Include terms like ‘parinama valarchi’ ; ‘tamizhin maatchimai’ in good measure
e) Proclaim you are the truest of all Dravidans. If you are a movie producer however book ‘arya’ for your movie as hero.
f) Say ‘vetti’ (‘veshti’ is brahmanical mind you !!!) is the traditional attire of tamilians. However attend all functions in a spotless white kurta pyjama.
g) If you are a lyricist, pen “tamil” songs using ‘meaningful & researched’ tamil words like ‘hai re hai re hai rabba’ interspersed with “50 kg”, “Taj Mahal” etc…
h) Denounce ‘uruva vazhipaadu’ – Idol worship. However garland ‘Periyar’/ ‘Anna’ / ‘Ambedkar’ statues on their birthdays/anniversaries. Ignore Rajaji.
i) Issue public messages on Id/Ramzan/Christamas/Muharram. Maintain a stoic silence on Diwali.
j) Start a signature campaign for pardon to ‘Afzal’
k) If you are a communist, ignore China’s claim on Arunachal Pradesh. Don’t worry about W Bengal becoming half-bangladesh.
l) Denounce Astrology. However the mag you edit give a free copy for ‘Guru peryarchi palangal’ or if you run a newspaper have a ‘Sothidam’ (“Jo” is vadamozhi mind you) section
m) Wear vetti to parliament esp while presenting budget. Include 2/3 kurals in budget speech.
n) Denounce caste specific ads for marriages but ensure your son/daughter is married into a Brahmin fold.
o) Participate in a protest march to covert the 69% reservation into 96% reservation.
p) Support Saddam Hussein
q) If you own a channel don’t miss to telecast “special programmes” on every hindu festival to get high TRPs & AD revenues but don’t indulge in any public private celebrations
r) Call Brahmins as “paarpaan”
s) Get the film industry to organize a “paarattu vizha” where all heros’ sons of soil heap praises on you. Import all fair looking North Indian girls for skimpy clad dances
t) Wear Karai Vetti & Black Shirt everywhere & anywhere & at all times.
u) Apply tar on any hindi board. Get more ministerial berths & justify giving it to a first time MP on the grounds that ‘he is fluent in Hindi’.
v) Disallow Sanskrit in temples but turn a deaf ear to ‘Arabic / English’ in other places of worship
w) Once in a while remember to say ‘ we support tamizh eeezham’
x) Ensure you are the chief guest for any match in Chidambaram Stadium. As usual handover Winner’s trophy & MoM to Australia / S A / Pakistan. Grin & ensure enough snaps are taken on the occasion.
y) Write Urai nool (Explanatory notes) for Thirukkural
z) Periodically fly VP Singh / Ram Vilas Paswan etc.. to Chennai. Hold a public meeting in Seerani Arangam & pose with joined hands. Get this photo splashed in all dailies.
My thoughts -
a) Denounce anything related to Hinduism. It is perfectly fine if your spouse/children are staunch devotees
b) If you are a movie star ensure that you play in atleast 1 or preferably all the foll roles
Rickshaw puller/coolie/’local pattarai’; living in a slum; romance a very very fair iyer/iyengar girl; sing 3 duets & 1 thathuva paadal; sermonise the heroine’s father about ‘no caste no creed no rich no poor’ & “reform him”. In the end give alwa to the slum dwellers & settle with your heroine in her bungalow. Casteism is dead.
Anti-hero; take on the caste-conscious local pannaiyar; rebel against him; hide in forest; ‘people with you police against you’ – depending on whether the police is a forgotten hero or a struggling villain either change him or kill him; romance a fair looking girl; till the penultimate scene don’t know that she is pannaiyar’s daughter ; with her help finish her father & establish social justice.
You are padinnettu patti (18 villages to the uninitiated) panchayat leader; Harvard MBA fair North Indian girl comes to the village; She “falls for you”; Upper caste son of the villain makes a lower caste girl pregnant; he refuses to marry her; Bring your eyes into a deep red for a close shot – if difficult contract conjunctivitis before the shoot; take a silambu & thrash the hell out of the villain’s son till he is about 90% dead; he reforms & marries the girl; villain goes mad; in the final fight, slice him in full public view using the sword of the kaval deivam. Social justice is established.
c) Say ‘tamizh yendan moochu ; tamizh yendan peechu’. Ensure all in your parambarai - son, grandson, great grandson upto your gardener’s son are educated in American Universities
d) Use ‘Thooya Tamizh’ while speaking on camera. Include terms like ‘parinama valarchi’ ; ‘tamizhin maatchimai’ in good measure
e) Proclaim you are the truest of all Dravidans. If you are a movie producer however book ‘arya’ for your movie as hero.
f) Say ‘vetti’ (‘veshti’ is brahmanical mind you !!!) is the traditional attire of tamilians. However attend all functions in a spotless white kurta pyjama.
g) If you are a lyricist, pen “tamil” songs using ‘meaningful & researched’ tamil words like ‘hai re hai re hai rabba’ interspersed with “50 kg”, “Taj Mahal” etc…
h) Denounce ‘uruva vazhipaadu’ – Idol worship. However garland ‘Periyar’/ ‘Anna’ / ‘Ambedkar’ statues on their birthdays/anniversaries. Ignore Rajaji.
i) Issue public messages on Id/Ramzan/Christamas/Muharram. Maintain a stoic silence on Diwali.
j) Start a signature campaign for pardon to ‘Afzal’
k) If you are a communist, ignore China’s claim on Arunachal Pradesh. Don’t worry about W Bengal becoming half-bangladesh.
l) Denounce Astrology. However the mag you edit give a free copy for ‘Guru peryarchi palangal’ or if you run a newspaper have a ‘Sothidam’ (“Jo” is vadamozhi mind you) section
m) Wear vetti to parliament esp while presenting budget. Include 2/3 kurals in budget speech.
n) Denounce caste specific ads for marriages but ensure your son/daughter is married into a Brahmin fold.
o) Participate in a protest march to covert the 69% reservation into 96% reservation.
p) Support Saddam Hussein
q) If you own a channel don’t miss to telecast “special programmes” on every hindu festival to get high TRPs & AD revenues but don’t indulge in any public private celebrations
r) Call Brahmins as “paarpaan”
s) Get the film industry to organize a “paarattu vizha” where all heros’ sons of soil heap praises on you. Import all fair looking North Indian girls for skimpy clad dances
t) Wear Karai Vetti & Black Shirt everywhere & anywhere & at all times.
u) Apply tar on any hindi board. Get more ministerial berths & justify giving it to a first time MP on the grounds that ‘he is fluent in Hindi’.
v) Disallow Sanskrit in temples but turn a deaf ear to ‘Arabic / English’ in other places of worship
w) Once in a while remember to say ‘ we support tamizh eeezham’
x) Ensure you are the chief guest for any match in Chidambaram Stadium. As usual handover Winner’s trophy & MoM to Australia / S A / Pakistan. Grin & ensure enough snaps are taken on the occasion.
y) Write Urai nool (Explanatory notes) for Thirukkural
z) Periodically fly VP Singh / Ram Vilas Paswan etc.. to Chennai. Hold a public meeting in Seerani Arangam & pose with joined hands. Get this photo splashed in all dailies.
