On Women Marrying Younger Men

Someone close to me has posed this question to me-- Is it wrong to marry a man who is younger to you . If so , why ?

I did not have a very good answer to give .

Read somewhere that Sri Rama was younger to Sita Devi. I tried the internet to verify this fact but didnt succeed.

Will any forum member be able to help?

Bhooma

It is not wrong. Many communities in India do. Mahatma Gandhi was younger than Kasturi Baa. This is more of a tradition.

You dont need Ramayana for this!

Bhooma said:

Someone close to me has posed this question to me-- Is it wrong to marry a man who is younger to you . If so , why ?
I did not have a very good answer to give .
Read somewhere that Sri Rama was younger to Sita Devi. I tried the internet to verify this fact but didnt succeed.
Will any forum member be able to help?
Bhooma

Click to expand...

Dear Bhooma:
You don't need Ramayana for acceptance. It is just a matter of love between two adults. There is absolutely nothing wrong in it! If a man of 84 years can marry a young woman of 36 (this is in the US), the same goes for the woman, too!!

Not Exactly ,

The vice versa of an old man marrying a young wife may not be so succesful as it all depends on the society and circumstances , they live in!

I have also read somewhere than GOD created Man as a flirt , it is very difficult to control himself that being the reason for the mushrooming growth of forums such as this one , which gets him to refocus into religious karma rather than the same word without the letter ' r'.

Woman have been trained in our society to be homely and follow a strict routine . They have their fixed mundane activities scheduled for the day , so very less time for being idle.

So if an older woman is capable of controlling the mind of the young man , the marriage will be a success , else , it may be just a temporary arrangement !

So One' has to Think twice ( about the decision on marriage not twice about getting another partner ) and decide what's best !!

Dear Bhooma Ji,

I personally know of a few very successful marriages, in which the wives are elders (all within 10 years of their husbands' age). As Sri Silverfox Ji correctly said, love should be the only criteria.

I assume that since a man is equipped to create children even after the male 'menapause', while a woman can not bear a child after her menapause, the tradition about marrying a woman junior to him (but within the generation) has come about.

Just my two cents.

Pranams,
KRS

Dear all,

To add to the excellent responses I also think that the criteria that woman should be younger was from an exploitative point of view.

When the man got older he should have somebody to "take care" of him. Somebody younger who still had the energy to "serve" him.

My humble opinion.

Regards,
Chintana

Service to Husbands is Service to GOD !

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our soul to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding
with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same again.
Anon E. Mussain.


Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.

John Lyly

If mentally aligned, why not ?

I am in a posting mood today, so i dared to step on to this quicksand.

The view of Chintana on why 'younger' women marry 'older' men is quite revealing.

Apart from this, i guess, the mental maturity of the woman is always a step-ahead of men.

Though not a member of the distaff side, i have seen cases where the magic of marriage quickly turns a girl into a woman seemingly overnight.

Hence if a older woman marries an younger man, she should perhaps be ready to 'come down a bit' in mental alignment.

As glib as i can only get, hence i suppose it is ok for these kind of arrangements but perhaps not at the level of a 'boy'. Man ? Yes !

As to the men folk, need themselves to reconcile to :

*Yenda* inge kshetha varela ?

Scurrilous writing at its best.

More famous such arrangements :

Sachin Tendulakar - Anjali

Aishwarya Rai - Abhishek 'Bach'an

No Hari ji,

May be , Sachin married a doctor younger to massage him at night for shoulder injuries that he got from his game of cricket and

Abishek could've married Aishwarya , so that she doesn;t sign a contract opposite any other hero in the industry !

Personal Benefits ! Could be !

U are expecting mental maturity from young women ! Don't joke !

and that may be the reason for choosing slightly older women !

Bhooma said:

Someone close to me has posed this question to me-- Is it wrong to marry a man who is younger to you . If so , why ?

I did not have a very good answer to give .

Read somewhere that Sri Rama was younger to Sita Devi. I tried the internet to verify this fact but didnt succeed.

Will any forum member be able to help?

Bhooma

Click to expand...

Dear Bhooma,

I took the liberty of modifying the title.

I hope it reflects the sense you wanted to convey. If you need it changed please let me know.

Thanks,
Chintana

Hi ,
In western countries they do marry younger men since they try all combinations in there lifetime which may not be relevent for traditional guys.
Men dont marry younger gal to service them during old age but young gals are more fertile & can give birth to healthy offsprings. Also men tend to like young gals. Ask an experienced clinician he says the best aphrodisiac is not any pill but youth. I feel a gal could be 10 yrs younger than a well settled man & blessed with 4 kids which is also good for the commuity

vijisesh said:

No Hari ji,


U are expecting mental maturity from women ! Don't joke !

Click to expand...

I do not think a statement such as this belongs anywhere. I am not a woman, but I am offended.

Pranams,
KRS

A gentleman once told me that if you take set of equal number of boys and girls of same age, the chances are that the mental age of the girls would be greater! Perhaps that is the reason that husbands are older than wives rather than the belief that men would like to control women. The fact is women rule the men because they have 'Shakthi' and, believe it or not, it is also a Hindu belief! You might have seen that the wife holds one end of the dharba grass with the other end touching the shoulder of her husband whenever he embarks on a yagna because he is 'asakthan' and she as 'Shakthi' transfers her power on him through the dharbai!

Ramaa said:

A gentleman once told me that if you take set of equal number of boys and girls of same age, the chances are that the mental age of the girls would be greater! Perhaps that is the reason that husbands are older than wives rather than the belief that men would like to control women. The fact is women rule the men because they have 'Shakthi' and, believe it or not, it is also a Hindu belief! You might have seen that the wife holds one end of the dharba grass with the other end touching the shoulder of her husband whenever he embarks on a yagna because he is 'asakthan' and she as 'Shakthi' transfers her power on him through the dharbai!

Click to expand...

Good view point.

And yes, I am aware of the "shakthi" significance in the Hindu tradition.

However as practice of the religion tends to be very different from its philosophy it is a bit hard to ascribe noble reasons for every practice. Because we still don't know what practices are truly vedic and which ones got modified with time.

Regards,
Chintana

quote from Ramaa<<<A gentleman once told me that if you take set of equal number of boys and girls of same age, the chances are that the mental age of the girls would be greater!>>>

I know several guys who are still not matured compared to our women (me included!!!)

we still don't know what practices are truly vedic and which ones got modified with time.

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My understading is that Veda is the Sruthi that does not change in time. One can be a Hindu without knowing an iota of the Veda but can one be a Hindu who knows the Veda and thinks it is no good for whaterver reason such as 'outdated' being one? Lots of people suffer from this dichotomy.

A great follow on read

silverfox said:

I know several guys who are still not matured compared to our women (me included!!!)

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A great follow on read after Silverfox's confession. I especially enjoyed the 3rd last para

Why are women complicated and men daft? By Megha Sharma


Am I complicated if I want him to understand what I leave unsaid? Or is he too daft to decode the language of unspoken gestures? A question that has niggled us since time immemorial! We don’t expect our men to be possessed of heavenly powers but does it take that much instinctual insight to figure out when is the right time to give her emotional support and not expect something physically satiating to result out of the interaction!

Well, I am not here to do only male bashing. Women also need to understand that we are biologically different people. Our mental, emotional and aesthetic makeup is different from men. You can’t expect the poor guy to be attuned to your needs and senses all the time. Give him time to do his share of goofy time pass activities that men thrive on, namely sports and beer! He needs it as much as we need shopping and gossip!!!

And what can I say about their other activities that can best be termed as nefarious. The roving eye syndrome for example, which is incurable in men of all ages! Why can’t they resist keeping their eyes to themselves? One girl in a short skirt and strapless top walks by and the guy’s imagination takes the wildest turn possible! The one sitting next to you looking as pretty in a jeans or a suit becomes a non entity in a matter of seconds!

I have nothing against women who believe in strutting their stuff, if you’ve got it, flaunt it! But it shouldn’t necessarily work out to the disadvantage of the less flaunting variety like us just because the men in our lives choose to drool all over the former type.

Women on the other hand tend to overwork themselves when it comes to their looks! Relax ladies, maintain yourself, be attentive to trends but don’t go overboard! A man who loves you for what you are is the one who deserves you! My guy should like me even when I have a pint of oil massaged into my hair and I will adore him just as he is! But that doesn’t mean that I will always be lax about my appearance in front of him!

Men always quip about the fact that they have to lie in order to keep women happy! I agree to some extent that women tend to be oversensitive over certain issues; we have to learn to be able to take the truth at least from the men who are important in our lives!

But this bargain works both ways! Men need to share! They have to start talking and quit keeping things under wraps! What is the point of it anyways, as most men are really pathetic at it.

Men down the ages have blamed women of being too self contradictory, indecisive, fussy or in one word, complicated. But what if it is the other way round! Can’t it be that women are creatures of higher strata of evolution that makes them a mystery for the “overtly simplistic” man?

“Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.”-Kathleen Mifsud-

There’s something for all of you to think about!!!

Disclaimer: This piece of writing is a jesting repartee on the age old battle of the sexes and the writer is genuinely apologetic for any frayed nerves that result on reading it!!!

Oh Boy! One single remark by Vijisesh brought admonition from Sri KRS. You have put out a huge article. Hariji, I think you are done!!

no, sri ramaa,

I think you are reading sri krs wrongly.

even I have/had personal objection to what mr vijisesh had to say.

krs sir is a delight to converse with.

Dear Sri Ram Ji,

I hope you understand the difference between a well thought out, humorous article by a WOMAN, stating the social condition of the Men and Women and a generalized thoughtless comment (whether a joke or not) by a MAN ridiculing the whole other gender.

I am not a moral police, but in my opinion, certain decency and balance should be maintained in a Public Forum for which we all are responsible.

Good humor is always thought provoking, as the article posted by Sri Hari does.

Pranams,
KRS

Ramaa said:

Oh Boy! One single remark by Vijisesh brought admonition from Sri KRS. You have put out a huge article. Hariji, I think you are done!!

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Hi! sri Ramaa / hari ji !

Arasiyalil ithuvellam sagajamungo !

In fact i had immediately sent a post to Mr.KRS informing that there was a typographical error in my post ( due to my secretary ) and somehow that post seems to have disappeared !

Anyway , my point was " Young women " are busy :
1) If homely , with household chores , not given a chance to do wild thinking about planning about how their family lives are going to be :
&
2) If a city girl , busy in being a career woman , coping up with the present day requirements !
So when it comes to mental preparation for the life ahead , one needs to spend some time on it prior ! It does'nt happen like that ! Girls in our community get their alliance fixed so fast after graduation , so there's very little time left for thinking about her future life!

A Boy on the other hand gets settled and gets his time to know the world and eventually when he settles at 26-27 , has enough maturity to handle the rough tides ahead !

After a few marathon sessions in this and other big forums , many of us are now ** tempered ** and have attained a state from where any provocation or backstatements are only taken as complimento !


Yenri hengithey nanna explanation ?

Dear Sri vijisesh Ji,

There is no 'politics' here.

I responded to your original posting where you left out the 'young' in front of 'women'. As you know, I generally do not like labeling of any sort of any one (I am sure you also do not like it also), and so when we make generalized statements about a group of folks that is not flattering, then it becomes a ridicule.

Since then you have gone back and edited your original statement. I will leave it up to others on judging the varacity of your currently edited statement and the explanation about it that you have posted above.

By the way, I am not an 'Admin', so I do not have any tools to be able to delete and/or edit anybody else's posting.

Pranams,
KRS

Dear Sri KRS,

I agree with you. I was just trying to poke some fun at Hariji.

Dear Mr.KRS,
I have sent a personal msg to u , on this subject !
Thanks