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Agni Manthra, homa for divorce

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R

Ramacchandran

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When the marriage is conducted we invite friends and relatives, tie the knot with the chanting of manthra in presence of holy Agni, and share the joy of of a newly wedded and bless them. When the same couple apply for a divorce, is there any manthra that can be chanted in presence of Holy Agni so that the tied knot can be undone and thrown in to the agni and make the marriage as null and invalid? We can invite the same friends and relatives whom we invited tor divorce, offer them food and return the gift that they presented, declaring on the same platform that the girl and boy now separate and any one who wish can approach them in the same mandap. The legal let it follow. When we pay in 1000's to lawyer why can't we pay the prohit few rupees? (If possible we invite the same prohit who conducted the marriage and the astrologers who said that the horoscope coincides and marriage can be conducted)
 
Excellent Idea! The parties divorce, due mostly to their egoistic differences, rarely situational. Even if one wants to change, the other one may not realize or yield. They should be embarrassed for being selfish against vedic-solemnity/auspicious-pledge! This will also embarrass the sakunis behind the curtain [the parents or other motivators].

I would say, our tradition doesn't allow bringing private matters to the public, had to be solved within. But, the couples should hold few meetings/discussions with the parents/close-relatives of both sides. Only if all agreed or the couple couldn't change ways, they should divorce. This should happen only in the case of arranged marriages.
 
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Ramacchandran said:
When the marriage is conducted we invite friends and relatives, tie the knot with the chanting of manthra in presence of holy Agni, and share the joy of of a newly wedded and bless them. When the same couple apply for a divorce, is there any manthra that can be chanted in presence of Holy Agni so that the tied knot can be undone and thrown in to the agni and make the marriage as null and invalid? We can invite the same friends and relatives whom we invited tor divorce, offer them food and return the gift that they presented, declaring on the same platform that the girl and boy now separate and any one who wish can approach them in the same mandap. The legal let it follow. When we pay in 1000's to lawyer why can't we pay the prohit few rupees? (If possible we invite the same prohit who conducted the marriage and the astrologers who said that the horoscope coincides and marriage can be conducted)
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So you want to adopt the Islam way of saying "talaq" 3 times a marriage is void. Have considered the plight of the children of the wedding. How do they distribute the common property? How do you create the divorce papers?
You should also "kill" the astrologer, if it was a marriage arranged by him.

In some states the uncontested divorce only costs few 1000's, much cheaper than arranging a marriage.
 
Dear Prasad Sir,

You are in voilent mood today?
why "Kill" the poor astrologer. He was given two bits of papers to match and he did that. Did he had the chance to see the "Sakuni's", s mentioned by Mr.Govinda, working behind the scene, or any other circumstances like the go clashes etc that was the reason behind the failed marriage?.
I hope none of the entreprising biz man comes across the suggestion of Mr.Ramachandran, that they start building divorcehalls, and arrange for everthing suggested by him under one roof, at a concession rate!!

Cheers!!
 
Few marriages attended by my friend's son, he presented gold chain for hid friend's marriage. But when the friend was forcibly divorced by his wife, as she was drawing more salary than him, she never came to house and stayed away from him. One fine day she said she got an overseas opportunity on a project for two years and since the marriage was only seven months she said she can not wait and wished for a divorce on mutual consent and now she left the house. She asked her ex husband to sell all the house hold and take the amount and not interested in money. The mangalya also returned. Since everything was done with top secrete no one was aware what is happening. When the marriage was performed every one blessed and shared his joy. But when he was in trouble no one was informed saying it is their personal matter. Now this boy is on street/ house all alone. latest information I got was that the boy plans to marry a Non Brahmin who is poor and not to bother about any one's advice, as it is beyond reach. If the same thing is informed in public at least some one will console them and there might be a solution. But all the expanses including honey moon which turned in sani moon which cost around one lakhs may be laughing at them. It was a well arranged marriage, where both the parents consulted astrologers who confirmed that the couple will get two boys and everything was a bluff. This made me to share my views.
 
It was a well arranged marriage, where both the parents consulted astrologers who confirmed that the couple will get two boys and everything was a bluff.
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Miya bibi raji to kya karega kazi.
Relations happens and relations break, that is the nature of the world.
You can not force people to be in an unhappy relation.
 
Pasad Ji,

Dont take any offense. Your views are not unique, there are 90% of people who share your views. The answers we give in this kind of
public forum, will help clarify such doubts/opinions of many. Take these replies as education for the public.

Coming to your views, our Vedic Wedding Ceremony simply covers all aspects of mind (psychology, fear, insecurity, loneliness, etc.)
and body (beauty, health, progeny,safety etc.) in those vedic solemnic verses. They are very well thought out and laid out. Except
we had gone through many societal changes, that those are not incorporated while bringing up our children. Plus, During those
ancestral days, they simply were spiritual and mature and followed vedas/religion in groups. Thus, there was no expectation to
understand the psychology/behaviour behind the successful marriages or upbringing. As the situation is entirely different, we dont
live that way or educate our children in such mannered ways, a clear counseling/understanding the Vedic Wedding Ceremonies (its expectations)
are a definite/immediate need. We failed to prepare our generations for marriage, future, pro-active, responsible living.

prasad1 said:
So you want to adopt the Islam way of saying "talaq" 3 times a marriage is void.
Click to expand...

Thus, Vedic Ceremony is not like the dry-paper based legal/court marriages or simply oath taking/ritualistic abrahamic practices to alter
with another divorce papers or few words of talaq.

prasad1 said:
Have considered the plight of the children of the wedding. How do they distribute the common property?
How do you create the divorce papers? In some states the uncontested divorce only costs few 1000's, much cheaper than arranging a marriage.
Click to expand...

Why didn't the couple consider the plight of the children before divorce? When did children loved money/share than their parents-union?? For children,
only the parents and their bonding are important, as also is the matter of self-respect, pride to face the society/outer-world! It is out of
stupidity/ego/selfishness, the couple seeks divorce! Just becos divorce is cheaper, all marriages shouldn't end in divorce.

Relations happens and relations break, that is the nature of the world. You can not force people to be in an unhappy relation.
Click to expand...
Marriage should be solemnised only after complete counselling, with the parties' clear understanding of responsibilities [clearly stated in vedic solemnizing!].
Relation cannot break once it happens after commitment! Any problems/issues must be fixed by de-toxifying the couples mind with discussions (among two sides).
Marriages must be made transparent between the parents/guardians and the couples. Unhappy relations are born simply out of poor/illogical/insecure.
minds. Vedic Marriages should also enforce marital-living in a spiritual way. 50% of the blame goes to the parents for not having the hold of the situations!!
 
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hi
now life wants everything UNDER ONE ROOF....LIKE SINGLE WINDOW SYSTEM FOR BUSINESS APPROVALS......so now a days

marriages/divorces are going to be business as usual....get married...make children....then divorce....nice ideas....
 
Ram Ji,

Ramacchandran said:
When the marriage was performed every one blessed and shared his joy. But when he was in trouble no one was informed saying it is their personal matter.
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This is exactly why, I vouch safe your idea! Every family should have a right to bring to public (atleast close-circles), the issues and deal with them. The marriages cannot be anymore private,
once the couples publicize their conflicts. Fort his, I would blame the parents too! They isolated their parents and family, for their selfish goals. Now that their children have an excuse to avoid their
interference for freakish reasons!

Ramacchandran said:
Now this boy is on street/ house all alone. latest information I got was that the boy plans to marry a Non Brahmin who is poor and not to bother about any one's advice, as it is beyond reach. If the same thing is informed in public at least some one will console them and there might be a solution. But all the expanses including honey moon which turned in sani moon which cost around one lakhs may be laughing at them. It was a well arranged marriage, where both the parents consulted astrologers who confirmed that the couple will get two boys and everything was a bluff. This made me to share my views.
Click to expand...

Why cant he be alone?? He is going to stink like fish, lol! Can he become Parasara ? ;) Just becos someone lost her mind, he can't part his own ways! Oh! Then, did he need an excuse ?

Our minds have become materialistic or goal-oriented. Why would then that 1 lakh or his staying alone (himself) is very important?
Then, Why did he lose interest in the arranged marriage or parents helping him with his future choices? How is he different from her?

We have come to the stage, that we make wrong assumptions, arguments, decisions and conclusions! But, we will point the finger at someone all the time!!
 
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Divorce is not allowed in the Hindu tradition. Multiple marriages are ok however! So if you are not happy with one spouse, get another!
 
biswa said:
Divorce is not allowed in the Hindu tradition. Multiple marriages are ok however! So if you are not happy with one spouse, get another!
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Even second-marriage is allowed only when the first wife is deceased or unable to bear children, above all only if the person is willing.

Divorce/Re-marriage are not as in-animate as buying another cellphone or switching providers! Change your modern, false conception!
This shows the wrong approach of the modern education or the Indian mentality!!

Wrong mind/attitudes/behaviours/problems has to be fixed in the possessing person! Dont teach futile ideas!! Give right education!

Fix the root-cause of problems, be it in the health, diet, mind, brought-up. Don't treat the symptom, it will get contagious elsewhere and later in the same person. This is the same mantra for fixing the society (as in the treatment of diseases!).
 
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Weddings have become very expensive now a days and people can not spend again for a divorce (ceremony?!!)

Since equality of men and women is the trend of the day, we can request for the amendments to be made while

taking 'sapthapadhi' during wedding ceremonies.


I have the following thoughts... Amendments within brackets!


1. The couple takes the first step and promises that they will take care of each other (as long as each respect the other's

feelings) and pray for abundant blessings and prosperity in their life.


2. In the second step, the couple promises and prays to the Gods to bless them with physical and mental powers and lead

a healthy married life.


3. During the third step, they promise to protect and increase their wealth by proper means. (Each one is entitled to protect

his / her own wealth!)


4. With the fourth step, the bride and the groom pledge to share happiness and sadness together. (But, the happiness should

be much more than sadness. No sharing otherwise!)


5. With the fifth step, the couple promises to be responsible and care for their children. (the work should be divided as fifty - fifty!)


6. The sixth step is taken by the couple to be together always. (as far as the togetherness is within tolerable limits!)


7. And while taking the last seventh step, they promise to be truthful and trustworthy to each other and pledge to be united

always in friendship and harmony. (But once the trust is gone, they need not be united anymore!)
 
Raji Ram said:

Weddings have become very expensive now a days and people can not spend again for a divorce (ceremony?!!)

Since equality of men and women is the trend of the day, we can request for the amendments to be made while

taking 'sapthapadhi' during wedding ceremonies.


I have the following thoughts... Amendments within brackets!


1. The couple takes the first step and promises that they will take care of each other (as long as each respect the other's

feelings) and pray for abundant blessings and prosperity in their life.


2. In the second step, the couple promises and prays to the Gods to bless them with physical and mental powers and lead

a healthy married life.


3. During the third step, they promise to protect and increase their wealth by proper means. (Each one is entitled to protect

his / her own wealth!)


4. With the fourth step, the bride and the groom pledge to share happiness and sadness together. (But, the happiness should

be much more than sadness. No sharing otherwise!)


5. With the fifth step, the couple promises to be responsible and care for their children. (the work should be divided as fifty - fifty!)


6. The sixth step is taken by the couple to be together always. (as far as the togetherness is within tolerable limits!)


7. And while taking the last seventh step, they promise to be truthful and trustworthy to each other and pledge to be united

always in friendship and harmony. (But once the trust is gone, they need not be united anymore!)
Click to expand...

Smt. Raji Ram,

I don't know what is your source for the above interpretation of the saptapadī mantras. The correct position AFAIK is as follows:

The groom takes the right feet of the bride by the right side of the homa kunda and recites the undernoted mantras, meanings given in blue in brackets:—

1. ஏகமிஷெ விஷ்ணுஸ்தான்வேது (அன்ன ஸம்ருத்தியின் பொருட்டு உன்னை விஷ்ணு பின்தொடர்ந்து வரட்டும்.)

2. த்வே ஊர்ஜே விஷ்ணுஸ்தான்வேது (உடல் வலிமையின் பொருட்டு உன்னை விஷ்ணு பின்தொடர்ந்து வரட்டும்.)

3. த்ரீணி வ்ரதாய விஷ்ணுஸ்தான்வேது (பாதிவ்ரத்தியத்தின் பொருட்டு உன்னை விஷ்ணு பின்தொடர்ந்து வரட்டும்.)

4. சத்வாரி மாயோபவாய விஷ்ணுஸ்தான்வேது (சுகம் உண்டாகும் தன்மைக்காக உன்னை விஷ்ணு பின்தொடர்ந்து வரட்டும்.)

5. பஞ்ச பசுப்யஃ விஷ்ணுஸ்தான்வேது (பசுக்களின் ஸம்ருத்தியின் பொருட்டு உன்னை விஷ்ணு பின்தொடர்ந்து வரட்டும்.)

6. ஷட்ருதுப்யஃ விஷ்ணுஸ்தான்வேது (ருதுக்கள் உனக்கு அனுகூலமாகும்படி உன்னை விஷ்ணு பின்தொடர்ந்து வரட்டும். ருது என்பது menstrual cycle-ஐயும் குறிக்கும்.)

7. ஸப்த ஸப்தப்யோ ஹோத்ராப்யோ விஷ்ணுஸ்தான்வேது (வாழ்க்கையில் பங்குகொள்ளவேண்டிய ஹோமங்களை குறைவின்றி நிறைவேற்ற உன்னை விஷ்ணு பின்தொடர்ந்து வரட்டும்.)

The saptapadī is, therefore, not a joint promise by the couple but an injunction by the groom to the wife-to-be couched in the form of prayer to Vishnu. Our Hindu scriptures do not envisage divorce at all. Hence, my opinion is that as we have moved away from the tenets of our hindu scriptures radically, we should start performing our marriages also in a secular way — either before the Registrar of Marriages, or in a Temple and avoid a vaideeki marriage.
 
sangom said:
...........
The saptapadī is, therefore, not a joint promise by the couple but an injunction by the groom to the wife-to-be couched in the form of prayer to Vishnu. Our Hindu scriptures do not envisage divorce at all.........
Click to expand...
Seeing the new set of manthrAs, probably the first set of amendments is already done!!
 
Raji Ram said:
Seeing the new set of manthrAs, probably the first set of amendments is already done!!
Click to expand...

The new set of mantras which you have given are from one Wendy Dahl's weddins company, an event-management firm I suppose. I am sure our Indian Vaadhyars will even now be chanting the mantras I have given. So, no amendments please, as of now.
 
sangom said:
..... I am sure our Indian Vaadhyars will even now be chanting the mantras I have given. So, no amendments please, as of now.
Click to expand...
Thank you very much for the info. Sir!

I only hope and pray that due respect will be given to the chanted manthrAs! :hail:
 
sangom said:
Smt. Raji Ram,

I don't know what is your source for the above interpretation of the saptapadī mantras. The correct position AFAIK is as follows:

The groom takes the right feet of the bride by the right side of the homa kunda and recites the undernoted mantras, meanings given in blue in brackets:—
Click to expand...

Namaste Sangomji,

Can you please translate these mantras in English ? Please

Thanks,
Jai SiyaRaam
 
Agni's purpose is to catalyze union with and in god's eyes. Severance and adharma have no place in the homa kunda. In my opinion there is no need for these mantram. I support divorce when it is done for suitable reasons but I also believe that it is an aspect of Maya so far removed from divinity that it is an insult to concern the gods with it. Mahadeva holds court for the universe and for Dharma, should we dare exalt ourselves so high that we approach Him for recognition of our own petty decisions? I counter that knowing everything before it happens and even before time became a phenomenon that no marriage that has or will end in divorce has ever been recognized as valid by him to begin with.

This of course is just my own opinion.
 
BostonSankara said:
Agni's purpose is to catalyze union with and in god's eyes. Severance and adharma have no place in the homa kunda. In my opinion there is no need for these mantram. I support divorce when it is done for suitable reasons but I also believe that it is an aspect of Maya so far removed from divinity that it is an insult to concern the gods with it. Mahadeva holds court for the universe and for Dharma, should we dare exalt ourselves so high that we approach Him for recognition of our own petty decisions? I counter that knowing everything before it happens and even before time became a phenomenon that no marriage that has or will end in divorce has ever been recognized as valid by him to begin with.

This of course is just my own opinion.
Click to expand...

To me relationships are for the living organism (including human beings). In brahman there is no duality, so there is no marriage or divorce, there is birth and death.

Marriages and divorce are strictly social, by making it religious we try to put pressure on the couple to stay together for social reasons.
 
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