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Happiness is what you are and not what you have

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We were discussing about what we are having uniquely that others do not have in another thread..

This is an inspiring story! We do not have to look outside! It is within us and each one of us is capable of harvesting this! It is like a spring with a perennial gush of fresh water!!

Couldn't resist sharing this beautiful story
This story is about a beautiful, expensively dressed lady who complained to her psychiatrist that she felt that her whole life was empty, it had no meaning.
So, the lady went to visit a counselor to seek out happiness.
The counselor called over the old lady who cleaned the office floors.
The counselor then said to the rich lady "I'm going to ask Mary here to tell u how she found happiness. All I want u to do is listen to her."
So the old lady put down her broom and sat on a chair and told her story:
"Well, my husband died of malaria and three months later my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody. I had nothing left. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I never smiled at anyone, I even thought of taking my own life. Then one evening a little kitten followed me home from work. Somehow I felt sorry for that kitten. It was cold outside, so I decided to let the kitten in. I got some milk, and the kitten licked the plate clean. Then it purred and rubbed against my leg and, for the first time in months, I smiled.
Then I stopped to think, if helping a little kitten could make me smile, may be doing something for people could make me happy.
So, the next day I baked some biscuits and took them to a neighbor who was sick in bed.
Every day I tried to do something nice for someone. It made me so happy to see them happy.
Today, I don't know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do.
I've found happiness, by giving it to others."

When she heard this, the rich lady cried. She had everything that money could buy, but she had lost the things which money cannot buy.
"The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are; but on how happy others can be because of you..."

Happiness is not a destination, it's a journey.

Happiness is not tomorrow, it is now.
Happiness is not dependency, it is a decision.
Happiness is what you are, not what you have.. if you are happy please pass it on

Source:Whatsapp message
 
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I can understand that this story is sentimental but in real life that is not how depression is addressed.

People think just becos some person has "everything" eg money,status,education,beauty etc they have no reason to feel depressed.

This is the exact reason why depression goes unnoticed in some people cos others expect them not to complain just becos they seem to be having everything.

The truth is depression can strike both the super rich and the dirt poor.

Depression has nothing got to do with social standing....its just the inability for one to handle certain situations as well or due to a lack of neurotransmitters hormones ,genetic factors or over exposure to stress and lack of support.

Mostly people create stories that rich who have everything is complaining but poor who has nothing makes others happy.

It is just that the poor person who is making others happy is not depressed..his/her neurotransmitter hormone balance could be normal hence the ability to withstand every adversity after some phases of sadness or even grief.
Sadness and grief is NOT depression.
Sadness and grief are reactions but Depression is a disorder.

If so happened the poor person was prone to depression there would be a high risk of suicide if not treated..same as any rich depressed person.


So happiness is not about sentimental stories...its about having neurotransmitters in brains in normal ratio.


Sorry...I did not intend to derail this story but I decided to respond to create awareness that DEPRESSION can cause lack of happiness not becos a person has everything yet complaining.

Depression is a disorder...just like how a diabetic lacks insulin..depressed individuals lack serotonin/dopamine.



BTW this story can't be a true story cos its highly unprofessional for a counselor to ask a non counselor to handle a case.

In real life this
counselor would be sued for professional malpractice!
 
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BTW this story can't be a true story cos its highly unprofessional for a counselor to ask a non counselor to handle a case.

In real life this
counselor would be sued for professional malpractice!

The nuances of their interaction are not known..Real life examples are shared by counselors..If they bring another patient who is now treated for depression to share their story, I do not think the rich woman would got upset..She would be happy to hear the poor woman's story...So long as her story is not told to the poor woman she would be ready for hearing any miracle story..On the other hand if counselor had shared the rich woman's story to the poor woman without any permission from her, then the rich woman could have sued the counselor!
 
The nuances of their interaction are not known..Real life examples are shared by counselors..If they bring another patient who is now treated for depression to share their story, I do not think the rich woman would got upset..She would be happy to hear the poor woman's story...So long as her story is not told to the poor woman she would be ready for hearing any miracle story..On the other hand if counselor had shared the rich woman's story to the poor woman without any permission from her, then the rich woman could have sued the counselor!


This story is just made up....first it says Psychiatrists office then it says counselor...both are different professions.


No psychiatrist brings in another unrelated person to relate their stories to a patient.

Its highly unprofessional.


It was not a group support run by non psychiatrist like what happens in Alcoholic Anonymous where a counselor who is not a psychiatrist has group support sessions.

So this whole story seems cooked up...is it a counselor or a psychiatrist?


But my point is..hearing another persons story does not cure depression.

Depression needs individualized tailored medication or psychotherapy or both.


You can't make diabetes go away by letting a diabetic patient hear stories about a person who never ate sugar in his life..diabetes needs treatment,life style modification and exercise and lucky ones can even be meds free if they adhere to strict lifestyle changes.

Take a walk to a psychiatric clinic ..you will never see this happen.

Its still a case for malpractice if it actually happened by a psychiatrist..that is patient can complain that she was seeking treatment from a psychiatrist and not wanted hearing stories from another person.


I know a case of a patient who was very upset with the psychiatrist he was seeing cos the psychiatrist asked him to start talking to God.

Patient got very upset with that becos he felt the psychiatrist should have not assumed everyone believed in God and the person as it is was hearing voices in his head and felt the psychiatrist was asking him to talk to God and that would encourage hallucinations.

The psychiatrist had a lot of answering to do with that complaint.
 
Happiness is within ourselves. A very rich person who has got umpteen servants to take care of his needs could still be depressed

whereas a poor man who depends on his daily wages might be contented and happy. It is the outlook of life which gives happiness.

Those who do not envy others are happy! Today, I posted in another thread how envy leads to undue desire, anger and bad words!

Those who are contented with what God has bestowed on them, are the happy persons. :)
 
The way world has changed is amazing.

Now people cannot face simple issues, get easily over stressed and start talking about going to psychiatrists and depression

In face it has fashionable for well off to talk of depression.

we had deepika padukone talking about it

Then lots joined the bandwagon of depression.

It is plain materialism , excess money in hands of people who do not know what to do with it. they turn to drugs,flit from relationship to relationship and ending up as

wrecks.

Counselors have no answers. They suggest remedies which are challenged by others.

Godmen move in with their acts .

What technology and online sites have done is exposing most to so many seedy things in the world that most see no sense in simple living with ordinary aspirations

The aspiration capability gap is driving people to insane behavior .Every family has a mentally sick person young or old. Are we becoming a mentally sick society?
 
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This is not a scholarly article but an article that appeared in a column titled "Modern Love"

May be of some interest to the readers of this thread.

[Idea of having a pet to ease the depression]

How a Kitten Eased My Partner’s Depression

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/fashion/how-a-kitten-eased-my-partners-depression.html?_r=0

A few paragraphs from the article.
When his depression was at its worst, my partner, Joe, would wake up in the morning engulfed in a fog so palpable that its presence would sometimes startle me awake, as if I had smelled something burning.

During the first few years of our relationship, I often wished he would roll over with a cheery “Good morning!” and a kiss instead of stumbling blankly out of bed, zombielike, toward coffee.

I eventually figured out that lying alone in bed and fantasizing about a nondepressed Joe was a terrible idea. It made me grumpy, and then we would both be having a bad day.
.....
When I ask Joe if he thinks Sadie cured his depression, he gets a troubled look on his face.

“Of course not,” he says. “Remember, you can’t cure depression.”

“I know,” I say. “You can only get better at living with it.”
 
The way world has changed is amazing.

Now people cannot face simple issues, get easily over stressed and start talking about going to psychiatrists and depression

In face it has fashionable for well off to talk of depression.

we had deepika padukone talking about it

Then lots joined the bandwagon of depression.

It is plain materialism , excess money in hands of people who do not know what to do with it. they turn to drugs,flit from relationship to relationship and ending up as

wrecks.

Counselors have no answers. They suggest remedies which are challenged by others.

Godmen move in with their acts .

What technology and online sites have done is exposing most to so many seedy things in the world that most see no sense in simple living with ordinary aspirations

The aspiration capability gap is driving people to insane behavior .Every family has a mentally sick person young or old. Are we becoming a mentally sick society?

Dear Krish Ji,

Sadly depression is NOT given its due importance and is one of the most under-diagnosed and untreated conditions.

Can we say "these days people simply go to their doctors claiming to have diabetes,cancer,hypertension,high cholesterol etc"

"Lets join the bandwagon of diabetes,cancer,hypertension,high cholesterol"

Do we say that?

No...becos depression is not understood and people who have never had depression would not understand it...just like a non diabetic would never understand what having diabetes is all about.

Depression is not the inability to handle stress..depression is a disorder by itself..in fact now the new research is hinting about if depression and certain other mental illnesses should be classified under endrocrinology becos it does show a lack of hormones in brain.

For example a recent study showed that people who are depressed and have suicidal tendencies lack cortisol..a hormone which has effects to combat stress..so the lines of treatment is on increasing the cortisol levels and treating the depression.

Its akin to a diabetic not having the hormone insulin in the body and given exogenous insulin to control the condition.

Deepika Padukone has brought awareness to general public about Depression a subject which is very much a taboo in India and Asia.

We should never ever assume that depression is just people making fuss and unable to handle stress...there is an underlying cause for their condition.

Just imagine a person walks in to see me and he says he needs Insulin for his diabetes and I tell him "hey why making a big fuss..are we becoming a diabetic society? Its all plain materialism and too much money ..lets join the diabetic bandwagon"

Should I say the same to a breast cancer patient too? Telling her she is making a big fuss etc.Just chop off the breast and stop seeing a surgeon.Lets join the Breast cancer wagon? Are we becoming a breast cancer society?

Get what I mean? We never ever have any sympathy for depression but we give maximum sympathy for other disorders.

Depression is a disorder..it can kill..it can destroy a life.

It needs awareness and treatment.
 
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Depression in children is due to lack of attention from parents. I saw a few kids saying that they are depressed, in the U S of A! :pout:

Some kids seek attention by acting sick! One fine morning, a five year old boy, living in Sing Chennai, said that he can not see anything

and has become blind! Parents were shattered and ran to an eye specialist, only to find that he had normal eye sight. Later on, they found

that he 'acted' blind, just to get attention from his parents, who were pampering his younger brother all the time!! Howzaat??
 
Depression I think is a problem of the mind. I agree with Krish Ji that excessive materialism and its impact is mostly the cause. Renuka may be right in that there may be deficiencies in hormones that is related to depression but I think that is actually a symptom, the real cause being a problem of the mind.
 
If you look at the younger generation, despite all material pleasures there is no palpable happiness! You give them some exotic phone and the happiness gets ephemeral and the yearning starts for the next thing!! Look at how they are subjected to food porn leading to excessive craving for high fat & calorie food!

We are always in a constant state of comparison with others that causes mind to get depressed! I would attribute this to lack of contentment! A problem of the mind as Sri Sravna said in post # 11
 
Dear Ganesh,

Why only youngsters. Many ladies also keep a watch on what the other members in the circle of family and friends buy! :spy:

Whether it is a new home appliance, dress or jewelry, they rush to get one for themselves. :dizzy:
 
Many slightly old ladies buy ill fitting dresses youngsters buy.They also sport artificial jewellery and wear mix of gold and artificial.

Home appliances -what happens to old at home when new is bought.

Many times old ones are longer lasting.

I have a fridge -a very large one more than 20 years old and functioning though the company has folded up in india.Things like mixie -whenever I tried to replace it,

the shopkeeper says do not do it ,its better than the new product of the same company. Coffee filters - why does it have to be stainless steel? When I wanted one with

motor and plastic with synthetic filter of small size , I could not get in market. All were of large size. It seems one cannot drink less coffee.home.I am trying to replace

all utencils with smaller size in view of shrunken family. That appears a large order. somehow we cannot think small. Only beneficiary are my servants who get to drink

more than a cup of freshly brewed coorg pure coffee at my home.We live for servants and not for ourselves. They are our anna daata.lol
 
Dear Krish Ji,

Sadly depression is NOT given its due importance and is one of the most under-diagnosed and untreated conditions.

Can we say "these days people simply go to their doctors claiming to have diabetes,cancer,hypertension,high cholesterol etc"

"Lets join the bandwagon of diabetes,cancer,hypertension,high cholesterol"

Do we say that?

No...becos depression is not understood and people who have never had depression would not understand it...just like a non diabetic would never understand what having diabetes is all about.

Depression is not the inability to handle stress..depression is a disorder by itself..in fact now the new research is hinting about if depression and certain other mental illnesses should be classified under endrocrinology becos it does show a lack of hormones in brain.

For example a recent study showed that people who are depressed and have suicidal tendencies lack cortisol..a hormone which has effects to combat stress..so the lines of treatment is on increasing the cortisol levels and treating the depression.

Its akin to a diabetic not having the hormone insulin in the body and given exogenous insulin to control the condition.

Deepika Padukone has brought awareness to general public about Depression a subject which is very much a taboo in India and Asia.

We should never ever assume that depression is just people making fuss and unable to handle stress...there is an underlying cause for their condition.

Just imagine a person walks in to see me and he says he needs Insulin for his diabetes and I tell him "hey why making a big fuss..are we becoming a diabetic society? Its all plain materialism and too much money ..lets join the diabetic bandwagon"

Should I say the same to a breast cancer patient too? Telling her she is making a big fuss etc.Just chop off the breast and stop seeing a surgeon.Lets join the Breast cancer wagon? Are we becoming a breast cancer society?

Get what I mean? We never ever have any sympathy for depression but we give maximum sympathy for other disorders.

Depression is a disorder..it can kill..it can destroy a life.

It needs awareness and treatment.
Spoken like a true medical professional.My upvote for you.

My views are that of a common man who thinks in a simplistic way and does not consider depression as a disease like diabetes or cancer.

I see it only as an affliction of well off classes due to affluence or aspirations not being met for some. In many cases these people due to perverted thinking or lifestyle

have brought it upon themselves.Of course they require treatment. They have the means for it I suppose.
 
My views are that of a common man who thinks in a simplistic way and does not consider depression as a disease like diabetes or cancer.

I see it only as an affliction of well off classes due to affluence or aspirations not being met for some. In many cases these people due to perverted thinking or lifestyle

have brought it upon themselves.Of course they require treatment. They have the means for it I suppose.

Dear Krish ji,

Even the poor have depression...many swallow organophosphorus compounds like pesticide and die.

Depression does not spare anyone..rich or poor.

May be depression in the rich gets more media coverage as the media focuses on the rich and play up the "Poor little rich girl" story.

When a poor person commits suicide the media does not care to report it.

That is the only difference why depression or mental illness is commonly misunderstood to be the disease of the rich.

Many a times we have seen a mentally ill unkempt person walking around on the road talking to himself with tattered clothes etc..he could have once been a normal person..didnt get treatment becos of poverty.
 
Dear Renu,

Poor people commit suicide when they are penniless and don't wish to beg. We hear about so many farmers who end their lives by suicide! :sad:
 
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