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  1. #1
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    Intercaste marriage in Tamil Nadu sparks riot

    You reap what you sow...Among all communities that are most impacted by the Inter caste (I.C)marriage are the Brahmins who are already in a miniscule minority...Hope better sense prevail among the proponents of IC...It is leading TN nowhere...Let the individuals marry in their communities & be happy..May be not so easy

    This may stir a hornets nest...Why not..IC has already created a communal cauldron in TN...Before everyone gets consummated in the fires this news is a grim reminder of a stark reality of I.C..It tears the family apart...Son/daughter are going berserk with no respect for traditional values..No worries about the parents, brothers/sisters...If somebody thinks that we can remove caste in all the Hindu communities they are in a fools paradise...And 90% of these marriages end in a failure...The love & bonhomie is over very quickly...It is only in the dream world of cinema all of this hunky dory



    Inter-caste marriage sparks riot in Tamil Nadu district, 148 dalit houses torchedK.A.Shaji, V Senthil Kumran, Karthick S, TNN, Nov 9, 2012

    DHARMAPURI: Outraged by the suicide of a man who felt humiliated after his daughter married a dalit boy in secret, a mob of non-dalits went on the rampage in three villages of Dharmapuri district, looting and burning houses of dalits late on Wednesday, police said.

    The 2,500-strong mob set ablaze 148 houses in Natham, Anna Nagar and Kondampatti villages. They claimed that the "humiliation" caused by the marriage and the refusal of the dalits to send the woman back home had resulted in the suicide of G Nagarajan (48). The mob looted valuables before setting the houses on fire.

    Though 300 policemen were present, they failed to control the mob after being grossly outnumbered. The arson and looting continued till 9.30pm when additional police forces arrived on the scene.

    Talking to TOI on Thursday, IG (west zone) T P Sundaramoorthy said the situation was brought under control after an additional 1,000 personnel were deployed and more than 90 people arrested. Cases had been registered against 210 others, he said.

    Nagarajan ended his life at his residence in Sellankottai, not far from the Natham dalit colony, on Wednesday evening. The autopsy was delayed because of frequent power cuts, and the body was handed over to his relatives only on Thursday evening. Later, police said, a group of dalits set fire to two houses belonging to non-dalits in Natham.

    Govt announces compensation

    Announcing compensation of 50,000 to each family that lost its house and belongings, chief minister J Jayalalithaa said on Thursday that severe action would be taken against those responsible for the violence. In a statement, she said police had rushed to the spot and were taking necessary measures. She instructed the district authorities to extend all help to the affected in the violence.

    Police said Nagarajan's daughter Divya, 20, eloped with dalit youth Ilavarasan, 23, about a month ago, and they got married in a temple. As the non-dalits threatened them against entering Ilavarasan's house in the Natham dalit colony, the couple approached the Salem police, seeking protection.

    Meanwhile, the non-dalits conducted a 'kangaroo' court and directed the dalit family to return the woman on Wednesday. But Divya refused to obey them and made it clear that she would continue to live with Ilavarasan. Dharmapuri SP Asra Garg said the kangaroo court was held at Nayakkankottai village last week and the police were searching for those who took part in it and orchestrated the violence.

    Fire tenders were not able to reach the villages in time because huge trees had been cut down on the roads to block them. Services of the Rapid Action Force had been requested to maintain law and order, he said.Dharmapuri collector R Lilly said the homeless had been put up in three government schools.

    Politics stoking caste fire

    In a state that boasts of being progressive, caste divide is rearing its ugly head once again. The violence that rocked Natham in Dharmapuri district on Wednesday has reversed a recent positive trend in the northern districts of Tamil Nadu, once a hotbed of simmering caste tension between Vanniyars and dalits.

    Activists point out that this is the first big caste violence in the last two decades in Dharmapuri. The last decade had seen leaders of the dominant communities in the region, the Vanniyars and the dalits, campaigning together for communal harmony.

    "Tamil Nadu is a land of reformation. Usually, political and social leaders of the state advocate inter-caste marriages and successive state governments have encouraged progressive development. But in recent months, this positive trend has changed and a few caste leaders have been openly campaigning against inter-caste marriages," said writer-politician D Ravikumar, state secertary of the Viduthalai Chiruthaigal Katchi, a dalit party with a presence in the north. "They have indirectly encouraged killings in the name of honour and even ignited violence. This should be stopped through progressive initiatives," he said.

    Caste leaders have gone one regressive step further to warn activists against encouraging the union between couples of different castes and even issuing diktats against love marriages. PMK MLA J Guru, who heads the Vanniyar Sangam, the first avatar of the PMK, shocked progressive groups when he issued an open threat at a community meeting, forbidding inter-caste unions. Similarly, the Kongu Vellala Goundergal Peravai, which claims to represent the community, issued advertisements in newspapers calling a meeting of community members to oppose inter-caste marriages and launched a campaign against it.

    Activists point out that the violence in Dhamrapuri had occurred in a hamlet which used to have a strong presence of the left movement. "The district was once the headquarters of the 'naxalbari' movement. Hence caste violence in such a place has come as a surprise," said a police officer.

    Well-known Tamil writer Manushaputhiran pointed out that political parties have been using caste as a tool to improve their prospects. "Caste feeling is not only a cultural issue now. Caste parties have been using it as a powerful political tool as well," he said.

    While there is a lack of cooperation between dalit and non-dalit leaders in southern Tamil Nadu to end the divide, PMK leader S Ramadoss and Dalit leader Thol Tirumavalavan made some efforts for communal amity in the northern belt. Ramadoss unveiled dalit leader Ambedkar's statue in many places and the VCK in turn honoured him by awarding him the Ambedkar Award.

    The caste tension between Vanniyars and dalits was seen to have ended in the early 2000 because of this truce between the two leaders, who came together under the umbrella of Tamil Protection Movement. But the bonhomie did not last and Ramadoss recently declared that his party would align only with caste parties for elections in the future
    Last edited by vgane; 09-11-2012 at 05:13 PM. Reason: spelling
  2. #2
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    Solution suggested is worse than the problem.
    It is like suggesting to kill the patient just because he has a cold.
    Let us be reasonable, Inter-caste, Inter-state, Inter-religion, Inter-culture, etc, marriages are going to happen. That can not be stopped. People have to be educated to accept it.

    In USA inter-racial marriage does cause headaches for families, but it is generally tolerated, and in some instances even welcome.
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    IMHO, India cannot go forward even just in time (forget about economic/technical progress and any other desirable goals which any country can hope for) on the basis of a caste-divided society or even language-divided society. As President Obama mentioned in his victory speech (and at least some people here may know that I am not a particularly American fan,) just as the US has to be an all-inclusive society, including even the Latino immigrants, India can hope to prosper only if there is an inclusive society.

    I am an old man who did not (is it, could not) fall in love with any girl during the appropriate period. I got married at the age of 23 and as years rolled by, our (myself & my wife) mutual affection also has steadily grown. I personally do not subscribe to the notion of compulsory and mandatory LOVE. Even so, when we have an inclusive society the younger generations who may be fortunate to grow up without being constantly reminded about the relative status of their caste, may start loving people across the caste spectrum and we should be able to accept such alliances.

    The pity is that our Politicians have found the 'caste-card' to be a very effective vote-gathering technique and, therefore, insist on the caste-based reservations. Only when the idea of caste-inequalities completely disappear from the Indian psyche, can we have such inter-caste marriages as a normal feature. Till we reach that stage, I think parents who put a lot of importance for caste should educate their sons and daughters to abide by the caste-code before they decide to "Love" somebody.

    श्रेयो भूयात् सकलजनानाम् ।
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    hi
    inter racial in USA is going on....generally 8 out of 10 indian american DESI weddings are inter racial....sometimes i wonder myself....

    in general white boys/white girls normal acceptable ...now a days african american boys /girls are marrying DESIS....even latinos/

    chineese/korean are getting married with indian desi kids....but its really a headache for some families...but no choice.....MOVE

    WITH THE STREAM....OR AGAINST THE STREAM...OR MOVE AWAY FROM STREAM....choice is less....its going to happen more

    in future....
    asato maa sadh gamayaa, tamaso maa jyotir
    gamayaa, mrityor maa amritham gamayaaa..
    om shanti, om shanti, om shanti...upanishad
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  8. #5
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    Cool Iyer and pillai - living happly !

    my wife is a iyer. I am saiva pillai. side note - why do brahmins honor brahmin-non-brahmin divide. isn't it foolish losing game. see, there is no vaisya-non-vaisya divide. it is a game of dravidian parties to corner brahmins and seems like brahmins are enjoying being discriminated against everyone. so i wud suggest getting away from this NB terminology for the favour of Bs (i see this only only in TN nowhere else). Thats why i am not saying myself as NB. okay, back to the main point. our life is not that thrilling as depicted in movies or magazines, we are happy couples and we love each other. she is my highschool sweet heart and before marriage we were in love for 14 years. my parents did not agree, her side agreed but i had to wait 6 six years for my parents somewhat-approval and my wife also waited for me patiently. those 6 years were horrible, my mom did not attend my marriage as well. I was picturing myself in very bad position, the stress- u cannot imagine. but i had to stand by dharma, for the commitment - i stood. now after marriage, everything is solved, we live happily in usa with god's grace. my parents talk to my wife and vice versa. my inlaws visit here, my parents visit and i see no difference from inter caste marriage. we are married for 4 years now. So, it might look daunting in the starting but if you have the balls and patience, everything will be fine. end of the day, the love of couples will be tested, if it is strong and true, it will last long. no matter if it is inter caste or same caste marriage.
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  10. #6
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    Very nice story Sir. Wish you and your wife many years of happy married life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbs View Post
    hi
    inter racial in USA is going on....generally 8 out of 10 indian american DESI weddings are inter racial....sometimes i wonder myself....

    in general white boys/white girls normal acceptable ...now a days african american boys /girls are marrying DESIS....even latinos/

    chineese/korean are getting married with indian desi kids....but its really a headache for some families...but no choice.....MOVE

    WITH THE STREAM....OR AGAINST THE STREAM...OR MOVE AWAY FROM STREAM....choice is less....its going to happen more

    in future....
    Dear TBS Garu,

    Hey you forgot same gender marriage!LOL

    Any combination is possible.
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  14. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by pgomat View Post
    my wife is a iyer. I am saiva pillai. side note - why do brahmins honor brahmin-non-brahmin divide. isn't it foolish losing game. see, there is no vaisya-non-vaisya divide. it is a game of dravidian parties to corner brahmins and seems like brahmins are enjoying being discriminated against everyone. so i wud suggest getting away from this NB terminology for the favour of Bs (i see this only only in TN nowhere else). Thats why i am not saying myself as NB. okay, back to the main point. our life is not that thrilling as depicted in movies or magazines, we are happy couples and we love each other. she is my highschool sweet heart and before marriage we were in love for 14 years. my parents did not agree, her side agreed but i had to wait 6 six years for my parents somewhat-approval and my wife also waited for me patiently. those 6 years were horrible, my mom did not attend my marriage as well. I was picturing myself in very bad position, the stress- u cannot imagine. but i had to stand by dharma, for the commitment - i stood. now after marriage, everything is solved, we live happily in usa with god's grace. my parents talk to my wife and vice versa. my inlaws visit here, my parents visit and i see no difference from inter caste marriage. we are married for 4 years now. So, it might look daunting in the starting but if you have the balls and patience, everything will be fine. end of the day, the love of couples will be tested, if it is strong and true, it will last long. no matter if it is inter caste or same caste marriage.
    Dear Sir,

    Nice story..God bless you and your wife always.

    Frankly speaking when we love someone..we just love the person for what he or she is.

    It's like a heart to heart connection with synchronized beats.

    Just say a Punjabi guy loves a South Indian girl..he won't see her as a South Indian and she won't see him as a Punjabi..they will just love each other as soul mates.

    For a marriage to work out..understanding and emotional connection is of utmost importance.
    If that is present..that union will last forever.

    I do not believe that intercaste marriages stand a higher failure rate..these days any marriage can fail due to any reason.

    After all how different can any marriage get? Lifestyle of humans these days are.. get up..go to work..provide for family and with rest and recreation.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sangom View Post

    I am an old man who did not (is it, could not) fall in love with any girl during the appropriate period. I got married at the age of 23 and as years rolled by, our (myself & my wife) mutual affection also has steadily grown. I personally do not subscribe to the notion of compulsory and mandatory LOVE.

    Dear Sangom ji,

    Actually LOVE is a cocktail of hormonal interplay plus nature's drive for continuation of species..after many years, MUTUAL AFFECTION is what verily has been the foundation.

    I did not write this in my post to pgomat ji cos he is a newly wed and this Tattvam might actually kill the spice of marriage but anyone who has been married donkey years will know that MUTUAL AFFECTION is what holds the fabric of marriage.

    Mutual Affection keeps our true SELF happy cos happiness is our innate nature..after all doesn't the saying go.."It is not for the sake of husband/wife that they are loved but for the sake of SELF"

    Sometimes after many years of marriage and reading Advaita..I sometimes wonder does anyone else get the feeling "OMG the same Atma exists in spouse and me..then what am I doing loving my own self and seeing him/her as a separate entity from me?"

    If this thought comes..I guess it's time to be a Vanaprastha!LOL

    Note**** Newly weds and those in love..don't take this post too seriously.
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  18. #10
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    my wife is a iyer. I am saiva pillai. side note - why do brahmins honor brahmin-non-brahmin divide. isn't it foolish losing game
    Dear Sir, I beg to differ with you. brahmins do not honor the divide....we have accepted the reality and have moved forward by accepting inter caste marriages... Please look at your case itself... girls side (iyer) agreed your side(NB) only delayed the matter... tragic is that your mother did not attend the wedding of her SON!!!.

    BTW best wishes for your successful marriage life as all the hurt feelings seems to be faded away!! Cheers.

    Time is standing still for the political parties and they are still holding on tho their caste cards to thrive in the political scenario... It will take another generation for India to break thru the caste shackles it has bound it self with.
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