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Marraige Into an Orthodox Family

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Marriage is Union of two souls .Caste should not come in the way of such an Union.Nor should preference of one to follow the path of priesthood.

Person venturing into such a profession should not be setting conditions regarding dress or ornaments to be worn by spouse.
Well it might be a bit odd for the wife to be dressed in modern dress while my husband is a active priest with seniority

The most sought after priest for conducting marriages in Delhi has given his wife th freedom to wear

clothes off her choice.She wears maxis and other modern dresses.Laying down conditions on dress etc. Is impinging on personal freedom of mate.

As a person in love,the girl might agree to wear madisar or sport nose rings.But insistence on it or justifying is atrocious.
I am not doing it for the sake of love but I can understand their situation & willing to change my self, If I don't their is no point having a love marriage

It shows a perverse mindset

People change after marriage . Priests may decide to adopt normal profession after marriage .Who knows ? I know some orthodox men with kudumi shedding it and wearing jeans and going to another profession.I also know men suddenly becoming religeous and start sporting kudumi and panchakacham after retirement.

I sincerely think she should not accept any dress code to please husband or in laws.She should not compromise on issues such as dress code which is violation of her personal rights
Well I have decided to accept it, to be honest it was an expectation for which I obliged, It will cause me some problems and I will not be able to do certain things, but when you know there are some things only you could do you will not have any regrets

Please find my answers in red
 
This girl is someone's loving daughter/sibling.

As an educated working girl she deserves a better future.


Why do you think that I am going to have a bad future. What better future could you have than spending the rest of your life with the person you love
 
Love is blind, Krish Sir! :cool:

Dhaksha herself has chosen her soul mate and she has to face the consequences bravely!

Anyway, a lady dressed in madisAr, wearing diamond studs and nose rings on both sides is sure to look like 'ambAL'! :hail:

I am very interested as well, It is going to be interesting how I look, few weeks I will know

But I will not use the word consequence, because consequence means having to suffer, I will not suffer because of this, it will be odd /difficult to dress with madisar all the time.
 
Hey, I must celebrate today. I earned a thums down today after a gap of few days. Let me pat myself for that. The score stands at 20 as at 3.00 PM today. Thank you "incognito friend". LOL.
 
Well not sure why do you think like that, I would not say forcing but they were expecting it from me and I agreed to it, ithought that was a reasonable thing to expect from me given the circumstances. I would appreciate if you could give me some guidance how to handle my transformation. Thanks
Transformation is simple if love is strong, Dhaksha! :)

For everyday use, you can buy ready-made madisArs which are available in wonderful combinations! :thumb:

As I wrote here earlier, any lady will look like ambAl by wearing diamond studs, two nose rings and madisAr!
 
Transformation is simple if love is strong, Dhaksha! :)

For everyday use, you can buy ready-made madisArs which are available in wonderful combinations! :thumb:

As I wrote here earlier, any lady will look like ambAl by wearing diamond studs, two nose rings and madisAr!



Thank you for the kind words, I am committed to change my self.
Thanks for the reference to Ambal I feel very humbled.
As for the madisar sarees are concerned I will open a new thread a bit later.

Having my both noses pierced on Friday Scared!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

3) wearing diamond studs in the ears..... if you think this is a weight, what will you do, when you conceive?



Ear studs can be heavy on the ear cos it pulls down the soft tissue.

BTW carrying a child for 40 weeks does not feel heavy at all...(from personal experience).

The body adapts to a fetus growing in utero by changes in body structure esp the spine to handle the fetus..centre of gravity too changes..so a mother does not feel as if she is carrying any weight.

People usually link carrying of a fetus is almost like carrying a stone tied to the waist for 9 months...it is NOT.

Reason is cos stone is external and sudden adaptation to an external source of weight is different from gradual adaptation to an internal source of weight.

Walking around with a 1kg stone for 9 months would be exhausting but walking around with a fetus weighing 4kg in the final month is not exhausting. A fetus grows gradually..giving the body of the mother time to adapt.



God designed the human body fairly well to adapt to natural changes.

But the ear studs..most of us were not like Karna to be born with ear studs..so a heavy ear stud can actually cause pain.
 
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Hey, I must celebrate today. I earned a thums down today after a gap of few days. Let me pat myself for that. The score stands at 20 as at 3.00 PM today. Thank you "incognito friend". LOL.
You are lucky that you got only one thumbs down.

I resisted the impulse to give you one.
 
Ear studs can be heavy on the ear cos it pulls down the soft tissue.

BTW carrying a child for 40 weeks does not feel heavy at all...(from personal experience).

The body adapts to a fetus growing in utero by changes in body structure esp the spine to handle the fetus..centre of gravity too changes..so a mother does not feel as if she is carrying any weight.

People usually link carrying of a fetus is almost like carrying a stone tied to the waist for 9 months...it is NOT.

Reason is cos stone is external and sudden adaptation to an external source of weight is different from gradual adaptation to an internal source of weight.

Walking around with a 1kg stone for 9 months would be exhausting but walking around with a fetus weighing 4kg in the final month is not exhausting. A fetus grows gradually..giving the body of the mother time to adapt.



God designed the human body fairly well to adapt to natural changes.

But the ear studs..most of us were not like Karna to be born with ear studs..so a heavy ear stud can actually cause pain.
After your post I will stop pitying pregnant women because of the weight they carry inside the body.I am educated now that its actually not difficult.
 
........ Having my both noses pierced on Friday Scared!!!!!!!!!!!!
​This pretty lady has two nose rings and everyone admires her not only for her divine voice but also for her looks! :hail:

mss-10.jpg


Source: Google images
 
Please find my answers in red
Daksha

I am moved by your response.

You are idealistic regarding love.

Changing ones attire, doing many things under the head of love often subjecting oneself to a changed caste rules of the orthodox kind which most of that caste

members themselves have given up makes me give you a thumbs up.

I sincerely hope you do not regret this later.
 
After your post I will stop pitying pregnant women because of the weight they carry inside the body.I am educated now that its actually not difficult.
Actually, Krish Sir, the last two months of pregnancy are the most difficult. :ballchain:

My doctor dad used to say that a woman in advance pregnancy looks like PiLLaiyAr and walks like a duck! :D
Renu is an exception in many aspects! :clap2:

P.S: I was 'vAndheeying' for nearly eight months and was on a mild medication, to avoid any embarrassment while going out! :spit:
 
Rajramji

Do you know pilliars in bali sport a lean figure and even their stomach is not big?

Even other Gods like Rama, Lakshmana have slender figures and could walk the ramp.
 
quote_icon.png
Originally Posted by krish44

After your post I will stop pitying pregnant women because of the weight they carry inside the body.I am educated now that its actually not difficult.

Dear Krish ji,

Believe me..in fact its during pregnancy most husbands are tortured becos of this false notion.

Nicely men fall for this so called helpless state!LOL

Have you see aboriginal women who live in the jungle..I have worked in a rural set up before where I had to travel to some jungle area to work.

The aboriginal woman are fit like a fiddle right thru out pregnancy...they even climb up hills even in the last few days of pregnancy.
Slim figure and practically healthy by all standards.

Its all in the mind that pregnancy is hard in the last few weeks.

Yes..the gait changes as RR ji said...thats part of the adaptation response when centre of gravity changes

In most normal cases its NOT at all hard. Complicated cases might have some restrictions but most normal cases are just ACTING! Husbands are tortured in that process. Believe me..I am the very few females who will expose to you how much motherhood is over rated!LOL

If pregnancy was meant to be a torture ..there would be no continuation of species.

The only painful part of pregnancy is the labour pain..that can be massive.

The second most painful part of pregnancy is when the baby becomes a teenager!LOL
 
Dear Dakshayani,

You are displaying supreme adaptation to your new role as a wife to your husband.

I admire you for your devotion to him.

God bless you in your marriage.

I am not a Tamil Brahmin so I can't really give you more advise besides giving you blessings for your marriage.

But from a perspective of a married woman..I can tell you to also save some amount of your true self and nature.

I am not trying to discourage you..there is no harm you adapt if that makes you happy but in early phase of marriage when Romance and Hormones flood our brain..everything would seem worth a sacrifice..as we age sometimes we miss being ourselves.

Don't entire give up yourself for anyone..just adapt enough to adjust to a new environment but be yourself...your mind is what you can safely call your own.

You may change your attire..your appearance but make sure you are also accepted as being You.

A husband and wife should love each other as who they are and not what they can be for each other.

Take Care.

Dheerga Sumangali Bhava.
 
You are lucky that you got only one thumbs down.

I resisted the impulse to give you one.

LOL. Krishji, do not resist temptations. You will end up a nervous wreck. Just enjoy the moment. When you give a thumbs down to one after a long debate it means you are at the end of it as you have nothing more to contribute and so would like to give a parting kick to someone whose arguments irritated you. You give it and forget it so that you are free from any grudge. My incognito friend is doing exactly that. You could have joined him and my score would have gone up making me happier. LOL.
 
Daksha

Best wishes. You will be able to make your marriage work. You have the right attitude. Dump the words of doomsday soothsayers and live your life happily and meaningfully. God Bless You.
 
​This pretty lady has two nose rings and everyone admires her not only for her divine voice but also for her looks! :hail:

mss-10.jpg


Source: Google images






Yes that's true it looks divine when M S Subbuluxmy has them, that was really special about her

probably i will some thing similar in a few weeks, actually people close to me are all exited

but now i am dreading the needle going through my nose tommorrow
 
Daksha

Best wishes. You will be able to make your marriage work. You have the right attitude. Dump the words of doomsday soothsayers and live your life happily and meaningfully. God Bless You.
Succumbing to adopting outdated religeous practices ,dress diktats from orthodox brahmin male and his family cannot be termed as right attitude.

A persons dress defines him/her and no one ought to force his dress preferances on another and pass judgement on that .

I have no hesitation in giving thumbs down to this post.
 
Succumbing to adopting outdated religeous practices ,dress diktats from orthodox brahmin male and his family cannot be termed as right attitude.
A persons dress defines him/her and no one ought to force his dress preferances on another and pass judgement on that .
I have no hesitation in giving thumbs down to this post.

LOL. Thank you for the Thumbs down. For once you have lived honestly for a moment. May this continue. I have given you a thumbs up for your performance.

Please define what do you mean by outdated religious practises. Please list them and I can tell you why they are not outdated.

A military recruit is given a dress code. Even the Techie in an IT company has a dress code to follow meticulously. All these are forced on the individuals. Yes, the dress defines the individual. If your vadhyar comes to your house wearing a jeans and T-shirt and helps you perform a Amavasya tharpanam or a sraadhdham, it would look funny. Don't you agree? Or he comes to your house for a Suvasini Puja that your wife wants to conduct in shorts and T-shirt with his wife wearing hot pants or a miniskirt. Would your wife be pleased to offer the lady the manjal, kunkukam and saree that she wants to give?Or would your wife also offer her a pair of hot pants and miniskirts along with a -- you know what?

A vadhyar is supposed to sport a tuft, wear panchagachcham, vibhuti or naamam on his forehead to act as a priest in ceremonies at the house of grihastas. This is just like a pastor wearing a cloak while conducting services in the church. A vadhyar's/priest's wife has also to follow a certain dress code because she happens to be the wife of a vadhyar/priest. What she does within the four walls of her house is her choice. But in public she does not have that liberty. A husband and wife are a two person army fighting their battles in the world for survival and happiness. There is no use talking about dishormony here among them. They go together in every journey or they lose their way.

Please give me a thumbs down to this post too as that will make me happy. And I will understand that you are at your wits end. LOL.

I am not writing about the soupaathika seshathvam and nirupaathika seshathvam of vaishnava faith and its philosophical meaning and content here -- though I was tempted to write -- as it may fly above you and there is no provision to give two thumbs down to one post here. LOL.
 
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Dear Dakshayani,

You are displaying supreme adaptation to your new role as a wife to your husband.

I admire you for your devotion to him.

God bless you in your marriage.

I am not a Tamil Brahmin so I can't really give you more advise besides giving you blessings for your marriage.

But from a perspective of a married woman..I can tell you to also save some amount of your true self and nature.

I am not trying to discourage you..there is no harm you adapt if that makes you happy but in early phase of marriage when Romance and Hormones flood our brain..everything would seem worth a sacrifice..as we age sometimes we miss being ourselves.

Don't entire give up yourself for anyone..just adapt enough to adjust to a new environment but be yourself...your mind is what you can safely call your own.

You may change your attire..your appearance but make sure you are also accepted as being You.

A husband and wife should love each other as who they are and not what they can be for each other.

Take Care.

Dheerga Sumangali Bhava.

Thank you for the kind advise, I appreciate it & also Thank you for the wishes

I made the decision after considering for sometime, besides I do not feel i will change as a person, although it is true I will have restrictions that will come automatically.

i.e yesterday me and some close friends were in a mall in Chennai and we were the doing some shopping & dining. all of us were in western clothing. but once i change my attire it might be odd to go there like that given my age. so i might avoid it but i as a person will remain the same.

More importantly I felt it was my duty, because only I can take the position of wife so I made the decision based on that.
 
Daksha

Best wishes. You will be able to make your marriage work. You have the right attitude. Dump the words of doomsday soothsayers and live your life happily and meaningfully. God Bless You.

Thank you I am confident, at the end I will be fine, I am aware I will have to undergo a lot of changes, which might be difficult but I am doing because I can understand my fiance's position. In the long term he will become one of the senior priests & it would be right if the wife is also dressed appropriately

It's not just me whose going to change my husband will also undergo considerable changes in his attire as for the future.

And my noses will be pierced tomorrow, because to wear the larger studs I will have to have the wounds healed in time for the wedding.
 
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