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  1. #1
    mrifan's Avatar
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    Iyer-Iyengar marriage ceremonies

    I am just curious, are there any significant differences between Iyer and Iyengar wedding ceremonies? I know Iyer marriage ceremonies can last upto 3 days if all traditions are followed. In case an Iyer man marries an Iyengar woman, which side's priests will officiate at the ceremony, and which side gets to pick the auspicious date? Many thanks for a prompt response!
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    sirs - iyers follow saiva tradition. for them Lord shiva is the god. iyengars follow vaishnava tradition, and for them Lord vishnu is only god. in case of marriages between iyers and iyengars rituals are and should always performed as per husband's caste.
    (If my views are offensive i feel sorry for that)
    Regards
    Suresh.
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  4. #3
    hariharan1972 is offline Senior Member
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    A bit from my side

    Quote Originally Posted by mrifan View Post
    I am just curious, are there any significant differences between Iyer and Iyengar wedding ceremonies? I know Iyer marriage ceremonies can last upto 3 days if all traditions are followed. In case an Iyer man marries an Iyengar woman, which side's priests will officiate at the ceremony, and which side gets to pick the auspicious date? Many thanks for a prompt response!
    Mrifan,

    I am certainly not an authority on these matters but purely from observations i can state some differences

    a) Firstly in an iyengar marriage the term "yenda ambi" will be heard resonating through all the days

    b) During bandhi, saadam podamatta, but sadatha "kuthuva", there will be no rasam but "shathumadhu", there will be no poriyal but "karamadhu"

    c) Even serving wise, iyengars start with salt which i think iyers dont

    d) On the ritual side, in an iyengar marriage the bride sits on the lap of the father (wonder what would have happened had bindugosh been an iyengar !!!) while the groom ties the thali

    e) Some of my best friends are iyengars.....and anti-australians while i am a die-hard australian....so it gave me immense pleasure to see them turn into aussies -yellow veshti i.e white dhoti smeared fully with turmeric- during the marriage rituals

    f) And lastly, most of the iyengar marriages i have been to, i have seen the largest assembly of vathyars....infact at one of my iyengar friends marriage, the mandapam had barely enough space for him & his would-be wife to sit....there were about 11 vathyars making him turn, twist, bend, jump (now that's exaggeration !).....the main vathyar had such long hair that instantenously we named him M S Dhoni for "Main Sastrigal" Dhoni !!!!!

    Enlightening isn't it !!!!!

    Now well informed forum members can come up with more realistic differences and to all iyengar members of the forum - kshetha yenna shamichidungo !
    நன்றி,
    ஹரி

    அன்பே சிவம்.
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  6. #4
    Kothai is offline Junior Member
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    I am a married Iyer woman so I know how an Iyer marriage goes.
    If all the rituals and customs are properly followed an Iyer marriage will be for 5 days.
    But for comparing them, one should know both the things. As far as I know,
    an Iyengar bride sits on the lap of her father who sits on the stage, and Iyer bride also sits on the father's lap but father sits on a chair which is covered with a Silk Veshti.
    And whenever the bride or groom or both do Namaskaram, Iyers do it once, while Iyengars do it 3 times.
    "During bandhi, saadam podamatta, but sadatha "kuthuva", there will be no rasam but "shathumadhu", there will be no poriyal but "karamadhu""

    The "kuththuva" term is associated with any liquid food item. Iyers start serving with Payasam. Usually they don't serve salt.
    The serving person in Iyer side will ask "innum konjam rasam podattuma or innum konjam venuma". But in Iyengar side, it goes like "innum konjam saathamudhu kettukkarela.."
    For "saappadu" or "saadham" they will say "thaligai".
    Even the method of wearing the Madisaar pudavai is also different. The thalaippu of the pudavai is put in the right side in Iyers but in left side in Iyengars.
    This is what I've observed. But one thing I can say confidently. The "Puliyodharai" prepared by Iyengars is very,very tasty.
    I am eager to know the basic differences from experts
    Last edited by Kothai; 22-05-2007 at 12:09 PM.
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  8. #5
    mrifan's Avatar
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    Wedding related Event management company in Bangalore

    Does anyone know of any "event management" companies specializing in Brahmana marriages in Bangalore? Some outfit which can arrange the Chattiram, Brahmana vaadyars (Iyer & Iyengar), and appropriate materials and supplies for a Brahmana wedding, ending with a reception etc. This would include sending out invitations, providing transport, and other small things that would mean that the families just need to show up and everything else is taken care of. Any reliable contacts in this regard would be appreciated. Thanks.
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    Just read through all the posts on the Iyer- Iyengar marriage .. Tho an Iyengar by birth and married into an Iyengar family, I dont claim to be an authority. But would just like to add my two bit ..

    Hari .. "yenda ambi" is heard almost in all the brahmin households.. the eldest son in the family is invariably called Ambi... so I dont know why you single out Iyengars (weddings) for that !! :-)

    Also wonder how many Iyers/Iyengars use the word "proiyal" even during normal conversation ?

    also Kothai .. its always "Saadikattuma" for serving.... and "thaligai" is for "samayal".... not saadham alone ..

    and also Iyers start the pandhi first by serving vegetables ( so also Thengalai Iyengars) but vadagalai iyengars serve the rice first .

    any other major differences ... i need to ask the elders in the family and will definitely get back :-)

    Bhooma

    ps: wonder why our good friend SF hasnt contributed his two bit ? I need some support SF!!!!
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  12. #7
    prpsarathy is offline Member
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    my understanding :

    Marriage rituals are as per veda's where agni is taken as sakshi. Seven step taken togather is more important than the others. I am an iyengar who learned my sandhyavandhanam from iyer guru. A nice sage. The only difference used to naryana prithyartham or shiva prithyartham. so the invokation load would be Ganesha & shiva in case of iyers and sudharshana and vishnu in case of iyengars.

    However, i feel enough difference exist and people must try too look at brahmins as a whole. At a very pheripheral shaivates and vishavates are looked as shiva and vishnu bhakta but philosphically they advita and visisadvita.

    At the same time if u look at sankhya [ vishnu avatar ] it talks about god less ness.

    Pls comment
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  14. #8
    hariharan1972 is offline Senior Member
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    Said in jest

    Quote Originally Posted by Bhooma View Post

    Hari .. "yenda ambi" is heard almost in all the brahmin households.. the eldest son in the family is invariably called Ambi... so I dont know why you single out Iyengars (weddings) for that !! :-)
    Bhooma,

    I was just writing in jest.

    I am not an iyengar. So, most of my "observations" are limited to what i saw/heard in the iyengar weddings i attended.

    I thought "badava / abishtu" was more used by Iyers. Anyways, Ambi or Abishtu, i stand corrected.
    நன்றி,
    ஹரி

    அன்பே சிவம்.
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  16. #9
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    silverfox is offline Senior Member
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    <<d) On the ritual side, in an iyengar marriage the bride sits on the lap of the father (wonder what would have happened had bindugosh been an iyengar !!!) while the groom ties the thali>>

    Hari, you are wrong!! I checked with some Iyer experts and they do exactly the same - bride sitting on the father's lap. As a matter of fact, I attended a Iyer wedding in Chennai a few months ago and they did the same thing!

    Now, I hope this discussion is a fun way of describing the differences but at the same time admire and celebrate the diversity (small) within our Brahmin community.

    Kothai, it is "sattramudu"; NOT "shatamudu". Iyengars use Tamil terminology. "Sattru" + "Amudhu" = "Sattramudu. "Thiru" + "Kannan" + "Amudhu" = "Thirukkannamudhu"
    "Kari" + "Amudhu = 'kariyamudu'.
    Iyengars use "amudhu" as a sufffix to several food items. I think this is based on the Vaishnava bhakti based on pure Love and devotion in that everything is offered to the Lord in a loving way.

    In my family, I have several of my nephews and nieces married Iyengar-Iyer-Iyengar!!
    In attending weddings, I did not see any significant difference at all except for the 'madisar' of ladies!!
    Let us celebrate our differences!!
    Last edited by silverfox; 07-07-2007 at 03:06 AM. Reason: corrected syntex
    SILVER FOX
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  18. #10
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    silverfox is offline Senior Member
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    Kothai:
    I have my comments in red. By the way, I am not an authority by any extent. These are based on my observations and by asking the 'experts'!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kothai View Post
    I am a married Iyer woman so I know how an Iyer marriage goes.
    If all the rituals and customs are properly followed an Iyer marriage will be for 5 days.
    Iyengars have same 4-5 days! I should say 'had'; who has got the time these days!
    I was very surprised to find (when I was in Chennai) that they conduct the 'Reception' before actual wedding!!!!


    But for comparing them, one should know both the things. As far as I know,
    an Iyengar bride sits on the lap of her father who sits on the stage, and Iyer bride also sits on the father's lap but father sits on a chair which is covered with a Silk Veshti.
    This is exactly the same in Iyengar weddings; except it is on the stage where the wedding is conducted (but this was same in Iyer wedding also).

    And whenever the bride or groom or both do Namaskaram, Iyers do it once, while Iyengars do it 3 times.
    Wrong! Iyengars always do it either 2 times or 4 times; never in odd number. Also, Iyengars say 'sevikkirathu', not 'Namaskaram'.

    "During bandhi, saadam podamatta, but sadatha "kuthuva", there will be no rasam but "shathumadhu", there will be no poriyal but "karamadhu""
    See Bhooma's comments

    The "kuththuva" term is associated with any liquid food item. Iyers start serving with Payasam. Usually they don't serve salt.
    Iyengars start by serving sadham ordinarily. But in functions and feasts, they start with sugar, banana first followed by paruppu; then saadam.

    The serving person in Iyer side will ask "innum konjam rasam podattuma or innum konjam venuma". But in Iyengar side, it goes like "innum konjam saathamudhu kettukkarela.."
    For "saappadu" or "saadham" they will say "thaligai".
    Even the method of wearing the Madisaar pudavai is also different. The thalaippu of the pudavai is put in the right side in Iyers but in left side in Iyengars.
    This is what I've observed. But one thing I can say confidently. The "Puliyodharai" prepared by Iyengars is very,very tasty.
    I completely agree; nothing like Iyengar "puliyodharai"!! ; please also add Iyengar "Sarkarai Pongal"!

    I am eager to know the basic differences from experts
    Last edited by silverfox; 04-07-2007 at 11:05 PM.
    SILVER FOX
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