Thread: Murphy's laws and their variations...

• A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.

•

A shatterproof object will always fall on the only surface hard
enough to crack or break it.

•

A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on
the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).

•

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the
soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) - unless it is
running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like
your foot).

•

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit
the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the
process.

•

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a
diamond ring down the drain, for example) - or into the garbage
disposal while it is running.

•

If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum
ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way
as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.

•

If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an
adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the
driver's side of your car windshield.

•

More Laws of Selective Gravitation were sent by Jack from
the Classic CKLW Page

•

The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the
cat will throw up on it.
Sent by Ralph

•

You will always find something in the last place you look.

•

If your looking for more than one thing, you'll find the most
important one last.
Sent by Alegna

•

It is never in the last place you look. It is in the first place you look,
but never discovered on the first attempt.
Sent by Peter

•

After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and
searched for everywhere, you'll find the original.
Sent by Dizzy

•

You have to look where you lost it.
Sent by ClaytonPrc@aol.com

•

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've
bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

•

The other line always moves faster.

•

In order to get a personal loan, you must first prove you don't need
it.

•

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you
thought.

•

If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.

•

If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

•

When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will
work perfectly.

•

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

•

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

•

In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of
incompetence, and then remains there.

•

There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it
over.

•

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

•

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

•

Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

•

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.

•

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

•

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

•

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

•

No good deed goes unpunished.
Sent by John Cougar and by getalife who asks "who wrote that?".
Illustrious Blackbird knew the answer, it was Samuel L. Clemens also
known as Mark Twain.

•

Where patience fails, force prevails.
Sent by Woody.

•

Erma Bombeck
"Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.
Sent by Amwood1@amwoodhomes.com.

•

Heisenberg indetermination principle applied to ill luck:
The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,
the worse you know when this will happen,
and vice-versa.
and Relativistic correction of Murphy's law:
Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of
reference.

6

Corollary (otherwise said: ill luck is actually absolute):
Regardless of your frame of reference, things will go wrong anyway.
Were sent by Simone Penzavalle.

•

If you want something bad enough, chances are you won't get it.

•

If you think you are doing the right thing, chances are it will backfire
in your face.

•

When waiting for traffic, chances are that when one lane clears the
other is congested.

•

Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.

•

Remember the "Boomer-rang" effect; Whatever you do will always
come back.

•

If you re-act to actions, you've acted on actions.

•

He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over
your anger.
The last SEVEN laws were sent by Leesa,
Thank you.

•

Any time you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen
again.

•

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

•

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you
are trying to impress.

•

No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string.
(getting everyone in the family to the car at the same time for
example)

•

The fish are always biting....yesterday!

•

You will never leave a parking space without someone in an adjacent
space leaving at the same time.
Sent by Sean Murphy

•

The cost of the hair do is directly related to the strength of the wind.

•

Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never
forgotten.

•

The clothes washer/dryer will only eat one of each pair of socks.
EIGHT laws were sent by Charles L. Mays,
Thank you.

•

When you see light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel will cave in.
Sent by Fridrik Bjarnason
Or in another version
The light at the end of the tunnel is a train

Sent by Steve

Picked these up from a pdf received through mail... the list goes on and on... just putting up some interesting ones here...

In management and military training, this law is frequently quoted. Though it looks like a pessimistic outlook, it prepares one psychologically for the worst and helps one plan to tackle such eventuality, if possible. Alternate plans are drawn up and kept ready for implementation, so as to wriggle out of the situation.

I love this law so much that I quote it frequently to my wife and children and my friends. In preventing accidents and also any possibility of fall or damage, understanding this law is very helpful.

MORAL:
Never take any chances and ensure 100 % desired result (success).

The depth of a hole is directly proportional to length of the pole.



sb

It is in very poor taste, Bala.

Can't i not joke even?Loosen up will you!

sb

Originally Posted by s007bala

The depth of a hole is directly proportional to length of the pole.



sb

Hee hee...