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    Virginity in India

    Ours is a country that still values it’s purity and likes its young men and women to be untouched before they get married. There are mothers-in-law who excel in the art of conducting the “virginity test” – a spot examination that includes going into the bedroom of a newlywed couple the morning after their first night together and checking for blood stains on the bed sheets – stains that were purportedly left by the torn hymen of a virginal bride.Of course, now, things are changing. Sex between unmarried couples is on the rise and many Indian metros are seeing men and women opting to live-in together without the bond of holy matrimony. Even amongst those who are open to sex before marriage, attitudes vary wildly – from those who see it as an expression of true and undying love to others who view it as a recreational activity between two consenting adults.


    Would you marry someone who was not a virgin? - Yahoo! Lifestyle India
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    Quote Originally Posted by prasad1 View Post
    Ours is a country that still values it’s purity and likes its young men and women to be untouched before they get married. There are mothers-in-law who excel in the art of conducting the “virginity test” – a spot examination that includes going into the bedroom of a newlywed couple the morning after their first night together and checking for blood stains on the bed sheets – stains that were purportedly left by the torn hymen of a virginal bride.Of course, now, things are changing. Sex between unmarried couples is on the rise and many Indian metros are seeing men and women opting to live-in together without the bond of holy matrimony. Even amongst those who are open to sex before marriage, attitudes vary wildly – from those who see it as an expression of true and undying love to others who view it as a recreational activity between two consenting adults.


    Would you marry someone who was not a virgin? - Yahoo! Lifestyle India
    I dont think that virginity is always synonym with purity.
    Many are virgins becos of lack of opportunity!!!LOL(just kidding).

    Actually most people do not really give too much importance to all this these days as long the couple love each other.

    Anyway we Indians have double standards..the ethnic Indian man even out here in Malaysia always want virgins if they are marrying and indian Hindu girl bit if they marry a non Indian they dont question the virginity status and marry non virgins.

    Since I have a son and I will be a Mother In Law one day..all I would hope from my son is to marry a nice Hindu girl and the virginity status of my future daughter in law will not matter to me.

    I feel virginity is a personal right of an individual to Be or Not to Be.
    Last edited by renuka; 23-01-2012 at 05:31 PM.
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    Marvin.Naidoo1 is offline Amateur
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    I guess your question should apply to both sexes. In today’s society girl’s party as hard as the guys, so would a girl marry a guy who has slept around? Today’s biggest concern should be std’s. Do you buy a car and drive it straight off the showroom floor? (joke)
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    DR.C.NARAYANI is offline Senior Member
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    hello ,i think it should be under sticky thread ,as we all come out with different opinion ,as well as tug of war?? .heading is virginity in india as i assume it to be for both the gender ,one can see this in different point of view ,ie --talking about past as it was said so many women(400 app.) commit sucide ,along with a south indian queen during or before freedom period ,as they were ordered to under go illegal activities with english men.the value should be taught right from home ,respect women ie --her relationship ,the article in yahoo ,is nice to read ONLY .& we can see this is mr .KB sir movies only ,the question continue as is it lost with the beloved one ,is it another person .be frank how many men & women will accept it when it for them .no gender biased. but nowadays people are too very smart either to hide it or to under go every thing ,accept certain level (i do not want to state certain terms with due respect to this forum )all fantasy will vanish after certain period ,who ever the people ,what ever be their country ,this lies in the individual point of view & individual person , but never lose ones own self respect (not self prestige )at any point for both gender. ( whether was it intentional ,accidental ,for fantasy ,revenge etc.), i think i had come out in very different angle. let me wait for others view .
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    amala is offline Veteran
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    I agree that virginity is a highly personal thing and its entirely upto that individual what they get upto in their personal lives.

    But i have always wondered if virginity for us Indians - is it a religious thing, or purely cultural?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin.Naidoo1 View Post
    I guess your question should apply to both sexes. In today’s society girl’s party as hard as the guys, so would a girl marry a guy who has slept around? Today’s biggest concern should be std’s. Do you buy a car and drive it straight off the showroom floor? (joke)
    Depends on the car.
    If you are buying a special exotic cars forget the test drive, you pay a lot of money and hope the wait was worth it. LOL

    But then again if you are buying a really cheap car, then you can test drive that and other cars.

    Selecting a spouse has to be special.

    I was just observing the changing norms. It is not a judgement.
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    Quote Originally Posted by amala View Post
    I agree that virginity is a highly personal thing and its entirely upto that individual what they get upto in their personal lives.

    But i have always wondered if virginity for us Indians - is it a religious thing, or purely cultural?
    I think in eastern culture the religious aspect is not too far. We give the seal of religion to our cultural practice and get into trouble.

    The orthodox in any religion face the same problem.
    The culture is ever changing and should not be linked with never changing.
    Brahma Satyam, Jagat Mithya, and Jivo Brahmaiva naparah.

    Sorry to change the topic.
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  14. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by DR.C.NARAYANI View Post
    hello ,i think it should be under sticky thread ,as we all come out with different opinion ,as well as tug of war?? .heading is virginity in india as i assume it to be for both the gender ,one can see this in different point of view ,ie --talking about past as it was said so many women(400 app.) commit sucide ,along with a south indian queen during or before freedom period ,as they were ordered to under go illegal activities with english men.the value should be taught right from home ,respect women ie --her relationship ,the article in yahoo ,is nice to read ONLY .& we can see this is mr .KB sir movies only ,the question continue as is it lost with the beloved one ,is it another person .be frank how many men & women will accept it when it for them .no gender biased. but nowadays people are too very smart either to hide it or to under go every thing ,accept certain level (i do not want to state certain terms with due respect to this forum )all fantasy will vanish after certain period ,who ever the people ,what ever be their country ,this lies in the individual point of view & individual person , but never lose ones own self respect (not self prestige )at any point for both gender. ( whether was it intentional ,accidental ,for fantasy ,revenge etc.), i think i had come out in very different angle. let me wait for others view .
    Well said, Dr.C.Narayani.

    What I used to wonder when people say sex is the extention of Love between the lovers, is, why should they indulge in sex first of all, before marriage itself, if they truly love each other and want to marry with each other?

    Is that to fulfill the lust (as mostly, love seems to be motivated by the attractive appeal of a boy and a girl) before something goes wrong and they break up or they fail to marry due parents objections?

    Whether virginity is a personal choice or not, what I wonder is, whats the true meaning of true love among the most progressive, independent, realistic, rational and smart people?

    Is that "only" the Lust that has formed the foundation for Love between the two?


    The other thing is, does people comfort themselves in the name of love to fulfill their lust?

    The last thing is, can they have sex without emotionally attached with the other and with out a legitimate marriage, that confirms the genuine acceptance of love between the two? Offcourse this question is not for those who likes and follow the concept of "live in relationship", without marriage.

    All my above thoughts are considering the Indian culture alone. I have nothing to bother about the other territory, irrespective of what each individuals over their feel about it.


    As far as virginity test is concerned, either by the husand or in laws, that's the most nasty and cheap mentality, for which I would have utter contempt. As far as I am concerned, it's a very very nasty thing even to ask for the virginity status of the future spouse, before one's marriage.




    Last edited by C RAVI; 23-01-2012 at 07:48 PM. Reason: spelling corrections
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  16. #9
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    In the wedding mantram for kanyaadaan they say

    "ime kanya...."grand daughter of so and so etc...

    May be it should be changed to include the non-virgins also

    if the mantra should not prove false.
    Last edited by Visalakshi Ramani; 24-01-2012 at 09:29 AM.
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    Can the concerned girl tell her husband that she had slept around with others-without feeling guilty or sorry or both???
    She should be, if it is really a personal choice with no other consequence!


    Quote Originally Posted by amala View Post
    I agree that virginity is a highly personal thing and its entirely upto that individual what they get upto in their personal lives.

    But i have always wondered if virginity for us Indians - is it a religious thing, or purely cultural?
  19. All views expressed by the Members and Moderators here are that of the individuals only and do not reflect the official policy or view of the TamilBrahmins.com Website.
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