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  1. #1
    sankaran1950 is offline Newbie
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    Age difference between boy and girl for marriage

    Of late I observe that there are many marriages are taking place wherein the age difference between boy and girl is hardly 3 to 6 months or max of 1 year. I know it is preferred to have age difference of 6 years (boy elder to girl) as per brahmin traditions, but the girls do not prefer to have such a wide gap with their current independence and change in life styles etc. Please enlighten me with your views in this regard.

    Sankaran
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    Quote Originally Posted by sankaran1950 View Post
    Of late I observe that there are many marriages are taking place wherein the age difference between boy and girl is hardly 3 to 6 months or max of 1 year. I know it is preferred to have age difference of 6 years (boy elder to girl) as per brahmin traditions, but the girls do not prefer to have such a wide gap with their current independence and change in life styles etc. Please enlighten me with your views in this regard.

    Sankaran
    Sankaran

    Boys today prefer girls with mental frequencies to vibrate as their own frequency.But what boys do not yet realise is,once they get married and the girls have children,the physical intimacy requirement is quiet different from that of the girls.

    Girls become content after chidlren are born and after certain age,women lose all interest in physical intimacy,thats when the age difference of at least 4-7 years kicks in real practical life,our elders are wise to suggest 4-7 years apart between males & females,wherein the females are younger than the males.Youngster who do not listen to parents will feel this,as age goes by.

    sb
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  4. #3
    sankaran1950 is offline Newbie
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    Smile

    Thanks SB. Yes I agree with your point of view. Is there any specific mention in our Vedic scripts on this subject or is it more of a practice in the form of customs / traditions that we look upon. The boys & girls argue as to what happens if the age difference is in the range of few months. I have a living example in my family wherein the couple do not have any children in cases where the difference in age is less than a year. I do not know if it bears any relation to such issues.

    Sankaran
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  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by sankaran1950 View Post
    Thanks SB. Yes I agree with your point of view. Is there any specific mention in our Vedic scripts on this subject or is it more of a practice in the form of customs / traditions that we look upon. The boys & girls argue as to what happens if the age difference is in the range of few months. I have a living example in my family wherein the couple do not have any children in cases where the difference in age is less than a year. I do not know if it bears any relation to such issues.

    Sankaran
    Sankaran

    I think sage vatsayana in his kama sutras has mentioned about this age difference.But then he goes on to very specific physical as well as mental compatibilities which modern science in its medical research is conforming to.Of course many our rishis were gifted individuals,who were not only wise but practical also.

    As for your example within your family,i am not sure to say what could be the cause,apart from the physical aspect,women mature mentally much earlier than men,so compatibility on this score is also a practical thing,as otherwise women will boss over like a mother instead of understanding wife.

    In my opinion,minimum 4 years is required and women should be younger and max 7 years as the upper limit.Beyond this,again compatibility of another kind will crop up and the man will not be able to keep up with the demands of younger woman

    sb
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    Exclamation

    As per the Dharma Sastra the groom should be thrice the age of the bride.That was enunciated at the time when society was different.Gradually it became to be adopted that there should be at lease three years difference the boy being older.Medically and psychologically the womrn "age" (if I may use the word) earlier
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  10. #6
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    Not sure age matters as much as it is being made out. My parents are same age (7 months diff). Two aunts married men a year younger than them. It all seemed rather acceptable. But when a cousin fell in love with a guy nearly 6 years younger than her, it was vehemently opposed. But she married him nevertheless (registered marriage, left no choice for others) and they are a happy couple today with kids (her husband is tall, big built and no one can ever tell he is younger than her, behaviour wise he is rather dominating kind). It all depends on the situation, people involved, their nature, adaptability....
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  12. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by happyhindu View Post
    Not sure age matters as much as it is being made out. My parents are same age (7 months diff). Two aunts married men a year younger than them. It all seemed rather acceptable. But when a cousin fell in love with a guy nearly 6 years younger than her, it was vehemently opposed. But she married him nevertheless (registered marriage, left no choice for others) and they are a happy couple today with kids (her husband is tall, big built and no one can ever tell he is younger than her, behaviour wise he is rather dominating kind). It all depends on the situation, people involved, their nature, adaptability....
    Yours maybe an 'exception' to the rule factor.In majority of the cases,its always better if the woman is younger,or at least in Tambrahms families in India especially TN specific geographical region.

    sb
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  14. #8
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    suppose i give u examples of tambram ppl from TN specific geographical area??

    anyways, this is a nice one: http://www.deccanherald.com/Content/...0706015031.asp
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  16. #9
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    HH, What I write below is not to belittle your thoughts but only to share some thoughts that are based on general good. Exceptions are always there in anything.

    In those days, a young boy went to gurukula and the girl stayed at home. The marriage was early for many reasons. The boy having been tutored, now imparts the knowledge to the girl from the time of getting married. At a young age, the older boy and younger girl gel better when it comes to being teacher and student. Now a days, that tradition is not so, because both go to educational institutions.

    In general, the physical development of man and woman though being quite similar. Puberty and hormones play a great role in differentiating mental maturity of man and woman in early stages (teens). The girl takes a easier and earlier grasp of the changes from puberty and hormones than a man. What I mean here is the maturity of mind.

    So a girl married to a man at an early age teens or just out of teens would have a large gap in their maturity levels.

    If the boy were just about two to three years elder than the girl it would help in them being of good vibes in early 20s. Once they grow older, the age is not so relevant. So that may be the reason it is more acceptable for both genders now a days.

    If they get married at a much later stage, say mid 20s or even later as is happening today, they need to rush towards going the family way within an year of marriage. This is because, the woman is better off carrying her baby well before 30 and it is considered as risky (or requires special care), if she is above 35.

    So again, if she got married at her early 20s she needs a man who is to be elder than her so he has a good balance over himself physically. That puts him in the mid 20s.

    But, it doesn't end there. The woman reaches her menopause in the early and mid 40s. If they were the same age, the man would be still too virile to understand her difficulties in not being a cooperative partner. Being married to a man of about 4 to 6 years elder than herself, she would find her partner near his 50's when she goes into menopause. A partner who is probably lesser susceptible to issues of understanding because of one's own changes in age and bodily demands.

    Just a few things that I thought of saying here for now.
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  18. #10
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    very nicely put sv...true too...

    am sorta wondering why am i coming across more and more people going for partners tht wud traditionally not be acceptable even abt a ten years back...mayb ppl find this liberalized atmosphere condusive to doing away with norms to live life bindaas...and more men openly call themselves gay than ever before...its all like no one gives a damn so i'll rather live my life the way i want to..
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